Talk is easy

but actually doing what you say can be a bitch..

I've been so mad at myself and life this past couple of weeks because AGAIN I've let myself down...I talk a good game but when it come down to it..that's all it is Talk!

So I come here and say how I'm going to lose 3 pounds in 1 week or I'll know why...Well, I didn't lose 3 pounds..I actually gained a 1/2 pound...Talk about upsetting! Trying to figure out what went wrong..During that week.I upped my exercise by doing my TaeBo in the morning and went to the gym in the evening and upped my weights.I ate soup for lunch everyday....yet I still didn't lose any weight..my daughter says it's because I'm building muscle (muscle weighs more than fat) and everyone knows that you can't build muscle and lose fat at the same time...She might be right because the next week I didn't go to the gym but still watched what I ate and I lost 1 pound..This past week I've gone back to the gym because 1. I'm paying for it..2. I love how my body & mind feels after a good workout.

I've come to the conclusion that although it may work for some people to have a plan and blog about it..that just doesn't work for me..It's like my body and mind are working against what I want! I hate the disappointment and how I feel that I've let myself down again..that I can't do anything that I say..so I go into hiding.

After a lot of thought about just giving up on the whole thing I've decided that I'm not going to let this thing beat me...I know I can lose the weight..I've done it before...I just have to find my own way of doing it and feeling good about myself in the progress sooo....I'm not going to give up totally..I'm still coming here to blog my thoughts BUT enough of the game playing for me..I will go back to Step 1 on figuring out how I'm going to get down below 200 pounds. No time limit for me...Wanting something is not enough, I have to figure out How to get what I want without setting myself up for failure!

On the Positive Side:  I went to the gym last night and actually ran half a mile on the treadmill without walking..I actually did 1 1/2 miles but the second half I had to walk/run a couple of times to catch my breath..legs never bother me..it's my breathing..It's weird but running on the treadmill is easier on my knees and balance than trying to walk fast. I don't always run, just when I feel like I want to move my body faster...I have to admit that I although I'm not losing the pounds like I want, I am feeling better about myself than I did a couple of months ago.

I went for a short walk with my daughter and g'daughter after dinner on Thanksgiving and I actually was able to keep up with my daughter (who walks fast) and even ran a bit with my g'daughter..Not bad for an old lady of 60 years young.

I have to keep reminding myself why I am doing this..It's for myself, so I can feel better, do the things I love!

I will not let "setback" stop me from going forward in my life! Who knows what's around the corner!
More later..