Finding Lady Sue!

Where does the time go?

2011-07-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, It's been over 3 months since I was last here. How time flies! I wish I could say I've been busy losing the extra weight but that would be a big fat lie...I've pretty much decided that the more I focus on my weight problem the more depressed I get so instead I've been focusing on other things...

Since the last time I was here I've had a birthday and turned 61 years young...I didn't go crazy over getting older. I've pretty much accepted that there isn't anything I can do to stop from getting old except to enjoy the life I have. My group Thus had our annual April Party where all of us (7 people) who have birthdays in April could celebrate. We had it at my friend's J house, who is spending the summer in Paris, and surprise, surprise, our theme this year was France...She had her house set up like we were in France..it was so much fun.

I'm still struggling to learn French. I think I've got it down and then I wake up in the morning and I can't remember hardly what I've learned. It's weird that I can read french but have a terrible time speaking it..I can remember what a word is when I read it but ask me what a word in English is and I can't remember...But I'm not giving up..The way I figure is that it took me many years to learn to speak English (as a child) and French is much harder...

I'm back playing racquetball (sort of). My friend "T" wanted to learn and she is also learning French and struggling with her weight so we decided to try something different. When we play racquetball we keep score in French and try to only talk in French..it can get pretty hilarious...

My younger sister came to Georgia for a month to visit her daughters (both live here) and see her new granddaughter. We visited a few times but probably not as much as we should have. I like seeing her but she also depresses me. She likes to live in the past and that's not what I am about anymore. She still acts like she is back in the 70's. I love her but I'm glad that she lives in Wyoming. I know that's not nice but that's me!

The job is going okay...Princess Val has her good days and her bad days...the worst part of my job is putting up with her Dad. He is so negative about everything that some days I just want to smack him in the head. I don't understand how people can live with that attitude...it's so hateful.

I'm headed for work now and then I'll hit the gym afterwards.
A la porchaine! Plus tard!

Social life!

2011-03-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

I went to the High Museum last night with my two friends and we had so much fun. It was storming but we were inside so it didn't matter to us once we got downtown to the Museum.

My friends "T" and "J"..."J" on the right is the person who is planning on moving to Paris in the future! Maybe the next time I can post a picture of the real Eiffel Tower!

The event was the Dans le Moment and the artists was Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (French, 1864-1901)

I absolutely fell in love with this print ..I'm not sure why but it just speaks to me. I truly have no taste when it comes to art but every once in a while I will see something different that I really like..most of the pictures in my house are scenery type pictures (how boring!) .

Some of the artists models

Oh la la...these Mademoiselles knew how to dress for the event!!!

Quirky hat..I loved it!

Keeping active!

2011-03-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so much better these day. I have a confession to make. I did something that I've always said I wouldn't do. I ordered some pills from the internet. I kept seeing this ad on FB for low thyroid so I checked it out and decided that I would order some just to see how they worked. Usually I don't believe all this quick fix scams but this one seemed to check out. So I started on the little yellow pill a week and half ago and I actually feel better. I lost 2 pounds and have more energy again. Whooohooo. It may just be all in my mind but for now I don't think it's hurting anything.

My friend "T" that I go walking with at the park is having car and money problems so I haven't been for a couple of weeks..I know I should go even without her..I guess I haven't been motivated enough because I accept the excuse that I can't afford the gas money..
I suggested to "T" if when her daughter graduates in 3 months and moves out if she would consider moving in with me and share the expenses. Not sure if it's the right thing for either of us but it would help both of us, even if it's only temporary.

I'm really getting immerged into learning the French. This past Monday night I went to a Meetup for French. It was fun meeting new people and listening to French being spoken in a regular setting, instead of tapes and cd's. This coming Saturday, the High Museum is having an event called Dans le Moment, with music, burlecque dancers and Parisian street food, and "T", "J" and I are going. We're going to meet up with some of our new friends that we met this past Monday night. It should be a blast. I can't wait.

I've went to the gym on Tues night and really pushed myself. I did the treadmill and then lower body (legs) by the time I left I was soaking wet with sweat. That's how good I feel. I've got my gym bag packed to go tonight to work upper body (arms)..

I've been pretty good about not doing the "mindless eating" this past week. I seem to be satisfied when I eat my regular meals. Not sure if it's the little pill or not, but what ever works is good with me.

Got to head out for work now but I'll be back for More Later!

I need someone to be accountalbe to!

2011-03-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

I see it's been almost a month since I've actually blogged my thoughts...cartoons don't really count! It seems like if I miss a couple of days it's harder to get back on track. I use the excuse that since no one really is reading this blog but me that it won't matter that I miss a few days. Then there are the days that I just don't have anything I want to say. I haven't even been going to other blogs to get motivated and to see how everyone else is doing. I miss Grumpy..and wonder if she is having the same problem I am or if she just didn't want to "waste" her time blogging.

I wish I could say that in this last month my life has gotten better...but I can't...it hasn't gotten worse either.
I still haven't gone to the doctor to see if I have a Thyroid problem..not having any medical insurance or extra money is part of it but mostly because I have this adversion to doctors. I spent soo much time with Larry in the hospital and at doctors to no avail that I've come to believe that doctors may have alot of knowledge but mostly they can only guess at what the problem is and that the doctors of old who really cared for thier patients as people are no longer out there..now a days the medical profession is just that " profession". Doctors are out there only to make money..they don't even see you as a person..they certainly don't remember you as soon as they leave the room. Enough of the ranting..the question is Where does that leave me as far as my health goes? I'll have to get back to that after I've figured it out.

February being a short month (only 28 days) really hurt in my paychecks this month. I get paid only for the days I work so being shorted 2 days on my last paycheck of the month which i usually to pay my living expenses (electric, phones, water, etc) really hurt. My salary is pretty much at the bottom of the totem pole anyway. I tell myself that I am lucky that I have a job..there are so many people out there out of work right now...but it doesn't make it any easier for me when I have to figure out how to eat on $15 a week, because food is the only thing I am able to cut back on. This doesn't help when you are trying to eat healty and lose weight..I can eat on that amount and keep full but mostly it consists of garbage.

I have done something POSITIVE for myself this past month. I've taken up learning French again. I tried a couple of years ago and got discouraged because I just never got the "rolling of the R". But this time I have some friends who are helping me. My friend "J" is actually planning on moving to France in a couple of years and my dream is to be able to go visit her when she does. I've joined a couple of French Clubs through Meetup.com. besides meeting up with 4 of my friends (J included) every Weds night at a french restruarant to go over what I have learned..I been signed up for About.com French for years and have been saving all my emails from them and am now going back and learning. I also have a set of tapes that I got years ago by Berlitz which I've dug out again and listen to in my truck on my way to work..as you can see..I am determined to learn this time. I just hope I can retain what I learn this time..

As far as my exercise is going...I was walking at the park with "T" for a couple of Sundays and it was nice, but she is having car problems and I'm using the excuse that I don't have the money for gas to drive all the way to the park right now. I've hit the gym a couple of times a week but I know I need to go more often and get a real good workout. I just wish I could get motivated again. I'm fine once I get there and get started but I seem to find excused NOT to go. And I hate coming here writing about those excuses.

I haven't weighed myself this past month and I'm not sure when I will.

I hate that I sound so blah but that's how I feel today. At least I came here..
Last thought for the day...Why is it that when I'm at work on Saturday when I can't get out of the house (like yesterday),the weather is beautiful and then on Sunday (like today) when I can, it's cloudy and gloomy..I hate
it!
More later (I promise)

Still laughing!

2011-03-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

A laugh for the day!

2011-03-01T18:27:00.001-08:00

Choices

2011-02-28T06:16:00.000-08:00

Change Begins with Choice, by Jim Rohn

Any day we wish, we can discipline ourselves to change it all.

Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity, and create a new Reality! Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause.

As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life: If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life. And it all begins with your very own power of choice.

A friend sent this to me today. Good Stuff ! and oh so true!

ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE

2011-02-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

I’m remembering what it was like to be “Obese” right after Lar passed away. All the pains and aggravations of being overweight and I’m realizing that that all the signs are there that I’m getting close to being right back where I was when I started this Long journey 8 years ago.

From July 2003 to October 2007 I went from weighing 235 pounds to 159 pounds (most of my weight loss I lost the first year and maintained for at least 2 years). I went from a size 22 pants to a size 10 (and they were getting too big). I felt so good.

Since October 2007 I have gained until I weighed-in today at 217 pounds and I put on size 16 pants…so although I’m not at my heaviest weight (which was 276 pounds back in 1998) I weigh more than I want to at this time in my life. If I don’t stop and change things today all the signs are there that I’m headed in the wrong direction.
REMEMBERING BACK TO 2003…. I hurt all over (especially my feet).
I could hardly walk…I remember going into WalMart using the cart from the parking lot to support myself because my feet and ankles hurt so much to walk. (My feet have started to hurt again, not as bad as then but still the Signs are there.)
My thighs rubbed together so bad that all of my pants had holes in the inseams, and I couldn’t were shorts or a skirt because then I would get a rash between the legs from sweating. (I’m back to this NOW..the Sign is There.)
When I looked down my belly was bigger than my boobs.
I wore "Granny Panties” and they would roll under my belly. (I’m back to this and I hate it…I want my sexy undies back)
I couldn’t catch my breath when I walked.
Going up a few stairs was pure agony on my knees.
Having the steering wheel up as far as it would go so I would fit behind it.

WHAT I DID IN 2003 TO CHANGE
I think the two things that helped me the most once I made up my mind that I wanted a new life was First, I signed up for a gym and hired a personal trainer. AND I stuck to it! I made myself go even when I didn’t want to. I started out easy, taking one day at a time. Second, I went on line and signed up for a support group (eDiets). I also started taking vitamins and supplements. I had a protein drink for breakfast every morning and drank at least 100 oz of water daily.

I'm hoping that by looking back at what I learned the last time I took off weight that I can do the same again.
I need to find WHY I gained this weight back this time..What I didn't do to keep it off...and WHY it isn't coming off this time although I've gone back to exercising at the gym. I won't hire a PT this time..no monies, altho I think they are great for keeping a person on track and making sure my form is correct but after having one for 2 years, I feel that I pretty much know what I need to be doing at the gym..
I do know that my diet has changed..not so much of WHAT I eat but When I eat. When I lost the weight I was eating 5 small meals a day..now I eat 1-2 meals a day and snack in the evenings..

Need to pay attention to the signs and get my life back on track.
More later

Lost Opportunities

2011-02-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

Again I’ve been so bad about blogging. Mostly because I’ve been bad about getting serious about losing this weight. I do want to lose weight I just don’t want to have to think about it all the time and work to lose the weight. I KNOW that’s WRONG and that it will do me NO good. If I don’t get serious about this SOON I will be back to the weight I was 8 years ago before Lar passed away. I really don’t want to be there.

I had some of my friends over last Saturday night and we sat around my new firepit and drank wine. They brought snacks to eat, humus & crackers. It was nice.

I should have gone for a walk at the park on Sunday but I used the excuses that I was too tired since we stayed up until the wee hours and no one wanted to do the walk with me. I remember a time (a few years ago) when this wouldn’t have stopped me. In fact I’ve always enjoyed walking by myself at my favorite park so I KNOW that I gave into my IC.

My neighbor “E” was suppose to come Saturday night but I got a call from her on Saturday telling me that she couldn’t come. I told her she had best have a really good excuse for not coming since I had just talked to her on Thursday night and she said she would love to come. She then told me that after she hung up from talking to me she started to have a pain in her stomach and that it got so bad that she called her Mom to take her to the hospital.

She had surgery on Friday for a perforated Colon and was in the hospital when she called me. Now that’s what I call a REALLY good excuse. She was told on Tuesday that she had a tumor and it was positive for cancer. The docs think they got it all but she has to do Chemo. I feel so bad that I have let our friendship fall to the side so much that she didn’t think to call me that night when she needed someone. When Lar was alive we saw each other a lot. Since his death we both have gone our own way, not seeing each other for weeks. Over the past few months we have been trying to get together more. I will watch her dog Morgan for her when she needs me. One of my new goals for this year is to be a better friend. I’ve never been good at keeping up friendships. I’ve always left it up to the other person to carry on, but I’m going to work on it with the rest of the stuff I have to work on..

I didn’t go to the gym at all last week for one reason or other. I did work in my yard raking for four hours on Monday and that’s about all the exercise I got all week. I really couldn’t tell you what I ate all week…except the box of Girl Scout Cookies (I remember those). I should have walked Morgan (my neighbors dog) but again I didn’t. A lost opportunity!
I did get off my FB (in my case it's not FaceBook but Fat Butt) and signed up for 2 hikes this morning. The first on is this coming Monday afternoon.. I almost let my IC convince me that I couldn’t do it because I can’t afford the gas monies to get to the park..(it’s on the other side of town) and that with this extra weight I’ve gained this past couple of weeks I won’t be able to keep up with everyone. Then I looked over the description of the hike again this morning and it looks like one I can do (there are 5 other 60+ people on the hike so I WILL NOT use my age as an excuse). I’ll just have to figure out the monies because I really do want to go.

I went to the gym tonight and had a good workout. I pushed myself pretty hard. Did a lower body workout. I sure hope my legs don't hurt me on Monday...that's the risk I take going to the gym. I'm planning on working my upper body tomorrow night. I like going on Saturday night because I can workout in the weight room. The last time I was there I had a really good looking guy "spot" for me.

Life goes on! More later!

More on Memory

2011-02-18T06:16:00.000-08:00

I'm realizing that my diet needs a drastic change so am looking at what I should be eating and what I am eating....I think that due to my yoyo dieting (gaining and losing weight) over the years I first need to adjust my metabolism.

Per Jillian I need to do the following:
" What you'll need to do is the exact opposite of what we call shocking the metabolism; you have to allow your body time to adapt to a new metabolic set point — by being consistent, you'll force your body to adapt.

Okay, here's the game plan: First, set your daily caloric intake at 12 calories per pound of body weight. (For example, my weight is 217; 217 x 12 = 2,604 calories a day.) Then stick like glue to that calorie allowance for at least one to two months, depending on your metabolism. This will allow your body time to readjust your metabolic set point accordingly."

I know that 2600 calories a day sounds like a lot..but not if I eat the right foods...I'm not sure how many calories a day I am eating right now..but truthfully it's probably more. So here's MY plan..
First I have to start tracking how many calories I consuming a day..
(One step at a time for me)

Also I found this article this morning as a reminder of WHAT I should be eating and if it helps my memory all the better!

Get a Memory Boost From Food
Worried about declining memory and brain health? Feed your brain memory food to help improve your cognition.
By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
You exercise your body and your mind with regular workouts and challenges like sudoku and crossword puzzles. You learn memory tips and tricks to improve recall, and teach your brain new things all in an effort to boost mental fitness. But don't forget what your brain really needs to help keep memory strong — memory food.

Memory Boost: How Food Supports Your Brain
Your entire body needs the right nutrients to keep it healthy, and your brain is no exception. Your brain benefits from a variety of nutrients, including fats, proteins, vitamins, and sugars, to help keep it sharp, offer protection against cell damage, and help it function properly. What’s more, the right foods also can provide the perfect fuel to improve memory.
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Health Benefits of Smart Nutrition
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Memory Boost: Build a Diet With Memory Foods
Here are the nutrients that can give your brain a memory boost:

Unsaturated fatty acids. These healthy fats can help reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and are found in foods like olive and sesame oil, avocados, peanuts, walnuts, and pecans.

Omega-3 fatty acids. These fatty acids also help protect your brain from dementia and improve your memory. They’re found in fatty fish that swim in cold water, like trout, mackerel, and salmon.

Brightly colored fruits. Give yourself a memory boost with dark berries that help keep blood vessels in the brain clear and protect brain cells from damage. Eat fruits like blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries. Blueberries and similar foods have been shown to actually reverse age-related memory shortfalls in humans and animals. Oranges, cherries, plums, and red grapes are also great memory food.

Leafy and colorful vegetables. Vegetables also protect the brain from damage and deteriorating memory, so eat lots of bright greens in the form of broccoli, spinach, kale, sprouts, bell peppers, and asparagus. Eggplant, corn, and even onions are also good memory food veggies.

Essential vitamins. Vitamin E, C, B12, and folic acid are belong in a brain-healthy diet to improve memory. A diet rich in a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, as well as legumes (like beans), can provide you with plenty of vitamins for a good memory boost. But you may also want to consider taking a supplement to make sure you get all of the vitamins you need.

Glucose. Your body needs glucose for energy, and studies have shown that a little bit of natural sugar can help boost memory and cognitive function — just don't feast on high-fat cakes or processed foods, which can slow down the energy glucose offers your brain.

Whole grains. Eat whole-wheat breads, pastas, and brown rice to give your brain energy to improve memory and also maintain heart health.
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Most of this I already eat now but it does me good to have a reminder now and then.

Need to Improve my Memory

2011-02-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

I've started back on my French lessons..the problem is I have forgotten most of what I had learned a couple of years ago when I started. I have the Berlitz tapes (they are really old) but my tape player is giving me trouble...but at least I have the books. I do have several friends that speak French but they lose me everytime because of my memory..so I'm looking into finding ways to improve my memory. I found the following article that gives some good tips.

10 Tips to Improve Your Memory

Try the ideas on this memory tip list to give yourself a brain boost.
By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

Having trouble remembering appointments, items you need at the grocery store, or where you put your keys? Everyone has moments when something slips their mind. If this has been happening to you with increasing frequency, try doing a few easy brain exercises each day to help improve memory.

Luckily, mental workouts can be just as effective for your brain as physical workouts are for your body.
Memory Tip: 10 Ways to Improve Memory
Start with the first tip and then add one more idea each day to help improve your memory:

1. Focus on what you're trying to remember. Take time to think about what you need to remember, whether it's a list of names, chores, or items to buy. Spending a few moments actively processing your thoughts can make it easier to recall what you need to remember in the future.

2. Link your list. Try to remember several things or ideas at once by linking them together in your mind. If you want to memorize your grocery list, for instance, connect the items you need together with a specific image or action in your head. Imagine you're in your laundry room holding a container of detergent, then walk into your kitchen to get some bread and milk, then move to the bathroom to replenish the toilet paper. ****I guess who ever wrote this doesn't realize that I can go to a room and not remember WHY I'm there...LOL

3. Personalize your list. Organize lists into short, manageable sections, and try to connect items to something that's easier for you to remember. Improve memory by linking lists of numbers, for example, to personally relevant dates like your birthday or interesting historical dates.

4. Create a visual image. If you're trying to remember someone's name, visualize an object that will help remind you in the future. Think of summer for a woman named June or a cat for someone named Catherine.

5. Create an acronym. Train your brain to remember items in a specific sequence by creating a word to represent the objects. Try using the first letter of each item on your shopping list to form a word. For instance, MOST can stand for milk, oranges, soap, toilet paper. *** This may work for some but I can never remember what acronym I gave it. I don't need more to remember.

6. Use all of your senses to help improve memory. Afraid you're going to forget your next hair appointment or dinner with a friend? Verbally list your appointments out loud and then think about the softness of your hair after a salon visit and the aroma of the food at your favorite restaurant to help solidify the dates in your mind.

7. Write it down. Even if you don't actually use your list or a note to remind you of an appointment, simply writing the information down will help your brain retain it.

8. Create a rhyme. How did you learn the alphabet or the number of days in each month when you were little? You probably learned them with the help of a song or rhyme. Try doing the same thing with names, appointments, and lists. ****Again I don't need MORE to remember!!!!! I have never been able to remember the words to songs..even nursery rhymes I always got wrong!

9. Make it manageable. Organize a long list into shorter lists that are easier to remember. Instead of trying to remember a dozen different items, create four mini-lists with only three things you need to remember from each.

10. Be positive. Don't doubt yourself — our brains can often do more than we realize. Regularly practice these tips to help improve memory, and you'll be amazed by how much more you can remember.

Memory Tip: 4 Brain Exercises
There are a number of other ways you can strengthen your memory. Try these strategies and exercises to keep your brain and memory sharp:

1. Be organized. Keep lists and notes, and maintain an appointment book.

2. Challenge your mind and body. Try new physical and mental activities like yoga, ballroom dancing, tai chi, or chess.

3. Play mind games. Do crossword puzzles, read as much as possible, and play games like Scrabble or sudoku.

4. Keep yourself guessing. Stimulate your brain by taking an unusual route to work or by using your opposite hand to do simple activities like placing your key in the door, putting on makeup, stirring your food, or brushing your teeth. ****I don't think so...I'm confused enough without adding to it!

Forgetting things can make you feel flustered and disorganized. But regular workouts for your mind can improve memory and boost your overall brain power. Once you figure out which memory tips work best for you, it’s possible that you’ll never forget a name, birthday, or that last item on your grocery list ever again.
Learn more in the Everyday Health Healthy Living Center.

Food for thought today!

2011-02-16T05:58:00.000-08:00

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be. ~Robert Brault,

My right upper arm

2011-02-15T06:37:00.000-08:00

is sore today...I did get outside yesterday and I raked my yard for 4 hrs. It whooped my butt! The sad thing is I only got about 1/4 of my yard done..I did get the back yard and part of the side yard done and it looks so "pruty". I'm surprised that it's my arm is sore and not my legs...there was a lot of bending over and squats going on as I picked up all the piles of leaves and pinestraw..I put the pinestraw around my trees in the front yard which saves me monies (and who isn't all about saving monies these days) because I don't have to go and buy pinestraw. It's not as clean as the pinestraw that you buy but hey it works. I used to spend lots of time on my yard when Lar was alive but in the past 8 years I have really let it go.

I'm thinking with the cost of gas that I might buy this reel mower.
Home Depot has them for $139. It would be good exercise for me and I couldn't use the excuse that I don't have money for gas this week.
This one has a catcher which I like. There are cheaper ones but I like this one. I remember when my daughter was little I lived in an apartment building where I maintained the yard for money off my rent and I only had a reel mower then (of course this was over 20 years ago) and the yard was on a hill. It was work but I did it and the yard looked good.
The only thing that concerns me is that I have a lot of pine cones and those stupid little Sweetgum balls in my yard and I'm not sure that the blades won't be stuck on them all the time. I guess this will give me the incentive to make sure I finish with the raking of the yard.

I feel like I had a pretty good weekend. I've got 3 hikes lined up for Feb 28, Mar 6 & Mar 20th with my AOC group. Not sure if I'm going to end up doing all 3 but for sure I'm going to do the one on the 28th, it is on a Monday and if there is time we will visit an old cemetery (which I love doing..I know weird). I'm trying to talk some of my Thus friends on doing the one on the 6th because it's close. So far no takers on this one..They'll walk at a park with me but no hiking..

I've got my lunch and my gym bag packed for the day. I've gotten my daily read of Jack Sh*t and am ready to go to work.

More later!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

I've never been one to "celebrate" Valentine's Day. I do like Valentine's Day because I know that it means Spring is just around the corner. My Daffodils and Crocus's are popping through the ground and before you know it I will have flowers. I can see out my window here in the office that it is a beautiful day. The sun is shining. I love this time of year!

I went for my Sunday walk at the park yesterday with two of my friends. It was a leisurely walk with lots of talking and laughing but we did take the more strenuous route (with all the hills) so I'm not going to feel guilty about not pushing myself. I needed the time with my friends! They talked me into having a little get together next Saturday night at my house to break in my fire pit that I got for Christmas. I was going to have one a couple of weeks ago but then we got the BIG snowstorm and I cancelled.

I keep telling myself that I need to get the yard raked and then I go out and I'm too cold so I come right back into the house and then do nothing. I did this last weekend and yesterday. So today I'm going to bundle up and see if I can at least get the back yard done..That's where we will be having the "get together". No excuses for me today..

More later!

Age!

2011-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

Truthfully I've never had a problem with my age until this year...Getting older has not bothered me and I've always been one to not be afraid to tell how old I am. I know that most women freak when they turn 50 years old..I didn't!!! I don't know what it is about turning 60 that has got me obsessing about age.

I don't know how I'm suppose to dress or act now that I am a "senior citizen"..And WHY it all makes a difference! .I don't feel "OLD" most of the time unless I stop and think about it or I look at myself in mirror and see all the wrinkles and how much older I look now than I did just a year ago and I don't know WHY I aged so fast..It's scary when I look down at my hands and see old hands or I see the age spots appearing on my arms. I keep telling myself they are just BIG freckles and believe me I have always had a lot of freckles (they go with the red hair)...Then I worry about whether I'm looking like one of those "old ladies" that are trying to look young.

I spoke to my Mom who is in her 80 tonight (my weekly call to her) in Wyoming. She was the most active person I've ever known until about 5 years ago, and know she uses a walker and has short term memory loss due. She has always been a "Character"..
In fact my sister who checks on her daily posted this story on Face book:
I went over to my Moms and she didn't have her glasses on. When I asked where her glasses were, she said, "Oh! I wear glasses? I was seeing just fine until you told me I wear glasses."

This is how I feel about being old...I feel fine until I'm reminded that I'm old!!!

I worry that I shouldn't dye my hair so dark but when I've tried lighter colors in the past I've hated it...I felt drab and ugly..Let me just say that my hairdresser who I go to to get my hair cut loves the color that I dye my hair...and I do get a lot of compliments from strangers telling me they love the color. I've always been the type to go for bright and colorful colors..I love being different from everyone else..not that I want to stand out but hey if you have it "flaunt" it. At least I'm not doing the "Flaming Red" hair anymore..but I do still drive a "Raspberry" (pink) color truck.

I went by the blogging name of Sexy Sue for years and just changed it to Lady Sue this past year because I'm uncomfortable with being Sexy right now...it's hard to be sexy when you weigh over 200 pounds and are 60 years old.

I think that's one of the reasons I've been lurking at other blogs, trying to find if there are any other 60+ olds out there going through the same thing I am. I do find a lot of 50 year olds, which is something I didn't find 5 years ago when I was blogging and I do enjoy their blogs..But..there's a big difference from being in your 50's and being in your 60's. I know 5 years ago I didn't have any of these worries. I figured that if people didn't like how I looked or how I acted they didn't have to look at me. I now worry that I will embarrass my family..although I really think I've broken them in years ago to expect the unexpected from me. The stories they tell.....Not going there!

Not sure where I'm going with this blog..just something that is bothering me so thought if I put it in writing I could get myself over the obsessing...Not sure it worked! LOL
I'm off to bed...More later!

Looking for Motivation

2011-02-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

I've spent all my time this morning "lurking" at other blogs looking for motivation and now I don't have time to blog myself...OH NO! I can't believe how fast time goes when you are having fun!

I've added two new sites and hopefully friends (even if they don't know it) to my blog. Janelle @ Simply Healthy and Jane @ Jane Is Weighing In.

I'm off work tomorrow and am planning on going to the park for a nice walk with friends (hopefully)..
For now I've got my gym bag and lunch packed and am off to work..Fun Fun!

More Later

Motivation?

2011-02-09T06:59:00.000-08:00

I need to get myself together and start pushing to do the things I know I need to. I've been letting myself ride on exercise and eating healthy. Just can't seem to push myself to the point I need to. I went to the gym last night but used the excuse that there were too many people there to really push myself. I didn't give into the "inner child" who was pouting because there wasn't a treadmill or elliptical available. I did 20 mins on the bike instead..I hate the bike..it hurts my a$$...not good on the hymroids (MITN)..and then although I should have done lower body, I did upper body instead. I haven't done lower body forever...I hate leg workouts..I love the feeling of being strong by pushing my weights up on upper body...
This morning I drugged myself out of bed and did my own Ab workout...
This is the same workout I did last week...but then I didn't do anything else the rest of the week..I need to break this routine and get in more days of exercise.
The only exercise I get at work is going up and down the stairs to check on Princess Val.. Most of the day I sit and read my book.
Need to go and get ready for work...
Took my supplements this morning!
Got my gym bag packed.
Got my soup for lunch ready.
More Later

It's the little things in life that matter!

2011-02-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

Pretty good day so far. I got up first thing this morning, put on my Mountain Serenity CD and did my AB workout and some nice relaxing stretches. I love this CD..it has birds chirping and waterfalls in the background of flute music. I bought it years ago and forgot all about it..

Then I took my supplements/vitamins. I bought this pillbox which has really helped me in remembering to take them.
This has been one of my better buys lately..And it was cheap!

I had an egg with spinach and a cup of tea for breakfast (sorry no picture I ate it before I thought of getting my cell phone out to take one).
It was good. I did use one whole egg and one egg white and some spinach that is getting wilted..

I went to the gym last night and did a mile on the treadmill and then worked my upper body to failure. It felt good. I even got one of the guys to spot me so I could up my weights on the bench press. I may not be losing weight but I will definitely reshape my body and get strong.
I'll probably be the OLDEST STRONG FAT Lady around the gym soon...

Off to work...More later!

Work in progress!

2011-02-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

"All the scars of my life, both physical and emotional, are but brush strokes on the masterpiece that is me. I am a work in progress" Darkwroth

I made it through Monday which was Lar's B'day. Sometimes it feel like just yesterday he was here with me and then days like Monday it feels like forever ago that he was able to hold me in his arms. Nine years is just a drop in the bucket unless you are living them without the one you love. I know that I will always miss him and that life does go on for me so I need to keep focused on making myself the best that I can. I will give myself a little time to grieve because I've found that when I bury those feelings they only grow bigger.

Sunday I went for a walk in the park with my friend Tee. It was such a beautiful sunny day. I had asked a few of my friends but Tee was the only one who made it. She and I are planning on making it a weekly (Sunday) thing. We are both about the same size and both of us love the outdoors. She walks a little slower than me so I didn't have to worry about slowing her down. Tee has a teenage daughter that she has to do a lot of running around for so she doesn't get much time for herself. She does go the the same gym as I do (that's where we met years ago) but she goes at a different time than I do and she does the step class (which I don't). I would like to include a couple more of our friends and make this more social. I've realized that I've been keeping myself away from my friends because of my money situation. I hate not having the monies to do all the things they do..but Tee is pretty much in the same situation so we will find things that we can afford to do...her biggest problem right now is finding time for herself. Her daughter will be graduation from high school this year so she has big plans on what she will do after her daughter leaves for college.

I find that I have good days when I feel that I can accomplish anything and then I have days when all I want to do is fold up into a ball and hide. I've been struggling with the changes I feel with aging. I know that 60 years old isn't all that old but some days my body tells me that it is. When I look in the mirror I can see the changes..I guess we always expect to look young (or at least dream that we will)...I just have to find a way to live with these changes...Everything seems to be going south on me...I'm afraid of what I will look like when (not if) I do lose weight..what if all this sagging skin only gets worse? I guess the only way to find out is to do it.

Do not worry about Tomorrow.
For Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each Day has enough troubles of it's own.
After All Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday.

More later I'm off to work!

Jeans

2011-01-29T06:48:00.000-08:00

So I've been wearing these baggy stretchy pants (on the right) because I thought they looked more "age appropriate" and I also thought they were more comfortable than my regular jeans that got too tight on me. With my reflux I have to be careful not to wear tight clothes around my stomach because it causes the acids to back up on me and I cough more than I normally do. The thing is with these pants I feel sloppy and fat.

The other day I found these stretchy jeans (in the same size) at WalMart on sale (on the left) which are form fitting. I love them but am worried that at my age I should be wearing the baggy pants. With these pants I find myself holding in my stomach and standing up straighter. I love the way the feel on my legs. They do have a stretch waistband so they are not tight on my stomach (YAY) so no more reflux than usual...

So I decided to take a picture (with my cell phone) of me in both with everything the same except the pants to compare and see which one I feel looks better. I really tried to get the same position and I think I got close but WOW what a difference. I don't care if it isn't "age appropriate" to wear the tighter (I like to call them my skinny jeans) ones and I want to buy another pair in blue jean color. I think it's important to feel good about what you are wearing. (I like my calves in the tighter pants)...
More Later

Not giving up

2011-01-28T07:01:00.000-08:00

just haven't been able to organize my mind enough to sit down and actually type up a blog. When I'm in my truck I can think of all kinds of things (not boring) to write but when I sit down to my computer it's all gone..my mind is blank or there is so much jumbled in there that I can't get a coherent sentence out.

I still haven't gone to the doc to check out to see if it is my Thyroid but I have gone to the gym a few times and I did a Abs workout this morning while listening to an old CD that I found..Mountain Serenity...cool music with bird calls and waterfall sounds..very relaxing. I feel better today than I have been. That could be because I've been going to bed early..I've been so cold that it seems the only place I can get warm is in my bed...I do have a tv in my bedroom so I've been watching it in the evenings.

My friend C gave me his old laptop that he had dropped and #1 niece fixed it for me so the plan is for me to take it to work with me and maybe I can come up with some good blogs and post them. We'll see how that works...no promises...I did call the phone company and sign up for DSL service so no more dial up..that should make my life easier?

More later!

I just don't get it!

2011-01-17T08:02:00.000-08:00

Last week I didn't do a bit of exercise...No gym, no TaeBo workout & none of the new workout program.
I was discouraged because the week that I did ALL I gained ...true it was only .5 pounds but come on, here I was sweating my butt off morning and night and I still couldn't even get a .5 pound loss...instead I gained...So when the snowstorm hit I was depressed..couldn't get out to the gym if I wanted too...and I just couldn't find the motivation to pop in the TaeBo workout and definitely didn't want to do the new workout with the dreaded "Inchworm"...So for 3 days I stayed home and did absolutely nothing...just sat around and watched the news on tv...oh yeah I did clean up my spare room the first day of the storm but truthfully that only took me about a half hour and there wasn't all that much "exercise" to it. It felt good knowing the room was clean enough so that IF I had company and they saw it they wouldn't think me a "slob". The 4th day of the storm I did go out and shovel my driveway..that was a workout and it took me 3 hours...but otherwise there was NO exercise all last week....
Anyway I decided that I would weigh myself this morning....a scary thing...I said my little prayer that I didn't gain but at least stayed the same weight...Would you believe I LOST 2 pounds...I just don't get it!

I've been checking into Hypothyroidism....I'm thinking that I might have a thyroid problem...from the article I read it seems that women 60 yrs and older are at the highest risk. What is hypothyroidism?

Hypothyroidism means your thyroid is not making enough thyroid hormone. The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck. It makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy.

Most of the signs are there for me...
weight gain, dry skin & brittle nails, depression, bothered by cold, & memory problems. It's been weird for me that I never had any problem losing weight 5 years ago doing the same things I'm doing now. I noticed my nails about a month ago and figured I wasn't getting enough nutrients in my diet. I've dealt with depression all my life but lately it seems to hit me more often and is harder for me to control. This past summer I noticed that I'm always cold at night...I've always loved going backpacking in the winter more than summer but I just couldn't face the cold this past winter, I figured it was due to the weight I'm carrying but now I'm thinking maybe there is something physically wrong with me...It would be nice if my memory loss is something physical too...it worries me that I have such a hard time remembering things...especially since I love to learn. I know that I'm in line for Alzheimer's and worry about it but knowing that there really isn't anything I can do about that now I just try to live my life to the fullest I can. And to do that I need to be as fit as I can get. There are so many things I still want to do NOW...and my weight is keeping me from doing it...so what is the answer?
Since I don't have health insurance I'm going to check into one of these "minute clinics" to see if they can do the blood test to test for Hypothyroidism. In ways it would be nice to have an answer and know that there is a treatment for it...My #1 niece is on medication for it...so I know it runs in the family...

I did do my new workout this morning...not because I think it's going to help me lose this weight but because I feel better if I exercise...I made a commitment to doing this 12 week workout program and I'm not going to let a little setback stop me from completing it.
As always I go forward...never letting obstacles get in my way...leaping over tall building here...see my cape flying in the sky. LOL

Day 6 of Atlanta Snowstorm

2011-01-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Tip:There's no such thing as failure. There's only feedback. Stop judging yourself & start recognizing it for what it is, an entry point for learning. The truth is, if you're not failing then you're not really reaching & really trying. If you don't like the outcome of a situation, learn from it, make corrections & reap...proach wiser & stronger until you achieve your goals. Success is in big part a matter of attrition. Jullian Michaels on FB

Day 4 the sun is finally shining and I make it to work!

Let it snow....someplace else!

It hasn't been a good past week for me...I'm still having trouble getting motivated and am still not feeling well.
More later!

Why?

2011-01-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

Why is it so easy to get discouraged and so hard to stay motivated?
Still have this headache (might be from too much reading) and achy feeling all over this morning. Didn't do any exercise.
I'm on my way over to a friends (an that all he is "a friend") place maybe he can cheer me up and help me get motivated. He has an old laptop he's giving me. He dropped it and it isn't working so he got a new one instead of getting it fixed. All I have to do is see about getting it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take much to fix. Will let my #1 niece look at it..she's good at that kind of thing.

I like my new look on the blog...but still not in the mood to be witty or insightful..maybe tomorrow will be better.
More later

not feeling good about myself

2011-01-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

I did a no no yesterday and weighed myself.(instead of waiting til Monday)..I was hoping for maybe a .5# loss but instead I've gained .5#..
Not sure what is going on with my body...it might be something medically wrong with me (like a thyroid problem) but since I don't have any medical insurance I won't be going to a doctor to find out. I'll just have to keep trying my own way. I didn't do any workout yesterday because I'm still dealing with a headache and some bowel problems (also being discouraged), still not feeling too good today so didn't workout again this morning. I still have my 3rd workout for this week to do and I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow (my day off) so I can get it done. I will say that if this workout didn't have the dreaded "Inchworm" I would have probably done it no matter how I felt this morning (haha so I tell myself)...

I need an attitude adjustment today...good thing I'm off work tomorrow...We are expecting a big snow storm to come in latter tomorrow so I need to get to the store to buy "whatever" I need in case I get snowed in...LOL...Atlanta is so funny about that...I do have firewood, candles and my books (and 3 headlamps just in case) so I am ready...
More later

Running late AGAIN!

2011-01-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

But I did do my TaeBo (really pushed myself and sweated up a storm..whoohooo), Vitamins & Supplements taken, did my dishes and paid my bills on line so I think I might be forgiven today.

I didn't go to the gym last night.I had tummy problems and a terrific headache but am feeling better this morning so still have my gym bag packed and plan on going tonight.

Having my yummy veggie soup for lunch today again.
No time for words of wisdom today..maybe tomorrow...lol
More later

Not letting my inner voice rule the day!

2011-01-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed and thought about how much I hate the "inchworm" and almost had myself convinced that I couldn't do it today...but I know that if I give into that inner voice today, it will just be that much harder tomorrow. So I got out of bed and did my 2nd day of the new workout. It wasn't easy to get my mind set but by the time I got to the "inchworm" I knew that I would do all 10 of them no matter what.. I Can't let that inner voice control me anymore. I'm determined to make it through the next 4 weeks keeping to my plan. I will do the new workout 3 times a week. I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, if not more. I will get cardio everyday (except my rest day). I know that it won't be easy and there will be lots of excuses that my inner voice will come up with but if I give up on this program then I will fail myself. I know I can do this and I WILL.

I did go to the gym last night after work..almost let the inner voice talk me out of it when I saw all the cars in the parking lot. All the New Year Resolutioners were there in full. I did 20 mins on the treadmill (had to use one of the ones that the incline doesn't work on because they were all busy)..and I did an upper body workout with the weight machines. No way was I going to go into the weight room to work with the free weights..I've got my gym bag packed for tonight!

Added some dark red kidney beans to my homemade veggie soup to take to work with me for lunch. The thing I love about making homemade veggie soup is that I can add something differant to it each day...

So today so far I've done my morning exercise workout, taken my vitamins & supplements, packed my gym bag and lunch and gave myself a pat on the back...Not Bad..
Feeling pretty darn good!
More later!

Running late today!

2011-01-04T07:00:00.001-08:00

I did my TaeBo tape this morning and got all sweaty..took my shower and checked my emails...now I'm out of time for anything else..Good thing I packed my gym bag and lunch last night...
Feeling good today!

Damage Control!

2011-01-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

I've been afraid to weigh myself the last couple of weeks. I just knew with eating the way I have and not getting as much exercise as I should that I was back up to where I was when I began this blog.
So I "bit the bullet" and got on the scale this morning (after making sure I emptied my bladder because we all know that make a big difference...LOL). I did gain but not as much as I thought I had. I weighed in at 215.2 pounds..a 3 pound gain...not good but better than I thought. My goal is to be under 200 by my birthday...

I've done my "new" exercise program this morning. It took me 30 mins, which I'm okay with but as the weeks progress they will take longer..I'm not sure about this but I'm going to give it my "all". I did work up a good sweat doing them even though they are pretty simple exercises..The one I hate the most is the "Inchworm".
Step 1
Starting Position: From a standing position with your feet together or slightly apart, stiffen (“brace”) your abdominal muscles to stabilize your spine. (This I can do)
Step 2
Gently exhale and bend forward from your hips ("hip hinging"), keeping your knees extended (but not locked), and extend your arms in front of your body while slowly lowering your torso towards the floor until you can place your fingers or palms of your hands on the floor in front of your body. Maintaining a flat spine and a soft bend in your knees during this movement is acceptable.
Step 3
Slowly begin to walk your hands forward (6-12” or 12 ½ - 25 cm steps) without moving your feet (your heels will begin to rise off the floor). Continue walking yourself forward until you reach a full-push-up position where your spine, hips and head are level with the floor (plank position).
Step 4
Perform one full push-up (HA), lowering your chest and hips simultaneously to the floor while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards during this downward phase. Continue to lower yourself until your chest or chin touch the floor (No way..if I go all the way I can't get back up). Allow your elbows to flare outwards during the lowering phase.
Step 5
Press upwards through your arms while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards. Continue pressing until the arms fully extend at the elbows. Slowly begin walking your feet forward towards your hands, taking 6-12” steps without moving your hands. Maintain a flat spine throughout and continue walking until your feet are close to your hands.
Step 6
Repeat this movement and continue for 10 – 15 yards (9-13 m).
I never did get a "full" push-up. I thought that I would have more trouble getting down but it was getting back up from the down position that caused me problems..My arms are too short! I always say this and no one ever believes me..LOL. I had to do 10 and by the last one I was moaning.. The only good thing about it was this is the last exercise before cool down. I wanted to quit at 3 but made myself do all 10 just to prove that I could do it. What makes it worse is that my daughter can do this one easy..she makes it look like a "cake walk"...I'll just keep working at it until I get right!

Well enough fun..I'm off to get my hair cut this morning...and of course it looks good today..never fails..but I'm still getting it cut short! Short for me is so much better.. I don't have to mess with it in the morning..gives me more time to do my exercise...hmmmmm!

More later

I have all the tools!

2011-01-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

There is no reason for me not to reach my goal. I have only myself to answer to if I fail (and I hate failure). As this new year begins I'm taking a look at what I need to do to get motivated to get fit and to stay that way once I get there.

I've set a goal to be able to fit into my size 12/14 pants (the ones I've packed away) by my birthday in April. To accomplish this I'm adding a new 12 week workout program (found online with ACE) to what I'm already doing as I feel that I haven't pushed myself as much as I can. Friday night I went over to my daughters and we went through the exercises & cool down stretches. I find that although I am "freakish" strong I am still very out of shape, especially as far as my core/abs and being able to do "floor" exercise (which I hate). We had a lot of laughs because my body just doesn't want to do some of these things. For instance the "Child Pose" which I've never been able to keep my butt down on my heels even when I was doing Pilate's at my "goal" weight. I just have too big of a butt! Today I typed up a workout sheet to help me keep on track for the next 4 weeks. My plan is to do these exercises & stretches 3 times a week in the morning alternating with a couple of days of doing my TaeBo tape. I will treat myself with going to the gym and lifting weights after work. I love feeling strong especially when I'm lifting weights. Like I said I think I'm "freakishly" strong. I can bench press 95-100 pounds.

The pants won't be my only motivation/reward. I've got my sight set on a 4 hr "Wild Edibles" class to learn the basics of identifying, collecting & preparing wild plants. It will also cover poisonous plants to avoid. This is something I've always been interested in but never had a chance to do. My outdoor group is doing this and a hike on my birthday in April but the sign up isn't until the first of March. The class is on a Saturday which I'm suppose to work but I'm promising myself that if I can stay on "plan" then I will take the day off and do this as a reward.

To reach my goal I know that what I really have to get under control is my diet/foods. For the past couple of weeks I've been out of control. Not just eating sweets but constantly putting something in my mouth whether I was hungry or not. I have the knowledge on what I can eat and get healthy. I have lots of cookbooks and am constantly looking for new healthy vegetarian recipes on line. The biggest challenge will to be to get back to eating fresh veggies and stay within my budget of $30-$40 a week for groceries. I know for me it works best if I eat 5 instead of 3 small meals a day. I may not be able to afford the organic foods that I ate when I lost the weight before but I think I can still eat healthy with what I can afford..fresh & frozen veggies are good too.

I know that I get to discouraged when I TRY to keep written track of what I eat and calories but I'm pretty good at reading labels so I don't buy high calorie foods. I do have to watch my portion control. This morning I cleaned out my fridge and threw into my mulch bin all of the left over sweets (from Christmas) which included the rest of the brownies, eggnog fudge, eggnog/cherry/pecan quick bread and mini cheesecakes. I did save the small candy canes which I plan on sucking/eating when I have a craving to eat in between meals.
Hopefully by the time I run out of them I will have this mindless eating under control.

I still get emails from SparkPeople which gives me recipes & motivational articles. Also I check out daily other blogs for motivation. My daughter is trying to lose weight too and is doing the new workout also. So we will give each other motivation.

I can't think of anything else I need or could use (except more money) to get to my goal.

Choices

2010-12-31T07:04:00.000-08:00

As this old year ends and a new year begins I think about the choices I've made and the choices I need to make in the future.

WORK...I chose to not go back into the office environment and to do what I've been doing most of life and become a Home Health Caregiver. Altho it doesn't pay any where near what I would be getting in the office, for me it's a lot less stressful and something I know I can do. I don't have to worry that my memory will fail me and that I won't be able to learn the new things I needed to in the office.

DATING....I'm choosing Not to go out of my way to find another mate. I've pretty much given up on this one...I tried in the past 5 years but have found that I really like being by myself. I have enough "friends" to keep me company when I feel that I need it. If some day I meet someone that makes me feel right then so be it..until then I'm happy being by myself.

FITNESS...going back to the gym a few months ago was one of the best choices for me that I've made in a long time. It's a stretch some months as far as the money goes but in the long run it is worth it to me. I feel so much better about myself knowing that I can go to the gym and work out. I also have the park, AOC, and TaeBo that I can do...The gym is a treat for myself that I think I deserve and need.
For the New Year I'm thinking about doing a 12 Week Starter Program that http://truth2beingfit.com/ mentioned in her blog yesterday. I think I've talked my Daughter into doing it with me. This will be in addition to the gym and my other activities..the only problem I can foresee is that I HATE floor exercises...but if I'm going to commit to getting back into shape this year then I going to have to do some things that I don't like...the good thing is that starting out it's only 3 days a week...I can do it in the morning before going to work right after getting up. No promises on this one..but I'm going to at least give it a try. If it's not a good fit for me then I will keep looking for something that is..I don't give up!

Everyday Choices are:
Getting out of bed and facing the day no matter what I'm feeling..
Not over eating or starving myself...either one of these DO NOT Work! I need to get back into eating 5 small meals a day.
To keep in touch with my friends and family (it's so easy for me to hide away in my house with a good book ALL of the time).
To blog no matter even if I'm not having a good day or staying on plan!

I didn't go to the gym last night, I ended up staying with Princess Val while her Dad went out with some friends..PV wasn't feeling well and we decided she didn't need to go out. Any way I earned a few extra dollars and this morning I was thinking of what I could spend those extra dollars on. My choices were
(a) a new pair of pants/jeans (I'm down to only 3 pairs that I can wear comfortably) (b) extra groceries or (c) get my hair cut (it's out of control and I hate looking at it in the mirror everyday...I could just chop it off myself)... I decided on C to get my hair cut..I really don't want to spend more money on clothes that I won't be wearing after I lose weight...(talk about motivation) and I already have money set aside for groceries so I called my hairdresser/friend who I haven't been to in 3 months and made an appt for Monday (my day off)...It was good to talk to her and I'm excited to see her. I know I will feel better about myself after I get this mess my head trimmed up.

Now I'm off to work...More later
Happy New Year!

It's Thursday and I'm so not in the mood!

2010-12-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

Yes I did make it to the gym last night. I did the treadmill for 1 mile and then did a leg workout. I know that I need to up my cardio but my right foot was cramping..I haven't been taking my supplements and I can tell it.

So today is a new day and I've already eaten my oatmeal/cranberries and taken my supplements. Now all I have to do is pack my bag for the gym and figure out what I'm going to have for lunch. I haven't been grocery shopping for me in 2 weeks (I did go last week and shop for Xmas Eve dinner and Holiday snacks) and my healthy choices are getting limited..no fresh veggies in the fridge..but I do still have the last of the pizza I had the other night (at least it's spinach & mushroom) and a couple of clematis's (which I absolutely love). I hate grocery shopping when I've got a limited amount of money. As usual It will be a tight month as far as money goes..but no sense in moaning about it..that's just my life anymore.

I wish I could get myself out of this mood I'm in today...I feel like the other shoe needs to drop...not sure what that really means.

I wish

2010-12-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

I could say that I've been good this past week...but truthfully I've been VERY bad...I went to the gym only once..I didn't do TaeBo at all and I've eaten everything that I shouldn't have...LOTS and LOTS of sweets!

I feel like sh*t! My reflux is out of control..this from eating so much sugar..I'm coughing up a lung all the time (from the reflux)..eating tons of Tums for heartburn...and I have a constant headache (from the sugar again and not enough veggies)...

I did fix the ham ring for the kids on Xmas Eve and didn't eat it but had some ham left over and added it to my bean soup on Christmas Day...big mistake..one of the reasons I don't eat meat is that it doesn't like me...gives me diarrhea...well I spent most of Saturday night & Sunday morning on the toilet. still dealing with that problem some...it comes and goes... At least I'm getting cleaned out...LOL..

I still have sweets left in the house..I know that I should just throw it out..I did give most of what I made away but then my niece gave me a big tray that she had made up..she's going to school to be a chef...I've pretty much ate everything off that tray and keep telling myself that she went to all the trouble to make it for me I should just enjoy it (BTW she is very very skinny....doesn't have to worry about EVER gaining weight and eats like a pig). I'm not sure what happened to my Will Power this past week...It Totally disappeared...

I had my bag packed for the gym yesterday but could feel another attack of the diarrhea hitting me so I came home instead...and once I'm home that's where I stay...I fixed the frozen Spinach & Mushroom pizza that has been in my freezer for awhile and instead of only eating one piece I ate two! I felt so stuffed afterwards!
At least I put the rest of it away in the fridge so I wouldn't be tempted later in the evening..I hate cold pizza!

I should be able to get back on track with my exercise today (I hope)...I miss the gym when i don't go but for some reason I've been giving into the inner voice a lot lately...My bag is still packed...I'm fixing veggie soup for lunch and trying to get my head back into the game...

I'm afraid to weigh myself but will do it before the end of the year...I promise! I know from how my clothes feel that I'm probably right back where I started a couple of months ago...I will not let this set back stop me though...I'll just start over again...and I'm not going to wait for the New Year!

A White Christmas in Georgia!

2010-12-26T07:24:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2010

Being from Wyoming and Colorado I grew up with snow on Christmas but I moved here to Georgia in 1986 and have probably seen snow on Christmas here maybe once. I got that good feeling inside me looking out the window this morning, mostly because I knew that I didn't have to go out and drive in it. I'm off work today and tomorrow so I plan on enjoying this gift to the max.

Last night I built a fire in the fireplace and watched a couple of old movies I had and thought about Larry and some of the good times we had together.

Christmas Blizzard 1982

Christmas Eve 1982 Lar, Robbi, I and our dog Charlie were living in Lakewood Colorado and we had a blizzard. The next morning I got out and shoveled the walk so Lar could come outside. Being from N. Dakota he loved snow, but being in a wheelchair, it was hard for him to get around in snow. One of the reasons we chose Georgia to move to..we thought it would be easier in the winter. I know the picture is blurry but you can at least get an idea of how much snow we had. This is one of my favorite memories! I couldn't believe he came outdoors without his shirt..but he had an inner furnace those days and never seemed to get cold..he would drive his car with the heater blasting and his window down..Did I say that he loved snow! (at least Robbi dressed warm..yes those are socks on her hands..best mittens ever). Later on that day Lar's best friend Warren came over and we had a snowball fight in the house...Crazy! Lots of Good Memories!

My life now is so quiet compared to when Lar was alive. The thing I love most about him was that you never knew what was going to happen. Each day was an "adventure" with him. There were no "rules"! He was an "one of a Kind of guy" and I miss him as much today as I did 7 years ago when he died. He will always be in my heart!
Altho I miss him I know he wouldn't want me to "mourn" him..he would want me to get out there and live life..which is what I try to do.

I'm off to build another fire in my fireplace, relax with a glass of wine and a good book! My kind of snowy day..no adventures for me today!

More later! Oh yeah...Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!

I feel so Righteous!

2010-12-23T06:40:00.000-08:00

I went to the gym last night and there was hardly anyone there....It felt like a Saturday night at the gym..I guess everyone is out doing their last minute Christmas Shopping. That is one advantage to having very little money to spend, It doesn't take long to do your shopping.

I've got all my presents (what there is of them) wrapped and ready to give out tomorrow night. I've got most of my meal planned (I'm cooking) and even though I don't eat meat, I'm fixing my kids favorite Ham Ring with Cheese Sauce (for me I'm fixing the little salmon filled pretzels that I came up with a couple of weeks ago)....

I'm not working tomorrow so I will have the whole day off to finish cleaning my house before the kids come over for the annual Christmas Eve get together. This is a good way for all of us to get together and enjoy watching the kids unwrap Christmas presents. But first we torture them by making them eat a dinner and then the kids read the the Story about Jesus being born on Christmas. We started this when about 13 years ago and it is now tradition. I think Traditions are good!

For today..I've got my gym bag packed and my Wild Rice & Mushroom soup all ready to take with me.
Not sure that I will actually go to the gym but if I have my bag with me that will be one less excuse I can use.

For now that's all I've got..so more later!

My Christmas list!

2010-12-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

OK there are material things I want for Christmas (like a digital camera and a fire pit) but the things I really NEED are:
Willpower to get off sugar totally (again) and to stay off from it. I'm so addicted to sugar all it takes is one taste and then I crave it all the time. I've tried the substitutes, they either give me diarrhea, are too costly or don't satisfy my need. Honey comes the closest and I do use it in somethings.

Core Strength.. I find myself slouching all the time and I am constantly reminding myself to pull my shoulders back and sit up straight. It feels good to stretch out my back by sitting up straight and I'm not sure why I end up slouching. I see myself in pictures and I realize that I'm slouching and it makes me look all that much fatter.
When I stand or sit straight I actually look and feel thinner.

Positive Self Image... enough said!

Commitment...and not to the loony bin..I need to find the commitment that I had in 2003 to lose this weight and get myself fit. It was hard work but I did it then and I know I can do it again.

A short list (I'm not greedy) but I so wish I could wake up in the morning and find all of them in my life!

Wait a minute!!!! I know that somewhere in me I have ALL of these things already. I just have to dig deep, take them out of storage, dust them off and use them....

Fears Conquered!

2010-12-16T06:23:00.000-08:00

Ok..I made it through the hike on Sunday and actually had a really good time.
As for my fears..well here's the list
You'll be the fattest person on the hike.... I was but it didn't seem to bother anyone else so I didn't let it bother me.

You're too out of shape to hike....Although I was really slow going uphill, I kept up with the group on the flats and downhills. We climbed up to the top of the mountain and then back down while it was snowing..
When we started there was just a little snow on the ground but by the time we got back to the cars there was at least 3 inches of snow. The temp was in the low 20's.

You're too old to hike ...Again I was the oldest in the group..but not too old to hike. There were 14 people signed up for this hike. 5 of us showed. The snow flurries scared most people off. Dirk & Peggy are in their 50's, Bill turned 59 on Sunday (I think going for a hike is a great way to celebrate your 59th birthday) and Dunkir (from India) was in his late 30's ...It was a fun group.

You'll wet yourself because your bladder can't wait anymore...used the restroom at the beginning of the hike and never even thought about it after that.

You'll get leg cramps....although I could feel my quads tightening up after about 2 hrs of climbing the hills I never got a leg cramp, I took my calcium and vitamin D before I left to go on the hike.

You won't be able to climb the hills...I just took it slow and steady uphill (and believe me there were a lot of them since we climbed to the top of the mountain) and my trekking poles really helped. I kept telling the others to go ahead and I would meet them at the top because I am so slow but they chose to pretty much stay with me.. We were ALL enjoying the hike and company too much.

You're going to make a fool out of yourself....Didn't happen

You're going to fail (AGAIN)... Didn't happen!

So again I wonder why I put myself through the self doubts before I do something.

Monday night I went and got re certified for my CPR/AED and I left my cell phone at the fire station where we did the training. Didn't realize it until the next morning. It's weird how I've come to depend on having my phone with me while driving anywhere. I had to go 90 miles just to pick it up so was late to work. TG I have an understanding client. I ended up working late so didn't make it to the gym on Tuesday night.

Last night Atlanta had an ice storm so I chose to come straight home from work rather than push my luck and go to the gym then drive home later. Good thing too...I had just gotten home (which took me about a half hour longer than usual) and they close the road behind my house (the road I take to come home). It has a steep hill with a curve. When I drove it, I geared down, put on my flashers and took it really slow but I still slid most of the way down the hill. I could see the police lights from my kitchen window when I got home so I knew that they had closed it. There were a lot of accidents on the roads last night due to icy roads.
What I don't understand is how it can rain when it's below freezing...It's suppose to snow. I will take snow any day over ICE...I'm lucky that I don't have to go to work until after 10 am so hopefully by then the roads will be in good shape..The weather is suppose to warm up today.

Since I haven't been to the gym for a while, I woke up this morning and decided to get off my fat butt and do my TaeBo tape. My inner voice tried to tell me it's too cold but I didn't listen. I always feel better if I get my body to moving. I've still got my gym bag packed and in the truck but will wait to see if I go tonight or not.

Eating is out of control...I know that I need to get it under control but for some reason I just can't get my head into it right now. Lot's of sweets! I'm afraid to weigh myself...I think my scale is broken (LOL)..I know that I will NOT lose the weight until I can get portion control and the sweets out of my life, just not right now..PLEASE.

One day at a time!

Why do I do this to myself?

2010-12-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

I'm going on a hike today with the AOC (Atlanta Outdoor Club) and as usual I'm nervous about it. I didn't sleep well and I had a dream about going on a hike, kind of like the dream you have where you go back to high school and can't remember your locker combination...this one I get to the meet up and I go to grab my daypack but all that is in it is my sleeping bag..so I leave it and go grab my poles and all I can find is my walking stick, which I figure will work...as I am walking it turns into a broom..that's just the parts that I can remember..

Now don't get me wrong..I love hiking..it's just that I worry so much that I won't be able to do it...that I'll be late getting to the meet up. (I've been there before but it's on the other side of town) or that I will slow everyone up or I will fall and won't be able to get up...I know it's dumb to worry about it but I just can't seem to stop.

I so want to get back into hiking but I have all these negative thoughts going through my mind:
You'll be the fattest person on the hike
You're too out of shape to hike
You're too old to hike
You'll wet yourself because your bladder can't wait anymore
You'll get leg cramps
You won't be able to climb the hills
You're going to make a fool out of yourself
You're going to fail (AGAIN)...

OK..I've got to conquer those fears and JUST DO IT... and if any of my fears are realized I will live with that too...but if I don't try then I will Fail myself...
More Later

Christmas Temptation!

2010-12-09T19:50:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Covered Cherries! OMG!...I've been patting myself on my back because every time I go to the store I've passed up buying any CCC...This has always been one of my biggest downfalls in life. I could eat a whole box by myself in one sitting.

I think my obsession with CCC started when I was a kid. I grew up very poor. My Mom was a single mother with four kids...Not easy in the 50's & 60's...We were on welfare in a small town. I have to say this for my Mom..she did her best..We always had a Christmas! My Mom's one weakness was CCC...she loved them..but when you have 4 kids who also loved any thing sweet any time there were CCC in the house, she was lucky if she got even one....So she would buy herself a box at Christmas and hide it...I don't know if my siblings knew that she did this..but I knew...usually because she sent me out to buy them...I would dream about those CCC...I would have traded my toys for a box...And probably for that reason CCC & Christmas seem to go together for me..I never crave them any other time...oh If I see them at the store I think to myself it would be nice to have a box..but I can pass them up without too much trouble.

Another funny CCC story is one that happened when my daughter was a teen and we had just moved to Atlanta. I had bought a box of CCC and brought them home..That box of CCC hardly made it through the door before it was devoured (not just by me)...So I figured it would be a good present if I bought each of us our own box and wrap it up and put it under the tree...Well, as Christmas got closer, I noticed that there were a lot more than the three boxes that I had put there in the same shape...It seems that Robbi, her Boyfriend & Larry had the same idea...When we opened the boxes on Christmas morn there were 16 boxes of CCC...Now you think this would have cured me of my CCC obsession..(and truthfully it did for a couple of years) but this year it seems to be in full force...

But as I said I've been doing real good restraining myself, reminding myself that all that sugar tears up my stomach...makes me cough and I REALLY don't need it..also I can use the money on something else...

So tonight I stopped over to my daughters for (supposedly) a moment...(it actually ended up longer) and my SIL tries to give me a box of CCC..it seems like there was sale and he bought 4 boxes...NOW you can be proud of me...because I said NO...I really wanted to say YES, YES & Yes....but I know me I couldn't just eat one piece of candy I would end up eating that whole box (probably in my truck on my way home).

One thing that helped me control myself is that I signed up for a hike on Sunday and I've got to stay Totally away from ALL sugars this next 3 days or I will end up coughing and with heartburn..and I hate that..

But I'm determined that the Christmas Temptation will not win this year!

Wish me Luck because it seems that they (CCC) are everywhere!

Christmas Wishes!

2010-12-09T06:46:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer in that although life can be hard for me, there is always some good in my life too.

As I sat at my friend's house last night drinking a glass of wine, visiting with 2 of my good friends, we were discussing another friend who lost her Father a couple of months ago and how she is having such a hard time dealing with it. I feel for this friend and wish I could give her some words that would make it all better for her. This time of season seems like it is so much harder to deal with loss.

I lost my son in November 1978 and I remember that 1st Christmas without him. I was lucky that I had my daughter and niece to put my focus on. I had no money that year but I had a sewing machine and a bag of material that had been given to me. So I made the girls pj's & nightgowns and for their dolls I made outfits with the scraps of material. Some friends gave me an old wagon that I repainted for my daughter. My daughter was only five years old that Christmas and she loved the wagon and played with her doll and clothes for a long time. Focusing on what I did have and keeping busy got me through that Christmas...I guess what I'm trying to say here is that although it was a hard Christmas for me, it also holds good memories. Life is like that! It will hand you the hard times but also give you the good if you will only reach out and take it.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I DON'T have I forget what I DO have. The material things seem to override all the other things in our lives. Right now, this morning, if I could be given One wish for Christmas, I wouldn't wish for money (although that would be nice to have)...I would wish that my friend and all the other's like her could find peace within themselves.

I look around at my family and friends and think how Lucky I am to have them. They are supportive of me and accept me just as I am (not always an easy thing). My Christmas wish for each of them is that they can look for the good in their lives and only find happiness.

On the Positive Side: Although I couldn't go to the gym last, I did do my TaeBo workout at home in the morning before going to work (I'll be able to go the gym tonight). Also I worked a couple of hours extra Tues night while Val's Dad went out to an event and got paid extra monies and he's asked me if I could stay extra on Friday night also. This gives me money to spend on Christmas gifts I wouldn't otherwise be able to afford this year. All is Good!

In This Topsy Turvy World

2010-12-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

some times all it takes is knowing that you aren't alone..thanks to Grump and her comments on my last blog!

I woke up this morning thinking to myself.."I don't know why I keep struggling with this when I know I can't do it...I have no will power when it comes to food...I'm going to be busy this week and I won't get any exercise so I'll probably just put back on the weight that's taken me this long to take off...So why keep trying! Why don't I just Accept that I'm destined to be "Old and Fat"...Talk about feeling sorry for myself!!!

Well...thanks to Grump who got me going this morning I'm not going to Accept it. I deserve to be "fit & healthy" I want to feel good about myself..It's when I stop caring that I defeat Myself! One thing that can be said about me is that I'm not a Quitter... What I really want to defeat is this feeling that I don't deserve to be what I know I can be..I just wish that it wasn't so hard to do.

Well, Nothing has ever been easy in my life, from my childhood, to losing a son and a husband...I've struggled with not having money before (you would think I would be good at it by now) and I've been by myself this past 8 years (really missing Larry today)..and will probably be by myself the rest of my life...So do I accept that all the bad things happening in my life and ignore all the good things I do have...NOT ON YOUR (or MY) LIFE!

Sure I don't have extra money to spend on presents for my family this year BUT I will still have Christmas at my house on Christmas Eve..I know that the kids all understand that I'm not be able to give expensive gifts but I do have lots of LOVE to give to each of them. And although Larry isn't with me for Christmas (you would think after 8 years it would get easier), he's in my heart as always.

I'm determined I will get to the gym at least 2X this week. I will eat my soup (which is already made for the week) for lunch. I will not give into this Self pity party! Even if I don't lose weight this week I will NOT give up, there is always next week!

On the Positive Side...My bills are paid for this month..I have groceries in my house..I always have a book I can read..and I have family and friends out there that care about me...what else could a person want in life?

Quick update!

2010-12-04T06:56:00.000-08:00

I did go to the gym on Thursday night but I got there later than I usually do (I worked late) and since I've been thinking about doing a class (I have done Kickboxing & Hip Hop classes a couple of year ago when I lost all my weight) I decided to check into the Cardio Kickboxing Class since it was just about to begin.
This was a big mistake for me...first off the instructor comes in and doesn't even say anything to anyone, just goes over to the stereo and starts his music, LOUD, even if he did say anything you couldn't hear him because the music was so LOUD. I guess I'm definitely getting older because although I don't mind loud music in my truck (that way I don't hear all the noise it makes) Loud music at the gym gives me a headache....Then he starts right in on jumping up and down and swinging his arms (I think it was suppose to be an upper cut)..now this may have been his warm up but it wasn't any moves I had ever seem before in any class I've taken...and it wasn't what I call a warm up but since I decided that I would try this class I went ahead and started jumping up & down, only to land wrong on my right foot and my ankle went out on me...I decided this was a sign that I wasn't meant to do this class..so I walked out on the class and went upstairs to the treadmill and tried to walk/run and made it for a mile before my ankle totally gave out on me..I finished up the night on the recumbent bike, did 3 miles, but even that hurt my ankle...
My ankle was fine yesterday but my legs were killing me from the workout on Weds night...I did go to the gym and did an upper body workout but no cardio...
It seems that I come up with these big plans but never carry them out all the way..not sure how to change this but will keep working on it..I know that I need to up my cardio!
Today is Saturday and I have a b'day party for my nephew in law who turns 45 this month so that means no gym tonight.... I will go after work..no worries about over eating, they will probably not have any foods that I like but it will be good to visit with people I don't see often anymore...
more later

Big Talk..now let's see some Action!

2010-12-02T06:50:00.000-08:00

As I said before..I can talk big but when it comes to actually doing the deed I seem to fail at it.

I woke up this morning with the great idea of when I go to the gym tonight after work (notice I said When not IF) I will walk/run 3 miles on the treadmill. Now for some reason I can do 3 miles (45 mins) at the park (my problem there is actually going to the park...once I'm there no problem) but I can barely stand to do 1 1/2 miles (30 mins) on the treadmill. That 20 mins on the treadmill seems like forever. I don't listen to music because it gives me a headache. I've never been able to do more than 40 mins on a treadmill even in my "best" days when I was in good shape...not because my body couldn't do it but I just can't seem to get my mind wrapped around it.

So the challenge for me today is that I WILL get on that treadmill tonight after work and I will do 3 miles no matter how long it takes. My plan is not to do any weight tonight (I might do some ab work, no promises, I'll have to see how I feel). I did lower body last night at the gym (no cardio because I forgot my socks. EXCUSE?) and want to save my upper body for tomorrow night since so I can workout in the free weight area. I've got a b'day party to go to on Saturday night so this will be my only chance for the rest of this week.
I know I need to up my cardio anyway..

I will be back to record exactly what I do...this will keep my honest.
more later

Christmas is getting CLOSE!

2010-12-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's the first day of December already. How times flies! Although I'm dreading Christmas because of my money situation, I've come to the conclusion since I can't keep it from happening then I'm going to "embrace" it. I've got Christmas decorations I haven't put up for 8 years..and since this is something I can do that does not cost anything, I'll get up in the attic and pull them down and decorate my house this year...won't my kids be surprised. I put lights on one of my trees out in the yard last year and that shocked everyone..I think I'll go for a bigger shock this year. I'll post a picture here when I get done.

I've already told my daughter that I will be fixing her cousins & hers favorite meal this Christmas Eve (which is always spent at my house by the family) and she has offered to help with the cost. More on this later.

Last year I gave everyone books from my library (I was even more broke last year than I am this year). Not sure yet what I'm going to do but have been looking into what I can do on a budget. I really like giving presents (sometimes I think it's more fun for me than it is the person recieving) and I've been known to give some pretty weird gifts (especially to the guys).

I've made up my mind that I will not get depressed about what I CAN'T do this year but will look into what I CAN do.

More later since I'm running late (spent too much time reading other blogs) and have to go pack my lunch for work. Already have my bag for the gym packed!

What to do on my day off?

2010-11-29T11:52:00.000-08:00

It's finally cold out here in Georgia...Not bad for the end of November..but the cold makes me just want to snuggle in on my day off.

So far today..I've done my load of laundry. Made my new favorite Wild Rice with Mushrooms soup for the week. Experimented with an old recipe (Ham Roll with Cheese Sauce) and came up with a new one using what I have in the cupboard..I call it Salmon Filled Pretzel Bites with White Cheese Dipping Sauce (whew what a mouthful)...It turned out really tasty (too bad I don't have someone to share it with)so I typed up exactly how I made it and put it in a file in my documents for future use. I'm always experimenting with what I have in the cupboard and making up recipes, then I can never remember how I did it and can't fix it again..but this time I've got it figured out. I figure it will be a good appetizer to take if I have a party to go to this next month... Still need to work on the dipping sauce since I don't use milk (don't even have any in the house) I used vegetable broth (it wasn't bad just missing something).

I had to put in a phone call to payroll because my check this week was shorted. After sitting on hold for over 20 mins (using up minutes on my cell phone) I actually got a hold of someone and hopefully we have it all straightened out. I feel this is a BIG accomplishment.

And now I'm going to treat myself for the rest of the day, fix myself a cup of hot tea and read my book in front of the fire because that is what I DO on my day off when it's too cold to go outside.

Having A great day here, hope you are too!

Talk is easy

2010-11-27T06:56:00.000-08:00

but actually doing what you say can be a bitch..

I've been so mad at myself and life this past couple of weeks because AGAIN I've let myself down...I talk a good game but when it come down to it..that's all it is Talk!

So I come here and say how I'm going to lose 3 pounds in 1 week or I'll know why...Well, I didn't lose 3 pounds..I actually gained a 1/2 pound...Talk about upsetting! Trying to figure out what went wrong..During that week.I upped my exercise by doing my TaeBo in the morning and went to the gym in the evening and upped my weights.I ate soup for lunch everyday....yet I still didn't lose any weight..my daughter says it's because I'm building muscle (muscle weighs more than fat) and everyone knows that you can't build muscle and lose fat at the same time...She might be right because the next week I didn't go to the gym but still watched what I ate and I lost 1 pound..This past week I've gone back to the gym because 1. I'm paying for it..2. I love how my body & mind feels after a good workout.

I've come to the conclusion that although it may work for some people to have a plan and blog about it..that just doesn't work for me..It's like my body and mind are working against what I want! I hate the disappointment and how I feel that I've let myself down again..that I can't do anything that I say..so I go into hiding.

After a lot of thought about just giving up on the whole thing I've decided that I'm not going to let this thing beat me...I know I can lose the weight..I've done it before...I just have to find my own way of doing it and feeling good about myself in the progress sooo....I'm not going to give up totally..I'm still coming here to blog my thoughts BUT enough of the game playing for me..I will go back to Step 1 on figuring out how I'm going to get down below 200 pounds. No time limit for me...Wanting something is not enough, I have to figure out How to get what I want without setting myself up for failure!

On the Positive Side: I went to the gym last night and actually ran half a mile on the treadmill without walking..I actually did 1 1/2 miles but the second half I had to walk/run a couple of times to catch my breath..legs never bother me..it's my breathing..It's weird but running on the treadmill is easier on my knees and balance than trying to walk fast. I don't always run, just when I feel like I want to move my body faster...I have to admit that I although I'm not losing the pounds like I want, I am feeling better about myself than I did a couple of months ago.

I went for a short walk with my daughter and g'daughter after dinner on Thanksgiving and I actually was able to keep up with my daughter (who walks fast) and even ran a bit with my g'daughter..Not bad for an old lady of 60 years young.

I have to keep reminding myself why I am doing this..It's for myself, so I can feel better, do the things I love!

I will not let "setback" stop me from going forward in my life! Who knows what's around the corner!
More later..

6 miles at the park today!

2010-11-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

As I expected my friend backed out on the walk at the park today...This isn't the first time she has done this so I was prepared. She is one of those overweight people who is always saying that she needs to get started and lose weight but doesn't like gyms...so I keep suggesting she should come to the park with me but today she cancelled because she had to go to breakfast at Cracker Barrel with her family...hmmm walk at the park or eat a big southern type breakfast? Well of course she went out for breakfast at noon...oh well, I'll just keep on inviting her and someday maybe she will actually join me...it's not like the park is out of her way...

So I went to the park by myself....got a little later start than I had planned because I started to watch Xmas movies on tv...I forced myself to turn it off after the first one and got in the truck and went...It was such a beautiful day out...I've been trying to increase my speed while walking on the treadmill at the gym to see if it will help me while I walk at the park...I really want to start going on hikes with the AOC group and be able to keep up with everyone..so today I decided to push myself and walked at a faster pace than I usually do..I didn't run/jog at all...I told myself that if I could do the one time around the lake (3 miles) pushing myself as much as I could then I would turn around and to the loop again at my usual pace...which made it 6 miles...by mile 5 my quads were starting to feel it...but I made it...I may not be losing any pounds but I feel that I am definitely getting more fit....

Day 5 Inspiration: Overlook your flaws. Celebrate your strengths!

I Will continue on no matter what!

2010-11-13T06:10:00.000-08:00

I gave into temptation this morning and weighed myself first thing when I got out of bed...I figured that since I'm half way through I should have at least lost 1 1/2 pounds....I should have known better...the scale said I've lost .6 pounds that's just a little over half a pound..come on! I've upped my exercise and been pretty much watching what I eat..lots of homemade soup..and I still can't lose this weight..What gives with my body? Why is it so easy to gain weight but so hard for me to lose it? So do I just give up and forget about losing this 3 pounds this week? NO WAY...I still have 3 days so I got my butt into the living room and did my TaeBo workout tape..and now I feel better...I AM NOT going to get back on the scale until Monday morning no matter what!

Funny how this bookmark with the Inspirations on it goes with my week so perfectly
Day 5 Inspiration: Setbacks can only stop you if you let them!

I'm determined to see this through!

Day 5 Morning

TaeBo workout   DONE
Supplements & Vitamins   DONE
Breakfast/oatmeal/cranberries   DONE
Gym bag packed     DONE
Lunch (soup from yesterday) packed DONE
Attitude Adjustment     DONE

I did go to the gym last night. I didn't give into the IC or excuses although I did go out to dinner with Princess Val and her Dad after taking her to the Dentist, before going to the gym...I usually never eat before going to the gym..it's just too hard..but I ate fairly light (1/2 naked baked potato, sauteed mushrooms & steamed veggies off the side items) and as I said I did NOT give in and use that as an excuse (mainly because I knew I didn't get my morning workout in)..I upped my cardio (did all three Elliptical/recumbent bike/treadmill) for a total of 30 mins and then did a good leg workout...I was sweaty and tired by the time I got done.

I will go again tonight and plan on doing the Stair Monster (for cardio) and then hit the weight room for some upper body workout...Yay for Saturdays when there isn't many peeps at the gym.

I have a 3 mile hike planned for tomorrow with a friend..I hope she doesn't back out on me...if she does I guess I'll just have to go by myself...no Problem!

LOL..I just read Dr. Fatty's blog from yesterday...Maybe it's not me but my scale...I'm going in and reading her letter to her scale to mine right now and telling it it's from me..That will teach it!...

Day 4

2010-11-12T06:33:00.000-08:00

Not a good start...I slept in, woke up with a stuffed up head and didn't do TaeBo this morning...I truly feel I need a break..I don't think I could do a leg kick even if I wanted to..I will do a leg workout and extra cardio tonight at the gym though. No Excuses!

TaeBo   NO
Supplements & Vitamins   DONE
1 piece of toast with an egg/hot choc for breakfast   DONE
Gym bag packed    DONE
Lunch (leftover veg. soup, I added some Kidney beans) packed   DONE
Attitude Adjustment    Still needs to be done!

DAY 4 INSPIRATION (I didn't plan this and this is what it really says LOL)
Give yourself permission to relax!

Day 3

2010-11-11T06:49:00.000-08:00

First off I would like to tell "Grump" Thanks for all of her comments and that she has nothing to be ashamed for...we each do our own thing and truthfully although I'm determined to do this THIS week, I can't make any promises what will happen next week. We each find our own motivation in our own way. You are doing good by blogging..it helps me to know that I'm not alone in this WAR against "lazy" self...

Day 3
TaeBo tape Done
Supplements & vitamins Done
Gym Bag packed Done
Oatmeal/cranberries for breakfast Done
Lunch (soup again) packed Done

Yep I went to the gym last night even after going over to my daughters for a few minutes...No excuses accepted! I kept my truck running while in my daughter's so I would be tempted to stay..I had to deliver some candles to her that she had ordered..
The gym is a good place for me..I saw a couple of friends that encourage me to keep coming. And I raised my weights on the bench press...whooo hooo ..I'm aiming to become the "strong older woman" of the gym...

I've been fighting a temptation today...I keep thinking about getting on the scale and weighing to see if I'm losing...I know this is not good for me...and I will wait until Monday to weigh but the temptation is killing me..
I've never been one of those people who believe in the scale because it fluctuates all the time...I've tested it myself by weighing myself several times in one day and it always read a different number. So I WILL stay away from the scale..but what a temptation!

I put on my favorite jeans (size 16) today and had to lay on the bed to snap and zip them up (I just washed them)..this is not good...With the ab exercises I've been doing I can see the differance above my waistline but that "apron" on my lower belly just does not go away, except when I put on tight jeans then it only moves up above the waistline to become my "muffin top"..it's like a big jelly roll...moves around all over the place...this is not good..I know that the jeans will stretch out as the day goes by and fit better(at least I hope so) but in the meantime here I sit with my belly being held tight in by material and makes it hard for me to breath..(how did I do this when I was young and ALWAYS wore Tight jeans?). I try not to get discouraged about the rolls of fat I have but the one thing I do know from past experience is that although I can lose the pounds and become smaller in size, I will still have all of the extra skin hanging on my "apron"(lower belly), my "Wings" (under my arms) and "Wattle" (under my chin)..this is what happened to me when I got down to size 10.They don't look as big but they are still there flapping...I hate it but it's part of getting older I guess! I try not to think about it but it is always in the back of my mind...It doesn't change my mind about wanting to get back to my size 10 but it does bother me. I guess it comes down to me wanting to look good! Can I feel good if I don't look good? Hmmm that's the big question for me today! I do feel good about myself (as long as I don't look in the mirror or see a picture of myself)...

Day 3 Inspiration...Every little success counts!

Day 2 started off right!

2010-11-10T06:29:00.000-08:00

With the time change I'm waking up an hour earlier (by the clock)..I never set an alarm but just wake up when the sun comes out (I sleep with my blinds open. Good thing I don't have any neighbors behind me). Instead of pulling the covers over my head and trying to go back to sleep I actually got up and pulled on my workout clothes and did my TaeBo tape...whooo hooo...My IC was trying to tell me that I ached too much and that since I worked out twice yesterday I deserve a break..I had one thing to say to that IC...
"THREE POUNDS!!!!!." and believe me I said it loud and clear..there was no contest who would win this morning..After my work out I took my supplements and started my homemade veggie soup (for lunch), then fixed myself 1 piece of toast with pb, and ate it with a banana and a glass of juice. I've got all my workout clothes for tonight laid out on the bed , all I have to do is put them in the bag and I'm ready for the day..
It amazes me how good I feel when I actually get myself going in the morning...Shoot I already feel thinner...that may be because I'm sitting up straight instead of slouching...exercise does that for me!

DAY 2 Inspiration....You can handle anything that comes your way!

I'm committing myself!

2010-11-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

Ok I've had enough of my wishy washy ways...I'm tired of not really Committing myself to losing any weight..I've been telling myself that it doesn't matter if I lose weight this week...that I didn't gain it overnight so I won't lose it overnight...BullShit!..this is just an excuse to myself so I don't feel like I'm a failure...I know that if I really commit I will lose this weight NOW...I've done it before and I CAN do it again! But if I keep up the way I've been going the last few months I WON'T see the results I want to see! To do that I have to get off my fat butt and COMMIT! This is my pep talk to myself today!

So I'm going to LOSE 3.4 pounds this week...by this time next Tuesday I will weigh 210 or I will know Why!
I got up this morning and did my TaeBo tape..worked up a good sweat..Took the last of my yummy Wild Rice/Mushroom/Spinach soup and grapes to work for lunch and a snack..Then after work I went to the gym and worked up another good sweat...I know that To lose this 3.4 pounds I'm going to have to work hard this week..watch what I eat (plan on lots of healthy soups) and drink water, water and more water! My head is still congested so I'm doing alot of breathing through my mouth, which is dry and the more water I drink the thirstier I get..What gives with that?

In reorganizing and cataloging my books I found one that I had on my shelf that I'm rereading (although I don't remember reading it the first time). It was written in the 90's by Alice Faye (an actress/singer from the 30's & 40's). She was in her 70's when she wrote the book which is "Growing Older, Staying Younger". She died at the age of 83 in 1998. I haven't gotten that far into it yet but so far I like it..She's all about fitness and staying young (as in attitude and body)...I always feel that if I can learn at least one thing that I can use from these kind of books than I'm ahead of the game. One of the things that she said that hit home for me was that as a young woman she didn't have self confidence in herself but after she reached her 50's she found that confidence...I've always had a problem with Self confidence...so maybe there's still hope for me...

I do have confidence that I can lose this 3 pounds this week..(I keep thinking if I say enough it will come true)..
Now for the mushy stuff...in one of the books I found a book mark cut out from a magazine (possibly Woman's World I know I used to read it alot)...It is titled 7 Days of Inspiration..so here goes ..(.I'll add one each day of this week)...
Day 1..Think good thoughts about yourself. They're all true!

Who knew WalMart was a "pick up" place?

2010-11-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

I've been a widow going on 8 years and altho I did do some dating a couple of years ago, I haven't dated since I gained the weight back. In fact I tell everyone that I'm not interested in finding someone to date. The truth is I don't think there is anyone out there that would want me and I'm not taking the chance of getting the brush off because I'm not only too old but too fat. I think what I miss the most is the flirting. When I lost all my weight 5 yrs ago, I felt so good about myself that I would flirt with everyone. Now I just feel like a wall flower.
What lead me to thinking about dating again is...I'm off work today and I went to Wally World to do my shopping this afternoon. Well when I got there I noticed several older (like gray haired) ladies all decked out going into the store. I looked around and damn if there weren't a bunch of older men doing their grocery shopping..you could tell they were single by the little they had in their cart. In fact while in the canned beans section one older gentleman actually said to me that he was looking for a smaller can of chili because it was for just him since he lives by himself. I'm not sure if he was flirting with me or not. LOL...There were several men that looked to be in their early 60's..I didn't realize this was a "pick up" place but there seemed to be some flirting going on over the fresh fruit between several of those older ladies & gents. It was funny. Who knew !
Most of the time I'm okay with living by myself and I really don't want to go through all the trouble "breaking
in" someone. I have girlfriends that I go out with. Also I meet people through my AOC group, although most of them are in their 30's & 40's. And then if I really want "eye candy" I check out the guys at the gym. So it's not like I'm lonely or desperate for someone..it's just that I would like Not to worry that I couldn't attract someone if I saw someone I wanted because of my size.
I can't stop getting older but I can stop being "fat".
Didn't do much on my day's off except working on cataloging all my books (still)...got a lot of exercise bending down and picking up books...stretching to the top of the bookcases..and carrying books from one room to the other...lots of squats!
Back to work and the gym tomorrow!

Brrrrr

2010-11-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

I think winter has arrived in Georgia. I closed all of my windows and turned on the heat this week. I even brought my one plant I keep outside in the summer into the house because there was a freeze warning. (I will move it into the garage tomorrow since it always tries to die on me in the house. I've had this plant for over 7 years and we go through the same thing every year)..that's how I know when to drag out my winter clothes.
Yep...it's time for the big baggy sweatshirts which I used to think hid all of my fatty parts on my body..WRONG! Who am I kidding! Big only makes me look bigger!
I'm lucky I have a job where I can wear anything I want so I don't HAVE to dress up like if I had an office job (altho from what I can see most office jobs are pretty casual anymore). So I'm looking in my closet this morning trying to decide what to wear and decided to dress up a little..I like to do this for ME every once in awhile...it makes me feel good. I found a blouse that I don't wear often because it's long sleeves (I have short arms and long sleeve always go down to my knuckles) and it's the type that you can roll the sleeve up..but I decided that I like this blouse and I want to wear it anyway. Then I put on one of my favorite necklaces (I haven't been wearing necklaces at all for a while because I think it draws attention to my double chins and "wattle" because I like Chokers!) which actually fits me better now than the last time I tried it on...whoohooo. I feel pretty today and am ready to face anything...

I made the best ever Wild Rice & Mushroom soup last night and will take it to work for lunch with me (actually I made a big pot so will have enough for a few days). I have my gym bag packed ready to hit the gym today (didn't go last night) and work out with the free weights (my favorite)...I just remembered that I hadn't taken my vitamins & supplements yet so Stopped everything and went and took them. I've had my oatmeal/cranberries for breakfast. I'm off work tomorrow and the next day...I plan on going to the park for another great walk and will hopefully finish up with my bookcases...I have 5 of them done, which only leaves 4 left (I'm not going to do my cookbooks which is a whole nother bookcase at this time)..The sun is shining and I feel GOOD!

No time this morning

2010-11-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

Had to pay my bills (online) this morning so now I'm not only late but broke...
I did go to the gym last night and got in a pretty good workout on my legs...but probably not good enough since I'm not sore...hmmm maybe I need to change up my workout again...
The sun is shining this morning but I think it's a little cool outside. I've got a problem in the fact that I only have one pair of pants that fits me comfortably...I have other pants that fit me but are tight...I do have quite a few pairs of capri's which I've been wearing but my legs get cold..I need to lose this 5 pounds so all my pants will fit me comfortably...talk about motivation...
Got to go...More later

Another day...

2010-11-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went pretty good..working on having another good day today.
After arguing with my Inner Child (I call her Evil Eva) who tried to convince me that it would be better to go home, sit in front of the fireplace and read a book than to go to the gym and get a work out...I won or I should say I compromised..I did go to the gym but I'm sorry to say I didn't work out as hard as I have been. I only put in 15 mins of cardio , I did get in a good upper body workout but didn't do any abs (which I truly need). Then I came home, curled up on the couch with a blanket and watched TV (no I didn't start up a fire in the fireplace, it was too late by the time I got home).
I've taken my supplements & vitamins & packed my gym bag already this morning. I still have to figure out what to take to work for lunch. Although They (being Princess Val's Dad) agreed to feed me, the food he has at the house just isn't what I like and need. Funny thing is when I first started this job (and one of the reasons I was so happy about it) I was impressed because when I saw the food in the kitchen I was to feed Princess Val it was all healthy foods..well that didn't last long..now when "Dad" does the shopping he brings home "lots of Junk foods". His idea of healthy and mine are two differant things. I have tried helping him by giving suggestions but he is the type that thinks he knows it all...so I've started taking my own food..and sometimes I share it with Princess Val...
Running late again..so More Later

I feel Yechy today!

2010-11-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been feeling too good for the past couple of weeks..lots of aches & pains...my head is all stuffy (allergies?) and yesterday I was suffering from UTI. Some of the aches & pains (knees mostly) are my own fault...I haven't been taking my vitamins & supplements regularly...I know when I do that I feel better. I've been a hypochondriac since I was a kid...I thought I had overcome this in the past years but I'm not sure if a lot of what I'm feeling is just in my head. I hate being sick...I love feeling good! So I'm adding taking my Supplements & Vitamins DAILY to my goal for this month...When I lost the weight last time I was taking 10 different vitamins/supplements daily..I can't afford that now so I've trimmed it down to 4 basics I feel I need at this time. I take a woman's multi vitamin, Calcium Citrate +D (I don't drink milk of any sorts), Vitamin C & Glucosamine Chondroitin plus MSM supplement.

I didn't make it to the gym last night. I have excuses! I had to go over to my daughters to have my son-in-law work on my truck...and then I was in pain from the UTI...(I pushed loads of water into my system and I seem to be better today, still hurts some but not like last night) ....my head was hurting from being stuffy and I had to get home to watch The Biggest Loser...I still have my bag packed and in my truck so I have every intention on going tonight. I've eaten my oatmeal/cranberries and drank my glass of mango juice for breakfast, I have my soup ready to take with me to Princess Val's, got my book to read and I'm ready for to go to work.
More Later

Goals for November!

2010-11-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

I weighed in this morning and I've 1.4 pounds..I'll take it! Not going to be upset because it's only one pound but look at it as a Positive. I didn't make my goal of 8 pounds by the end of October but I came close. So will set a new goal for November. I really want to lose 2 pounds a week..that would put me at 205 the first of December and then I would only need to lose 6 pounds to be under 200 by the first of the Year. December's a tough month because of the Holiday..the big challenge will be the sweets. To reach this goal I will have to get control of what I'm eating and quit making excuses and get to the gym and work out more...

EXERCISE...my goal for the gym is at least 3 times a week to get a GOOD workout..that means cardio and strength training. On my days off I will either work in the yard, go for a hike (with my AOC group or by myself at my favorite park) or work out with one of my Tae Bo videos.
FOOD...One of the things I loved when I was losing weight 5 years ago was trying new Healthy foods...I'm now on the quest to find Healthy Budget friendly foods...it's a challenge to myself.
WATER...although I do drink water I need to drink more...I average about 40 fl oz right now and it needs to be at least 64 oz..I used to drink a gallon a day...I've been drinking a lot of teas and hot chocolate lately. I will limit myself to one cup of either a day as a treat.
JOURNAL...Keeping honest with myself by coming here! Not always the easiest thing for me.

My Walk In the Park Today!

2010-11-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

My first day off on a Monday. I got up and got on the computer to work on reorganizing my books. Went on line to find Healthy ideas on a budget (see new food blog sites) and then I looked out the window and realized that I was wasting a perfectly beautiful day. I've been bad about getting my exercise this week so decided enough with the excuses and put on my shoes and drove to my favorite park.
I love this park it's a 3 mile loop with lots of trees and rolling hills! Since I don't have a digital camera I used my phone camera..Not too bad !

There were a lot of squirrels running around collecting all of the acorns today. There is one on the tree but it's hard to see!

I'm standing on a bridge

I love the boardwalk!

The End!

20 Things Reasons

2010-11-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

20 Things Reasons for Me to lose weight!

1. Getting dressed without having to try on several things before finding something that fits.

2. Shopping for clothes at any store I want and not having to worry that they won’t have something that will fit me.

3. Climbing up stairs without getting out of breath or having to haul myself up with the hand rail.

4. Being able to get off the floor without having to grab onto furniture.

5. Looking in the mirror and liking what I see.

6. Being able to cross and uncross my legs comfortably and easily.

7. Being able to move around in restaurants between tables without worry about bumping into people.

8. Being able to wear a skirt or shorts without my thighs chafing.

9. Being able to hike and keep up with the rest of the group.

10. Fitting into chairs with arms

11. Being able to cut my toenails

12. Being able to bend over and tie my shoes without getting out of breath.

13. No more heartburn.

14. Being able to play around with my GrandKids.

15. Being able to get in and out of cars/trucks easy.

16. Being able to "hop up" out of bed or a chair rather than having to plan in advance how to haul myself up.

17. Feeling so much healthier, stronger, happier.

18. How proud my family is of what I accomplished.

19. Feeling about ten years younger.

20. Having people rave about how good I look!

This thanks to an article in SparksPeople...I used some of her reasons and added my some of my own...

What Happened to Glenn?

2010-10-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

I've been following Glenn @ Fifty Five & Fat and he was one of my followers but tonight I see he dropped out..I hope it wasn't something I said. I hope everything is all right with him, he's been doing so good. I love his commuting stories and he always has positive comments to my blog. That's one of the problems with blogging..you get to "know" and like people and then all of sudden they drop out and you have no idea what happens to them.
Glenn..if you read this..I hope everything is good for you! You have been a real inspiration to me!

Books, Books, and more Books

2010-10-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

I know that I should be blogging about "weight loss" but I'm on a kick on something else right now (at least for today).

B'day bookcase

I love to read..in fact you could call me an avid reader. I read all kinds of books..I go through periods of doing nothing but reading (I'm in one of those periods now). I truthfully could live without TV but don't take my books away.

I have bookcases full of books in every room of my house (except the bathrooms). Larry had the bookcase in my office built for me for my B'day one year (best gift EVER)...and the small bookcase in my living room is the one my GrandDad built over 50 years ago.

GrandDad's Bookcase

This is only 2 of my many bookcases. I have Books stacked up on the floor in two rooms because I've run out of space for bookcases..books in boxes in the closet...book up in the attic...boxes out in the garage...my kids tell me that I can never move because of the books..Get the idea!

With so many books I sometimes forget what book I have and when I go to the bookstore I end up buying a book only to find out I have it already. (This happened to me last week)..or that my daughter has it in her books.
Anyway I've tried to catalog all of my books on the computer a couple of times in the past..it has never worked...either my computer crashed and I lost all the info or I would see a book that I hadn't read for awhile and would get sidetracked and start reading again. Last night I decided that I would try again and stayed up till 3 am this morning working on a simple Excel Spreadsheet and now I don't have time to think about blogging about weight loss...but I'm still working on it.
Got to go to work...I love this job because while I'm waiting for Princess Val to get dressed and eat, I have to be real quiet...so I sit there and READ a book!...It's the Perfect Job for me..I just wish it paid more. But hey I'm not complaining..IT's a JOB!

I hate the word OBESE!

2010-10-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

I watched "The Biggest Loser" last night and as I watch these "obese" people get on the scale to weigh themselves I wonder if our society is getting immune to the sight of really obese people and how is that affecting all of us.
Ten years ago these people would have never came out in the public looking like they do but now (for money and fame?) they bare it all on TV. Don't get me wrong I think it's great that they are finding help to get the bodies they need and want but is it entertainment or motivation for most people.

I see rolls & rolls of fat on their bodies and think "Thank God that isn't me...I'm not that fat so I don't have anything to worry about". I see people at the store who are too "obese" to walk so they take the "electric cart" and fill it up with junk foods. And I think to myself...Thank God that isn't me...I'm not that fat so I don't have anything to worry about"...I see the "obese" woman with her chubby little kids in line at the grocery store, her cart full of junk foods and soda's and think to myself that I am so much better than she because see I don't buy cookies, cakes, donuts or soda's.
What does it matter IF I am 30, 40 , 50 or 100 pounds overweight I'm still "OBESE" !

Lord how I hate that word...From my Webster Dictionary...OBESE adj. Lat. obesus grown fat from eating... Get IT! It doesn't say you get OBESE from lack of exercise or that it's hereditary...that it's your Mom's fault that you're OBESE or that Life made you OBESE...NO! it says you've grown FAT from eating!!! So why am I still making excuses in what I eat...there are alot of people in this world who don't belong to the gym or work out daily but they do eat sensibly so they are not OBESE...I want to be one of those people...but because I'm OBESE and have GROWN FAT FROM EATING, it will NEVER be easy for me..It will always be a struggle...I Will have to exercise to burn this extra fat off my body, I will have to watch my calories and I will have to drink my water...

Because the one thing I do know is that IF I accept that I'm OBESE then the possibility of my being as fat as those people on the show or the people in the grocery store will be come a reality and that is NOT acceptable to me.

Starting the day off right!

2010-10-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

It's my day off today..and I've work up a good sweat with Billy Blanks Tae Bo. I feel full of energy now! I had a glass of juice and in a little while I'll fix me my oatmeal. I NEVER eat before I exercise because I would get reflux. It takes awhile for me to feel hungry after I exercise. I like to relax so when I do eat it will stay down. I hate having stomach problems but that's life for me and I've learn how to deal with it.

I did NOT listen to my inner child last night and I DID go to the gym...I will admit that I called my Daughter to push me into going. My inner child was giving me lots of EXCUSES not to go but I didn't give in and as usual once I was there I did fine. In fact although I didn't do the treadmill for cardio, one of the Stair Monsters was free and just waiting for me so I did 20 mins on it..It kicked my butt...by the time I was done I was soaking wet with sweat but it felt good..I kept my form (no leaning over and holding onto the front of the machine as I see so many peeps doing) and upped my level. Then I did a good leg work out..(gripping here).one of the things that really bugs me about the gym is those people who sit on a machine (especially if there is only one, like the abductor machine) and visit with their friends while I'm waiting to use that machine. I will usually ask (politely) how many more sets they have and hope they take the hint...and if they don't then I move onto another machine until they leave..but it still upsets me when peeps use the gym for social hour...when I talk with others I try not to hog a machine at the same time. But I still love going to the gym. I haven't seen the older lady that I talked with last week but I'm hoping that she is coming at a different time than me.

Still not as on track with eating as I would like to be but I am working on it. It's not that I eat food that I shouldn't, more like that I don't balance my meals like I know I need to be doing. It's hard for me to get in enough protein in my diet. I would be happy just eating Vegetables only all day long!
On the Positive side..I am doing better at controlling my sugar intake..in fact I had to ask my daughter to bring sugar ( for those people who use it in their coffee or tea) to my candle party because I didn't have any in the house and didn't want to buy any and have it here in the house. I'm using honey in my tea or drinking the loose leaf tea that my friend Corey brought me from Germany..it has dried fruit in it so I don't need any sweetener. I do so love my tea!

I finally faced the dreaded scale today and I've lost another pound for a total of six. Although I wish it was more I'm not discouraged. I know for me it just going to take time..I guess I would rather lose it slow than fast..I've done it both ways before and I need time to adjust my thinking so once I do lose it I will NOT gain it back...I want off this yo yo merry go round...

I don't have any plans on what to do with my 2 days off right now. I'm still short on money this week so don't want to burn gas running around so looks like I'll stay home. I'll probably end up reading one of my new (used) books...good thing I worked out this morning...

Thinner or Stronger?

2010-10-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

It's rain here this morning and I'm feeling achey all over. Sometimes getting old isn't much fun. Am I complaining....NO just stating a fact. I've got my gym bag packed for tonight and even if I'm still achey I know I will feel better after I work out. I probably won't do any cardio tonight as it is Monday and EVERYONE hits the gym on Monday, and it seems like they are all on the treadmill. I will not use that as an excuse Not to go (although I'm tempted and that's why I posted it here so I can't use it as an excuse..lol)

I did go to the gym last night and because it was Sunday I actually got to work out in the weight room. I love working with the free weights but I feel that since I'm not a "serious" weight lifter that I shouldn't take up a bench when there are "serious" guys there working out...For some reason Saturdays & Sundays there are only a few "serious" people there and I can always get a bench. I upped my weights last night on bench presses and felt better about my progress than I have in awhile. It's been tough since I've been back because I had to drop my weights back almost to where I was when I started 5 years ago..but I'm getting stronger every time I go in. This is my favorite time at the gym..I figure I will be one of the oldest "STRONG" lady around..The problem with weight training is that muscle weighs more than fat so although I feel I'm getting stronger I'm not losing the weight like I should be. So Do I want to be thinner or do I want to be stronger?
I am doing some cardio at the gym (this should help with losing weight)..I like a good warm up of about 20 mins (this is about all I can stand doing on the treadmill) and I'm trying to get back into running. My knee has been giving me trouble lately but I dug out my knee brace and have been wearing it. I've gotten my time down on doing a mile to less than 14 mins (that's down from 18 mins). This is interval running and walking (mostly walking right now) on the random setting with an incline of 7. I've been working up a pretty damn good sweat doing this..and it's a good warm up before I go do the weights which is my main goal.

I did good on my eating yesterday..I had my oatmeal for breakfast..took a spinach salad with grapes for lunch. some crackers with my hummus/avocado dip for snack and when I got home I fixed myself some veggie soup for dinner. It was nice eating what I like and feeling satisfied.

Good news...starting the first of November I will be getting off work on Sundays and Mondays instead of Tues & Weds..this means that I will be able to get in some Sunday hikes with my AOC group. With the weather getting cooler I can't wait. I probably won't get back into backpacking this year but hopefully by spring I will be able to get in at least one trip..it's a goal to work for.

The answer to my question of whether I want to be thinner or stronger is ....ta da...I want to be both...I want to be a thinner stronger person..that's what I was a couple of years ago and I want that back. I know with hard work I CAN DO IT!

Saying "NO" and being consistent!

2010-10-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

Opps..didn't even get on the computer yesterday so no post..
My candle party Friday night was alright..not spectacular but I really am not one for those so call "parties" where you sell things. The only reason I did this one was I have a friend who is trying to start her own business so I got talked into it.. I really need to learn how to say "NO" to things like this.
The positive side is that it was nice to see some of my friends and family get together..something that doesn't happen often.
I've always prided myself on being able to say "NO" but lately I haven't been doing good in this department.
Not only did I get talked into this party but I've not been eating the way I should..I've given into my "Inner child" way to much lately..not only on what to eat but going to the gym. I do good some days but I'm not consistent. Something I really need to work on.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling the best (too much wine?)and was tired from staying up so late Friday night so I came home instead of going to the gym...but today I'm back on plan..I have my gym bag pack and also have my spinach salad ready to take with me to work. I'm feeling good today.

Real quick

2010-10-22T06:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going in to work early today because I'm hosting a Candle party tonight (what was I thinking?) so have to make this one quick!
For a good laugh make sure to check out Jack Sh*t today.

I did go to the gym last night and pushed myself over my comfort zone..It hurt so bad it felt good! Not going tonight because of the party but will be back there tomorrow night.
I'm one of those "talkers" at the gym...Last night I saw this "older" overweight woman working out with a younger (really fit) guy (turns out he's her son) so I gave her some encouraging words to motivate her..it was her first time at the gym and I didn't want her to get discouraged. She's the same age as me (which is really unusual) and her daughter and son have been trying to get her to come to the gym for quite some time..she said one of her biggest worries was that she would be the oldest and fasted person there...LOL...That's one of the things I do love about my gym..there are all types of people that go there...some really buffed out guys (eye candy for me) in the weight room...and then the rest of us. I have made many friends there over the past 5 years.
Opps just looked at the time..got to go!
More later

No excuses here!

2010-10-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

I left my reading glasses at Princess Val's last night so am having to squint to read what I type..hopefully I have my fingers on the right keys...LOL. I want to keep to my plan of blogging each day. That means NO EXCUSES! (TG for spell check)
I did good yesterday..I went to the gym, did my cardio on the elliptical (15 mins) and the treadmill.(I walked at a 14 incline, the highest the tm machine will go, for 15 mins)..worked up a good sweat...flirted with the guy on the tm next to me...oopps...I meant I talked with him..he was nice but too young as usual. I've seen him there before and he talked to me first. Then I did strength training for the upper body. I will do my lower body (legs mostly) tonight. I really like going to the gym. I feel so good when I leave it.
I came home and steamed me some veggies for supper.
I've got my gym bag packed for tonight and am actually looking forward to going.
Now I'm off to read (squinting) to see how everyone else did yesterday.
More Later

I'm so bad!!!!

2010-10-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to the gym AGAIN last night! All day my back was bothering me. Not sure what the problem was but it is better this morning (finally). So I spent the time I would have at the gym and went to the store to pick up some things I need for Friday night (should free me up to go to the gym Thurs night).
Then came home and watched The Biggest Loser. Which will probably be the last time I watch that show for this season. It's now getting more into the competition part of the show and they put that girl from Atlanta that cries all of the time that I couldn't stand in the first show on.

For the past week I haven't been able to get back into my routine at the gym for some reason or other (mostly excuses). I have big plans to get back and really work out on a regular schedule but it seems that I'm not as COMMITTED as I need to be. I am the one holding me back. I use the excuse I want to "find myself" first before really getting serious and committing to lose this weight but after reading Jodi at Truth2BeingFit I realize that I need to commit to my exercise plan and my eating plan NOW and while I'm losing the weight work on how I can stay on my plans and not get side tracked like I have the last couple of weeks.
I'm going to follow Dr J's advice on Getting Unstuck. He really hits on exactly why I'm stuck.
So many others out there are doing it. Yes, it's harder now that I'm older, alone and broke (these are only Excuses) but I am sure there is a way to do it and I WILL figure it out. My new Mantra is not "I'm going to do it" but "I AM DOING IT"..thanks Dr.J.

A little of this and a little of that!

2010-10-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday and I have to go to work...hmmm...I guess I've actually gotten used to having Tues & Weds off..Like I said my job isn't too hard so I don't really mind.
I didn't get to the gym last night because Princess Val was having a very bad day. She couldn't focus, only wanted to jabber to herself and go around in circles (the Autism was in full force). I couldn't get her settled down even to eat..took me about 3 hrs to get her to eat a bowl of chicken/rice/broccoli (one of her favorites)..
Finally around 5 pm her Dad and I took her to the park and walked about a mile with her with each of us holding her hands so she couldn't wander..this seemed to calm her down a little. Then Dad drove us to McDonalds to get her a McFlurry and a Fish sandwich (which she ate..hooray). I don't eat fast foods so all I had was an iced tea. By the time we got back to their house is was late. The worry about this young lady not eating is that she only weighs about 60 pounds as is and can't afford not to eat. I wish I could give her some of my weight. I figure she burns about 2000 calories just because she never stays still. That's been one of my biggest problems at this new job is trying to figure out how to get enough calories into this girl to keep her from going into a chemical imbalance..normally she does fine with eating but since her schedule was all changed this past weekend, she is way off... Hopefully today she will be better.

So although I didn't get to the gym at least I got some exercise in the Walk. Won't be able to work out at the gym on Friday because I'm hosting a party at my place Friday night. Am I ready for that? NO!
I'm going to try a new recipe for Hummus Guacamole I found on SparkPeople.

Since I cleaned my windows this past weekend and the weather is so nice here I've left them opened. I love the fresh air coming in...would sleep better except that I now can hear my neighbors dog Scooby (a great Dane) barking..I usually don't hear any of the dogs in the neighborhood (and believe there are lots of them) but for some reason Scooby has been barking constantly for the past two days..in fact I can tell he is getting hoarse today. I'm not going to close my windows and hopefully I Will get used to his barking and will be able to block it out.

Got to get my stuff ready for work and head out..More later

Where did the weekend go?

2010-10-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

Here it is Monday morning already. The weekend went so fast. I didn't get all that I had plan accomplished but I still feel I had a pretty good time. My daughter & g'daughter came over Saturday and we got the kitchen./dining room windows washed. This is a big job and I couldn't have gotten it done without their help. It was nice spending time with my daughter..we laughed alot remembering the past when Larry was alive. Although he was her Step Dad, to my daughter Larry was her DAD. We got together when she was seven years old and although there were times when they didn't get along..most of the time they did..Lots of memories there. (For some reason I've been thinking about Larry alot lately..it's been seven years since he died).
Sunday I took my hike and then mostly slept and did nothing the rest of the day.
I have to work straight through the next 8 days to make up the days the extra days that I did get off..It won't be any big deal since my job isn't all that hard.
I've got my bag for the gym packed and will hit it hard there tonight after work. I'm planning to get at least 5 days in at the gym this week.
More later

Hiking on Sunday morning

2010-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

I drove an hour to the other side of town this morning to go on a hike with the AOC (Atlanta Outdoor Club).
The hike was nice. It was next to the Chattahoochee River. Times like this I really wish I had a good camera.
It's good to get out and meet new people. There were 8 of us in this group. I like small groups. Nice people all ages. It was suppose to be an three hour hike but ended up only being 2 hrs because the group basically walked so fast. So after we got back to the parking lot I went down a different trail (a loop) by myself so got my three hours in..Lots of people out on these trails this morning, it would have been nicer if there hadn't been so many people but I got by. One of the reasons I picked this hike was because it started earlier than the other hike that were going on today. I love early morning when the fog is still on the water. Saw quite a few birds and one of the guys on the trip was knowledgeable about trees. A pretty good morning in all.

The Chattahoochee National Recreation Area (CNRA) where we were is in an area that I call "Ritzy" part of town..with lots of mansions and really fancy houses but I found myself being envious not of the houses but of the nice bike lanes on the roads. Where I live is more rural than anything else and if I try to go for walk/run around here I end up in a ditch because people will try to get as close to you as they can in their cars/trucks. I have to drive 20 mins to my favorite park and since I'm trying to save money I haven't been there for awhile. I miss it. I like the gym but I LOVE being outdoors on a beautiful morning like today.

Looking Back!

2010-10-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

The picture is of my daughter and me 30 years ago. I can remember thinking that I was so fat at 169 pounds. Little did I know that in the next 20 years I would gain over a hundred more pounds. This picture was actually taken not long after my son had died and I remember that I didn't want to have the picture taken (I've always hated having my picture taken) but my sister had already paid for them and talked my into it..Thank God she did. When I look at the picture I don't see all the pain that I was in, just how lucky I was to have my daughter and how beautiful she was (and still is).
I know I will never look that young again but it would be nice to have at least have just one chin (LOL).

I'm such a Procrastinator!

2010-10-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

I actually wrote the last post last Friday and finally got around to posting it yesterday!!!
I must have sat down at this computer at least every day and tried to write something but I never could complete a thought. I would type a sentence to only go back and delete it. So instead of keeping to my plan of blogging every day I would just go and read everyone else's blog and feel that I couldn't compete with all of the witty, motivating things that were said out there. So I did nothing!
yep..I'm good at doing Nothing...it's easy and I've had years of practice not following through with what I start..that's why I've lost major weight at least 3 times in my life to only gain it back..because I haven't figured out how to break myself of this habit of starting and not finishing. I am determined that this time I will get it figured out and this will be the LAST time I put myself through the pain and agony of trying to get myself back to where I want to be.

On the positive side..I will give myself a little break here because although I gave up taking pictures of what I eat (read on to find out why) and coming here to actually post a blog..I didn't give up going to the gym or working out..There were a couple of days that I struggled with myself about going to the gym but once I was there I felt a lot better..There were a couple of days (like last night) that I could have gone but decided to give myself a break (or rather my aching body) but I think I'm actually doing ok. I did sign up for a hike this coming Sunday morning and I'm excited about that.

(Moaning & Groaning) the reason I didn't go to the gym last night (although I know I won't be going for the next few days) is that I have been reminded (by my body) why I hate Lunges..I have aches and pains in my legs and ass...in muscles I forgot I had..I really pushed myself working out my lower body on Tues. night.

I'm off work for 4 days (starting today) and this is the first weekend I've had in a long time to do what ever! I Am excited about this but I'm still short on money (going on the hike is my one big treat since I have to pay for gas and parking at the park we're going to) so although I can't go out and do the things like shopping or painting my bedroom, there are still things around the house that I can do. My daughter & granddaughter are coming over on Saturday to help me wash windows (something that I've put off doing for years and boy do they need it..again signs of my procrastination). Hey I should get some exercise from this Right? Today I need to get in the spare room and clean it up. And there is the yard..I need to mow, it's a beautiful day out there and the exercise will be good...Through my (dirty)window here in the office I can see the leaves falling.

I love Autumn but it does give me work in the yard to do (which I haven't done much of in the last few years). When Larry was alive I always kept our yard looking good...he would sit on the porch in his wheelchair and visit me while I worked and we both enjoyed being out doors. I miss the long rides in the car to see the colors of fall that we used to take. For some reason I'm missing Larry more this year than I have in a long time..that's been part of my problem the last week..trying to deal with the loneliness of being a single widow. Even when I'm with people I still feel something is missing..it's hard to deal with some times. I usually try to fill the hollowness with food or just escape into one of my books (which I've done this past week...the books not the food). I know that it will get better and although the hollow feeling never leaves I will be able to handle it better in time..I've done it before and I'll do it this time. But I'm telling you it isn't easy! So much easier to do nothing and wallowing in self pity...Not sure what set me off this time but I know if I don't find a way to learn how to deal with it then all I'm working toward is for nothing because I will go back into that "black hole" I find myself in and it's not a place I want to be in...Enough of that..

Pictures of food I eat...I still think the Idea of doing this is/was a good one..and it did work for me for awhile..but (and I'm being truthful here) I found myself "grazing " (especially at work where there has been a lot of temptations lately) and not being honest about it...and this will only work IF I'm honest with myself..I'm not posting these pictures for anyone but myself and if I can't be honest then I'm only wasting the time it takes to do. It did make me aware of what I was eating for meals. I will most likely go back to it as soon as I can figure out how to keep myself Honest!

Goals for this next week
Blog each day what I'm feeling and doing even if it's only a sentence or two.
Keep myself honest on what I'm eating. No more "mindless/grazing" eating.
Get out and work in the yard!
Clean the spare room!
Spend time with my family!
Enjoy myself hiking on Sunday!

More later

took a break!

2010-10-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

not taking pictures and not thinking about losing weight. Am still watching what I eat but feel that is all I've been thinking about..my whole life is wrapped around losing weight..NOT! There has to be more to life than this..I've only been at it for 6 months and don't have much to show for it...but not giving up..just taking a break. As soon as I can figure out what is going on with me I'll be back.
Not to worry I'm still working out and watching what I eat..I just can't seem to get it together enough to blog my thoughts. Still checking other blogs and getting motivation (and sometimes a good laugh)...
More later

Weigh in today!

2010-10-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Although I've been good about what I eat and have gotten in some good exercise my weigh in shows I'm still at the same weight I was last week..I didn't lose but then I didn't gain either..so I guess I'm ok with this..a little disappointed but I'm not going to let it get me down. I'll just have to look at what I'm doing and see if I can tweek it a little. There is no easy answer for me to losing this weight..

On the positive side..I'm physically feeling so much better than I did a few months ago..it's nice to be able to walk 3 miles and still feel good...and I'm upping my weights & reps at the gym..Just last night after getting home from the gym I was sitting on the couch and I noticed how easy it was to cross my legs again...there for awhile a couple of months ago I could barely do that..I find myself moving so mush easier..my joints aren't aching near as much (just first thing in the morning but I contribute that to "old age") .
I know I've been focused on what I'm eating this last couple of weeks but I've still been working out at least 3 times a week. I know for me I need more than that. I guess you could say I'm a work in progress..a never ending job. I know I can't rush things.I've done that before and sure I lost the weight but then I gained it right back..I also know that there is a time when I need to push myself more. It's a battle for me trying to find the right balance...but I'll won't give up!

I'm trying not to get discouraged about the money situation..I never heard back on the part time job I applied for..it would have been perfect and it would have helped me so much..but it must not have been in the cards for me...so I will keep looking. I hate that there are things I would love to do but don't have the money to do them..There is a hike in NC next Weds that I would love to go on but there is a charge to get into the park and also gas money..it's not much but more than I have right now..I know that there will be other times and other things I can do but it still doesn't keep me from feeling discouraged. I'm trying to remember that there are so many things I have to be thankful for that I can do..but damn it would be nice to go on that hike..this time of year is my favorite time for hiking..

It's a beautiful morning out and as soon as my laundry get done I'm heading out for a walk...I need an "attitude" adjustment and that should do it..
Hope ya'll have a great day!

What I ate today!

2010-10-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

I know this is boring but it really is helping me keep from doing the "mindless" eating thing..

p'butter toast (notice only 1 piece), hot tea & mango juice

2 apples shared with Princess Val

bean buritto

salmon, rice, carrots & cabbage

What I ate today!

2010-10-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

hot choc. & oatmeal/cranberries

leftover pizza & grapes

corn bread, steamed cabbage & carrots

What I ate yesterday!

2010-10-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

egg/mushroom on toast, cantalope & mango juice

Kashi pizza and grapes

I went to a party last night and got home late so didn't have time to post what I ate.

The party was for my daughter's birthday and a totally differant group than I'm used to partying with. It was fun but differant.. One good thing is that my hostess (my daughters best friend) is a vegatarian and I knew she would have some good choices for me. People did look at me funny when I took my pictures..most people take pictures of people..but not me.LOL

I was tempted by the cake and cookies but choose the fruit instead..I like fruit so it wasn't that hard and knowing that if I ate the cake or cookies I would have to take a picture made me stop and think about my choice.. I did have a glass of wine but feel pretty good today.

party plate

fruit

What I ate today!

2010-10-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

p'butter toast, cantalope & mango juice

leftover veg soup & breadstick

tomato sandwich & sweet potato slices

What I ate today!

2010-09-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

p'butter toast, banana & mango juice

salad

vegetable soup, pretzel thins & iced tea

pineapple jello

Happiness?

2010-09-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Each day I read other blogs to "motivate" me...or just because I want to know that I'm not alone in this search for the "Me" I know I can be..Today Jodi over at Truth 2 Being Fit talked about what makes you happy. Will reaching my goal make me happy? Well Sure but I think I can find happiness Now too..I don't want to wait till I reach a certain number on the scale to be happy..

So I got to thinking about Just What makes me happy NOW?..here's a few on my list! (in no particular order)

*Waking up in the morning to the sun shining through my windows!
*Seeing my grandkids laughing and playing with their parents..growing up to be such great people.
*Walking at the park early in the morning, watching the geese fly over the lake.
*Watching the season change & playing in the leaves...yep..I'll always be a kid at heart..
*Sitting down on my back porch to read a book.
*Going to the book store and browsing....
*Remembering good times I had with my husband when he was alive..this also makes me a little sad sometimes but I'm happy I have such good memories.
*Being able to walk into the gym and knowing that I am on "Plan".

I don't know about anyone else out there but I'm not waiting till I'm "the perfect" size to enjoy life..Life has a way of not waiting for you!

What I ate today!

2010-09-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

oatmeal/cranberries w honey

leftover pasta

grilled salmon, sweet potato, a salad & iced tea

Eating on a budget

2010-09-29T15:43:00.000-07:00

I went over my $35 budget by $5 at WalMart...so what does $40 buy? Not a whole lot! Now I just have to figure out what I'm having for supper.

I actually don't think I did all that bad!

Moving forward!

2010-09-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Instead of sitting around all morning and moaning/groaning about not having any monies I decided to do something about it. I just applied for a part time job (my second job) to take up some of the slack. It would be assisting an 80 plus year old woman (who's had a stroke) in the morning before I head over to take care of Princess Val. Although I've never taken care of a "senior" citizen (chuckle here because I now qualify to be one) before I have no doubt I could do this. So keeping my fingers crossed that this works out..If not then I'll look for something else. Sitting around on my Ass isn't going to make things better!..

I'm staying at home on my days off this week (trying to save gas money) instead of going to the park or the gym to work out but that is not going to stop me from getting some exercise.. Yesterday I worked out to one of my Tae Bo tapes..It was fun and amazing how much easier it was then the last time I did it (a couple of months ago)..
Today I got up and took a walk in the neighborhood...It's one of the routes I had mapped out before when I was training to do 5K & 10K runs, it has some pretty steep hills..I walked 3 miles. I didn't do any running this morning because I wanted to time myself walking..so I can work on bettering my time the next time I walk this route. It was a beautiful cool morning with a breeze..I walked at 9 pm so although I am on a main road part of the time there wasn't much traffic..The problem with where I live is there are NO sidewalks so I have to walk on the road. The last time I did this route there were some loose dogs but not today..I'm not afraid of dogs and usually don't have any problem with them but it is a worry anyway...
When I got home I took a quick shower, put on some regular jeans (it's cool out today) instead of the stretch band capri's I've been wearing and fixed myself some oatmeal/cranberries for breakfast. Called my Daughter and wished her a Happy Birthday (how did she get so old.?.I was thinking she is only 32 but she told me she is 37 today...Where do the years go?) Then I came here to check on some "blog" friends to see how they were doing..(it's bad but I've just spent 2 hrs reading other people's blogs..I remember how addictive this can be...LOL).
Now it's time to go to the grocery store and see what I can buy for $35 to eat the next week...A challenge if ever I've seen...but I think I'm up for it now...I'm thinking I'll make a good healthy soup that will last me a couple of days..and then I'll mow the lawn later this afternoon...
Not bad for my day off! :-)

What I ate today!

2010-09-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

I got a slow start on eating today. Finally around noon I fixed an egg/mushroom omelet wrapped in a fajita tortilla with some celery for crunchiness.
It satisfied my until dinner...

For Dinner I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine and some pasta with kidney beans/onion & tomato...Also made a new centerpiece for my dining room table from the pinecones & plants from my yard..I think it turned out nice.

Then I treated myself with dessert a small bowl of pineapple jello!.
It took care of my sweet tooth..

Mixed feelings today!

2010-09-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

Anxious...As usual monies have a lot to do with how I'm feeling today. I am short of it this coming month and I'm trying NOT to let it rule me. I will find a way to deal with it WITHOUT turning to food for comfort. I dread the next couple of months due to the holidays..Mainly because if I don't work I don't get paid. With my type of work I don't get any benefits..no Paid Holidays...In October the family I work for will be taking a vacation to the seaside..I'm happy for them but since I live on a very tight budget the three days I won't be working mean that I will be really strapped for monies. Not sure how I'm going to handle it but I know that EATING anything I can get my hands on is not the answer..

Happy...I weighed myself this morning and I'm down another 2 pounds..Whoohooo..I've been doing pretty good on eating..not that I'm on a "DIET" but I've been trying to balance my meals and to limit my snacks.
I've found that when I eat a good supper/dinner with protein and carbs I'm not so hungry at night..I still have the urge to "graze" as soon as I get home but have found that is more of a reflex than real hunger...usually a cup of hot tea take care of the problem..Been pretty much on with taking pictures (this seems to really work for me) except on Sunday..(I'm not going to "beat" myself up over it but TRY not to let it happen to often,...and make sure I get right back on track..(which I did yesterday).

Hopeful...My goal for October is to get down below 210 pounds. I goal for 2010 is by Christmas to weigh less than 200 pounds..I know that this shouldn't be all that hard because I've 3 months to lose 15 pounds but every time I set a timeline for a goal I seem to sabotage myself and I don't want to set myself up for that so I'm going to go month my month...October will be a challenge because of the monies but I will find a way..If determination is all I have then I will use that to the full extent..I may end up eating soups most of the month but hey..I like soups..NO Halloween candies for this girl!..

Proud..this past week I accomplished 2 of my goals...I went hiking and I walked/ran in a 5K..I'm not sure what I will do for an exercise goal for October yet but I'm looking out for something. I would love to do some backpacking but since I work weekends and don't have the monies to take off, it looks like I will have to wait on this one..I'm going to set new goals for October!

Jealous..I see my friends doing things I would love to be doing..like backpacking, going out to nice restaurants...etc..all things that I can't do right now because of MONIES...but I'm not letting it eat me up..I know there are things I CAN do and I will find them..

Thankful....that I have a place that I can come and put all my feeling out there with out the fear of being judged...and to know that I'm not alone in this stuggle to find myself.

Oppps..Missed 2 days

2010-09-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

What did I eat? I did take pictures of what I ate on Saturday but I'm not going to post it, not that I did bad on eating..I just don't want to post it tonight....Gave it up for a lost cause yesterday and didn't take any pictures of what I ate (which was mostly junk)... but I'm back on track today.

This is WHAT I ATE TODAY!

Hot tea/P'butter & honey toast

veggie burger, tomato slice & strawberries
Yummy

steamed cabbage & brocolli with kidney beans

So far it's working for me!

2010-09-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

Taking pictures of what I'm eating everyday and posting it here has really helped me curb my "mindless" eating in the evening...also at work where for some reason he's has started to bring in junk foods...

I've had to fight (and win) with my IC every night but I'm determined if I'm going to do this I'm going to do it honestly and right...that means I will not give into my inner child who argues with me that I can still have just a few bites of something and not take a picture..especially in the evening when I want something sweet..Nope so far every bite of Food that I've eaten has had it's picture taken...And I've found a way to satisfy that sweet tooth of mine in the evening..I have a cup of hot tea with honey instead..I don't take a picture of it because I feel that my real struggle is with food not what I drink..If I'm having tea with my meal then it will be included other wise not.

The one thing I've found interesting is that by this Picture Taking..I've had to really think about what I'm eating...I want the picture to look good...No more eating out of the pan that I cooked it in or the package...
no more grab & eat...I actually have to wait a few minutes before stuffing food into my mouth..a lot of times this gives me time to realize I really don't want it..for instance I've had the one fudgesickle for over a week..a couple times in the evening I started to eat it when I realized a cup of hot tea would satisfy me just as well..
Last night when I came home from work I was hot and tired, didn't feel really good and wanted that fudgesickle...(even after I took the picture) so I decided to eat it without any guilt...It was good and just what I needed...
I may not be losing any weight but I feel better because I feel that I have CONTROL over what I'm eating now...with "mindless" eating there is no Control...

So on Weds I went "hiking" with my AOC group...I say "hiking" because it really was just a walk in the park and not a hike. We only did 2 1/2 miles at a local park and it was more like a "social" walk...but it was for beginners and Pam (the leader) had a lot of information to give new hikers.. I did my part in being the "sweeper" bringing up the rear of the group...It was fun..not sure how much exercise I really got though..

Tonight I'm headed over to my friend Lettie's for a Candlelight Party...There will be food I'm sure but I never have problems with that..Although I'm thinking I probably eat more than I realize just grazing on food..so I will have my handy dandy cell camera with me...and before it goes in my mouth there will be a picture taken...

Tomorrow morning (bright and early) is my 5K walk/run...I haven't done well on the Big Plan I had to get myself into running so I will most likely walk most of the way..I won't be surprized if I'm one of the last peoples to finish..but I know I'll finish...I'm not worried that I can't do it because I know I can do 3 miles pretty easy walking...My daughter says she's coming to cheer me on..I've got my new Knee Strap so that should help with my right knee which has been giving me a lot of pain in the morning...

On the Positive Side...I've been taking my vitamins & supplements all week...still hate it but I know that I need them...

What I ate today!

2010-09-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

califlower/carrot/celery snak

oatmeal/cranberries & banana

pizza & green beans

brocolli/potato soup

fudgesickle

What I ate today!

2010-09-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

cantalope

leftover pizza

chex mix/cranberries/almond mix

bean burrito, chips & hot tea

What I ate today!

2010-09-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

p'butter/honey toast, banana and hot tea

left over pizza

cranberries/almond snack for hike

veggie burger w tomato & avacado

Challenge for Me!

2010-09-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched Season 10 The Biggest Loser first episode...Now understand that I'm not one of the shows "biggest" fans (lol)..I was faithful for the first 2 seasons but got tired of the unrealistic way they did the show and all the "drama"...but I do like to see the first episode to see who is going to "the Ranch"...to hear the contestants stories..how they got to thier size and what is motivating them...then I'll tune in every once in awhile just to see how they are doing..I say "unrealistic" because I don't believe that anyone can lose as much weight as they do on this show WITHOUT help...6 hrs of exercise a day..who can do that..you definately need a medical person on staff with you...
Anyway back to the show...TBL went to 7 cities (Atlanta included) and had 3 contestants from each city in competition against each other to see which 2 would go to "The Ranch" (I figure the 3rd person will eventually end up on the show sooner or later)..Now understand each of these contestants are at least 100 pounds overweight (if not more) and they expected them to either do a 1 mile run or 500 step-ups on a platform..That would be like a normal person doing it while carrying a 100 # bag of something...I cringe just to think about it...

I'm not sure I could do the 500 step-ups.(even without carrying anything)..so it got me to thinking about Challenging myself to see if I could..Since I don't have a Platform (and I don't want to do this at the gym) I looked around the house to see what I had that would work...and the closest thing I could find is step up out on the back patio. I've been doing the Stair"Monster" at the gym but I really don't pay any attention on how my steps I actually do..I just put my time (20 mins) in and then get off..It kicks my butt everytime..So MY

CHALLENGE to myself is to see IF I can do 500 step-ups and how long it takes me..I did do 100 pretty easy today just to see if the step would work but didn't time myself..I figure I'll do it in the morning before coming here and going to work...then as I get better at it..I'll move over to where it's a higher step..until I can do that..this is a great workout for the butt..and I've been b*tching lately (to myself) about how WIDE and SAGGY my butt is...

Back to the show...one of the things that was said last night that made me stop and think(I think Bob said it) is that "Obesity has surpassed smoking as number one cause of preventable deaths in this country"..This is not only sad but SCARY...we are literally EATING ourselves to our deaths...Being a child of the 60's I can remember all the hoopla that came out when the Surgeon General declared smoking hazardous to our health and how everyone jumped on the bandwagon to quit..second hand smoking was and still is considered hazardous...I can see how Eating can be "hazardous" also but it's something we need for our bodies...so maybe we could say "UNHEALTHY" EATING is Hazardous to our health..

I actually cried a couple of times during the show...(I know I'm really a softy at heart)..one was when Corey a 27 yr old man with dreadlocks (in Portland) actually collapsed 20 yds from the finish line of the 1 mile challenge..I was so cheering for him..he needs help so much..he weighs 391 pounds and is sooo young..to think that he couldn't even make 1 mile makes me cry for him...

The other was when a young mother Lisa in Oklahoma City was telling about having to take her young daughter to the emergency room because she couldn't see..She found out that her daughter was very dehydrated and was literally starving herself because she didn't want to be heavy like her mom..and the sad thing is the stats show that this child has a reason to worry...Jacksh*t blogged about this today. I know that when my daughter was growing up it was a BIG worry for me, but not enough for me to change our (my husbands and mine) way of eating..I used my husband as an excuse but that's exactly what it was..Now I see my daughter (who has gained extra weight in the last few years) doing the same thing..although her daughter isn't heavy (yet), my g'son has the potential to be heavy..this worries me that it's all my fault that she is heavy now and that the g'kids will carry that tradition into their lives..It's not a good thing..

Today is the first day of Fall...why is it still hot here in Atlanta...of course pretty soon I'll be bitching about the cold..so I guess I'll just go an enjoy the heat while I can..

I'm off to find something comfortable to wear this evening on my hike..Hopefully I'll see the moon again tonight...it was so pretty last night.

What I ate today!

2010-09-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hot Choc & P'butter toast

Mango Fruit Chiller

Homemade Pizza & Iced tea

Fish, brocolli & carrots

No Excuses and No Apologizes

2010-09-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

Today is my day off and I haven't done anything that I can be proud of except play on the computer, think about what I can eat... and..Oh yeah..I read a book! No exercise at all...am I discouraged with myself..NOPE...I just felt like taking a day off..NO excuses..no apologizes..I just did it!

I weighed myself this morning and I've actually lost 2 pounds this past week...(I'm determined that I'm not going to find them next week)..to some 2 pounds may not sound like a lot but to me it's a start and so much better than I've been doing in the past few months (I've gained since I started blogging)
So No Excuses and No Apologizes..I say waaahooo here I go!

I've actually done good on eating today..although I've done a lot of thinking about Just what I can eat..knowing that I'm going to take a picture of anything that goes into my mouth has made me really AWARE of just what I'm going to eat...Made me have to stop and think..

Last night I almost listened to my IC (inner child) to not take the picture of the popcorn and just eat it..if no one knows that I ate it then it doesn't count..right? But I took a firm hand with IC and said that if this is going to work for me then I have to be HONEST..I still ate the popcorn but it was only a half of mini bag (I stopped the microwave before all of it popped..lots of kernels that I couldn't eat)..it was good and I figured I hadn't done all that bad on what I ate all day...so No excuses and No Apologizes to myself...Like I said before..I'm not going to deny myself foods but I will make sure that I don't go overboard!
(I've taken pictures of EVERYTHING I've eaten so far today and will post it Before I go to bed..that way if I decide to have a snack it will be included)..

I'm going on a hike tomorrow evening across town with the AOC group..it's a beginners hike but since I work on weekends I can't be too picky..besides I'm taking my friend Lettie with me..she's been wanting to hike...also I know the trip leader, been backpacking with her a couple of times, and She's a hoot...I really like her..She's asked me to be the "sweeper" for the group so she can concentrate on all the "newbies"...Just in case you didn't know the "sweeper" is the last person on the trail to make sure there aren't any stragglers or that anyone gets lost..Since this is where I like to hike anyway it works out great..should be a nice nice for hiking...I just wish I hadn't lost my headlamp just in case it gets dark on us..I do have a small flashlight that I can take just in case..It should be fun and I can get some exercise in..I'm not worried about this hike like I was the last one I went on..I know that I will do all right..I've been doing the treadmill and the stair"monster" at the gym and feel much better about doing anything cardio..besides I've decided that I will just do what I can ...No excuses and No Apologies...

I'm off to steam me some veggies and grill some fish for dinner (and take a picture) then maybe watch some tv...continuing with my DAY OFF...and making NO excuses and No apologizes...

What I ate today!

2010-09-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

snack

Lunch

Supper

snack

What's floating around in my head? Pictures of food & "Child Within!

2010-09-20T05:14:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with an idea that I think WILL work for me as far as my "eating problems" goes.
I was thinking about the statement I made that I NEVER have a problem with eating out at events. I gave the reason as I don't want to cough and this is true but even truer is that I'm always aware or think that people are watching what I eat and thinking "no wonder she's fat"...I do have a couple of rules for eating out that I follow..1 is that I don't (normally) eat anything that I can or will fix for myself at home..for an example.. if it's a salad there has to be something differant about it than the one I fix at home...and 2 is to take only a small amount..this works pretty good for me..

My biggest problem is eating at home by myself in the evening...I have no "will power" and I do what I call "mindless eating"...most of the time I couldn't even tell you WHAT I ate later...I need to get this under control so I CAN lose this weight.

I've decided to use this Blog as a group of people who will see everything I eat...as I said before I hate journaling (writing down every bite I eat) and counting calories...but If I were to take a picture of everything I eat in a day (taken before I eat it) and post it here DAILY this could act as if I'm eating in front of people...I don't have a digital camera BUT I do have a camera on my cell phone (which is always with me)..this is what I've taken the pictures I post here with. I'm sure there is someone out there in blogland that is doing this but it's a new idea for me..I know that Skwigg will post pictures of what she eats every once in a while..
I want to keep it simple..I plan on posting every night before going to bed..No words (maybe occasionally) just pictures.. this will be a "visual" reminder to me (and I am a visual person) so I can figure out what I really am eating and what I need to change...Please note that I am a firm believer in that there is no "BAD" foods . If I want to have a fudge bar and I feel that I've been good with whatever else I've eaten that day then I will "treat" myself..it's not the fudge bar is "bad", it's the combination of all I've eaten. No excuses! Anyway I'm going to give this a try and see how it works for me..

The other thing I've been thinking about lately is those "inner voices" that I give into Way to much. I was reading a blog (and I'm sorry but I don't remember who's) and they were talking about how when you say "no" to a child that you shouldn't give into them...this made me think about when I was with eDiets and we talked about our "inner child" or those "inner voices"...This also made me think about when my daughter and niece were small and they would ask for something, If I said "no" they knew not to argue because I wouldn't change my mind..but if my sister said "no" they would bug her until she gave in..and if I said "let me think about it" they knew that there was a chance that they would get what they wanted IF they kept quiet about it..If they bugged me usually I would end up saying "no" unless they could give me a good reason (which my niece was famous for doing)..Then I also remembered If I told the girls to do something I expected them to do it without arguing with me...My "child within" (inner voices) doesn't listen to me most of the time...she rules the day but that is going to Stop...I've had years of experience dealing with children and I know how to be firm but fair. I need to start dealing with my own "child within" as if she/they were real children.

A fun time was had at the Wedding!

2010-09-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to my friends Marcia & Nelson's wedding and I got to bring home this beautiful flower arrangement that was on the tables at the reception. I love them and I also realized it's been YEARS since I've been given flowers..hmm what's up with that? Whatever...they look really nice on my table and I'm enjoying them.

The wedding was held outside and of course it was beautiful..including my friend Marcia...When I first met her 6 years ago I was so jealous because she although she wasn't "skinny", she was the size I wanted to be..I was still about 20 pounds from my goal of 149 pounds at that time (a goal I never did reach). Well, the years haven't been good to Marcia as far as her weight is concerned...but they have been good to her in that she found the man she loves and who loves her no matter what. Although she weighs about 50 pounds more than she did a few years ago, She looked beautiful in her long wedding gown..she looked so happy..I know that she has been struggling to lose weight before the wedding date and just couldn't do it..I'm happy for her (not that she couldn't do it LOL but that she is so happy)...(and I'm not jealous of her any longer).
The reception was fun...they had lots of food of course, but I never have trouble eating at any events..I had a small plate with salad and a shrimp/rice dish..I also had a carrot cake bite for desert...I did have a couple of glasses of wine..Again my problem isn't eating out in public..in fact I NEVER overeat when there are people around..I am what I call a "secret" eater..I had people say they didn't understand why I'm the size I am because they never see me eat anyway but healthy...Some of my problem is I know that anytime I eat I will end up coughing for a least a half an hour and it's just easier for me not to eat..but then if I don't eat I also end up coughing because the acids in my tummy back up (acid reflux is hell)..So I do try to be careful what I do eat when I'm out with my friends...
Back to the reception...they had a "photo booth" like you see in the mall..with all kinds of hats and boa's..normally I would stay clear of this kind of thing..but last night I did pose with a couple of friends..trouble is I don't have a scanner so I can't post it here....they actually didn't turn out too bad..and I had fun...Of course I danced a little..I thought about wearing heels but ended up wearing a pair of flat shoes just so my feet wouldn't end up hurting..and boy was I glad..Hey I even wore a dress and make up..I felt good about myself for a change!

Time to get Serious!

2010-09-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling pretty good this morning! I've got my bag packed for the gym tonight, figured out what I'm going to take to work for lunch (although my boss has agreed to supply me with lunch his fridge yesterday didn't hold anything I wanted, so I will take my own today) and I actually took my Vitamin & Supplements today..

Vitamins & Supplements...The cramp in my foot the other day and the aches in my knee and hip joints tells me that I need to Seriously look at my diet and to start back on my Vitamins and Supplements...I'm so bad about taking them and I know that I need them and feel better when I take them. I used to (in the good ole days) take a variety of supplements and a protein drink every morning before going to the gym. But for some reason (mostly monies) I decided 2 years ago to stop all. First all let me tell you I've ALWAYS HATED taking pills..they get stuck on the way down...The vitamins I take with IRON repeat on me..just the smell of IRON makes me sick.which probably dates back to when I was a kid and had to take this liquid iron medicine everyday...I had rickets due to a poor diet...I know now that My Mom did her best but trying to bring up 4 kids by yourself on welfare in the 50's had to be really Tough..I could blame my Mom on my eating habits and the reason I got fat in the first place but It wouldn't serve any purpose now because I can't change what happened then only what happens NOW.

(Warning Tangent coming)
Like any one who has ever been fat and lost and gained it back (yoyoyoyoing) I've tried many differant "diets", bought & read alot of books on what I'm "suppose" to be eating and even joined the support groups..eDiets & SparkPeople so I KNOW what is " right" and what is "wrong" to eat..I KNOW what I need to be doing NOW and I know that I can take the weight off (once I really set my mind to it)..I've done it before..but what really worries me is that I won't keep it off..that something deep down inside me WANTS to be FAT...it's where my "Comfort Zone" is..I thought I had all this figured out the last time I lost the weight..I thought I had fought all my demons and won...but obviously I didn't or I won't have fallen back when things went "bad" for me. The thing is I also KNOW that this HAS to be the last time I do this Battle because I don't have any time left...For Pete's Sake I'm 60 years old...I think I'm am the oldest "Dieter" in Blogland...I'm just too Old to keep doing this..As Susan Powers Said ..I need to "STOP THE INSANITY"..
I need to Stop making excuses and get serious about What I am eating! I want to feel good about myself with the time I do have left.

So I'm taking a good hard look at every bite of food I take (I hate this part) and make sure that I'm getting all of the nutrients I need. I already know that I don't get enough protein and Calcium...I'm looking for a good protein drink that doesn't need milk, soy or other..I can't handle anything thick, it makes my chest congested and I spend about an hour coughing afterwards..The good thing is.this does keep me from having any ice cream or milk shakes (I would die for a Blizzard) ...I can tell you right now that I haven't been eating enough fresh greens..I use the excuse that I hate "packaged" greens.(which is all that WallyWorld where I get most of my groceries from carries, especially spinach which I love)... I know that I can go to the Farmers Market (something I still haven't done because there isn't one conveniently close to me) but truthfully I don't see that happening soon....The other thing I know that I WON'T do is count calories..I know it works for a lot of people but for me it is just too frustrating and I can only do it for a couple of days..I've tried tracking (writing down) what I eat and that doesn't work for me either...OK I know what I Won't do now I have to find what I WILL DO...I do know that I need to be AWARE of what I'm eating..(mindless eating is one of my biggest faults) then I can use all this knowledge I've gained over the years and eat what I know I should be eating..I read somewhere recently .."Food is not the enemy" (I'll blog more on this later..running out of time this morning)..

So the Positive Side...Although I know that I have a ways to go yet I feel that I've improved my life so much over the past few months. I am feeling GOOD about myself..I'm getting exercise (yay the gym, 5K's and hiking)..I've brought myself out of "seclusion" and have started taking pride in How I look (love my new color and haircut)...

I feel Autumn in the Air!

2010-09-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 years since I've gone on any backpacking trips and I miss it and the fun. I love being outdoors in nature especially in the Autumn or early Spring. One of my goals is to get back into shape enough to go backpacking again. With the cooler weather coming I'm really feel the urge (my mind is willing but my body isn't). I look at my AOC (Atlanta Outdoors Club) website and see all the good trips they are going on and I want to go too! I have a lot of friends on FB that belong and I keep up with them there and ENVY them for all the trips they are going on. To me backpacking is the idea way to go. You hike into where you want to go, set up your tent and then sit around (or go explore) and visit with your friends. You watch the sun go down and get up with the sunrise...Awww I love those mornings..froze my ass off a few times but it was worth it. You get an extra hike in early in the morning and then you head back to town...I have some really good memories of some really good trips.
So why don't I sign up for a trip? First ...all backpacking trips are on the weekends (and I work weekends ) and second I now weigh 50 pounds more than I did when I was backpacking....It's like carrying an extra backpack on my body..My backpack (fully loaded) weighs around 35 pounds..I'm not sure I could carry that and the extra weight I've gained for 5-10 miles.
So although I can't (I hate that word) go backpacking this year, I can at least get in some local hikes on my days off and work toward getting in shape so I can go in the spring (by then I'm hoping to be getting weekends off at work). . I've signed up for the hike next Weds and I can't wait..I know the trip leader (she's a hoot and I love her personality) but the rest of the group are "newbie's " (meaning I don't know them). So far I'll be the oldest (nothing new there), but I'm not going to let that stop me. It's at a park that I haven't been to on the other side of town and It will take me only about an hour to drive there. I plan on checking out as many new parks as I can this fall/winter. My fav time to hike is early morning and although this hike is in the evening (after work for most) I'm happy with it..That will give me time to get to the park early and check out things..like where the nearest bathroom is LOL.

Other news and thoughts..
(this is a rant) I did go to the gym yesterday after going to the Dollar Store....It's a differant location than I've been going to.. I worked as a sales counselor (I found out that I'm not aggressive enough to be in this kind of sales) when this location first opened up. It's weird how 2 gyms (same company) could be so differant. The one I go to regularly is on my way home from work, and it is the one that I worked out at for 5 years feels like home to me. I love going there because I know people there (no matter what time of day I go I ALWAYS see someone I know), I know the machines (although they aren't that differant at the other sites, it seems to make a differance to me) . The differance to me is staggering..if I had to go to the gym I went to yesterday on a regular basis, I don't think I would! I ended up going around 3 pm and there were maybe 10 people in the place (sales included). Not one person even acknowledged me..now I'm not there for a social life but what I like about my regular gym is that even if someone doesn't talk to you at least they will have eye contact with you acknowledging that you are there. There was no one on the treadmills, elliptical and one person on the life cycle (this is weird to me). The machine I really went there for was the StairMonster and I knew they had three of them...Of course ALL three were being used...so I ended up doing 30 mins on the Elliptical..about 20 mins in I got a cramp in my foot that would not go away...so when I finished with my 30 mins I left...I decided that I wanted to get a good upper workout at my reg gym tonight and then I'll do lower on Friday...So although I didn't get as good of a work out as I had planned at least I did do something. I will be so glad to be back at where I feel comfortable and welcomed tonight.. Got my bag packed and am ready for the gym!!!! Whooohooo!

On the Positive Side..
Yay....Michael Grimm, who I wanted to win
America's Got Talent...WON!!!!!
I so will buy his music when it comes out in the stores. I love his bluesy type of music. I see he already has my favorite "Leave Your Hat On" on iTunes.
Mark my words..this guy will be a big hit!

If you ask me this was the best year ever for AGT!.