Winning against my inner voices!

I constantly have these voices in my mind telling me what to do! In the past couple of years I've let the "bad" voices rule although I know they do not want the Best for Me. The "good" voices are there too, I just haven't been listening to them enough.

What these "bad" voices have told me was that I was worthless, that I don't matter! So why should I take care of myself? It's too hard to eat healthy, besides it's too expensive and since I don't have a good paying job (because I'm worthless and can't do anything) all I should give in and eat what I really like...sugar may cause my stomach to hurt and gives me a headache BUT I like it and I need it to keep away that craving and It really makes me feel better. Walking or exercising is too hard..it's so much better to sit around and read a book or two or watch tv..doing nothing is easy..working out is hard!

The trouble with giving into this "bad" side of myself is that it gets easier to do nothing. BUT (notice the big But) I know that if I DON'T give in and I do what I know REALLY makes me feel good, these voices in my mind give up.

So How do I win in this daily struggle? One day at a time! Follow my Plan! Having a plan and sticking to it may not be easy but IT can be done. I did it today (so far). I woke up this morning and altho the voices told me to roll over and go back to sleep, I got up and made my bed (the voices said not to because no one but me would see it). After washing my face & brushing my teeth I spoke with my Daughter on the phone and made plans for tonight for my grandson's B'day (my voices were jumping up and down because now my plans to go to the gym had changed). But instead of giving into those voices I decided that it was too beautiful of a morning to waste so I went to my favorite park to do my 3 miles walk/jog. I can tell you the voices screamed at me for the first mile, telling me  I didn't have to do the whole 3 miles, I could take the short cuts and I didn't have to walk/jog so fast..I'm old, I need to go slow..my legs hurt..I need to sit down..but I didn't give into them..no sirrreee...I did the whole 3 miles and although I can feel the ache in my knee and I'm stiff in the lower back..I feel GOOD about myself. I actually did better than I thought I would on the time.  It took me 45 mins to do the 3 miles and I'm working towards doing it in 30 mins for the 5k at the end of the month. I do Not want to be the last person to finish the race!

When I got done at the park I drove to WallyWorld to buy the grandson a b'day card and gift. While there the "bad" voice again attacked me telling me that I deserved something sweet to eat, but my "good" voices told me that I had watermelon at home waiting for me. This actually sounded good so I listened to the "good" voices.

On the Positive Side... I got all my housework done and mowed my yard yesterday so I'm now thinking about going to the gym to sit in the Hot Tub to soak some of the aches & pains out of my body...might even lift a few weights. I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

I'm always on the lookout for Motivation and checking out other blogs..It seems like everyone I've been checking out has this one that they follow (besides Swkigg). So I checked out Jack Sh*t and I really like him. I loved his sense of humor (see Bad, Badder & Worstest). So I've added him on my list to follow.

Also I've added my weight to my blog...this is a big step for me because I've been putting it off hoping I would lose below 210 before any one would know that I'm this big (who am I kidding?)..I'll post my weight no matter if I gain or not every week..either Tues or Wed..

I'm also working (in my mind) on an idea I have how to motivate myself to get down below 200 before Christmas and help out others. More on that later!