Why?

Why is it so easy to get discouraged and so hard to stay motivated?
Still have this headache (might be from too much reading) and achy feeling all over this morning. Didn't do any exercise.
I'm on my way over to a friends (an that all he is "a friend") place maybe he can cheer me up and help me get motivated. He has an old laptop he's giving me. He dropped it and it isn't working so he got a new one instead of getting it fixed. All I have to do is see about getting it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take much to fix. Will let my #1 niece look at it..she's good at that kind of thing.

I like my new look on the blog...but still not in the mood to be witty or insightful..maybe tomorrow will be better.
More later

not feeling good about myself

I did a no no yesterday and weighed myself.(instead of waiting til Monday)..I was hoping for maybe a .5# loss but instead I've gained .5#..
Not sure what is going on with my body...it might be something medically wrong with me (like a thyroid problem) but since I don't have any medical insurance I won't be going to a doctor to find out. I'll just have to keep trying my own way. I didn't do any workout yesterday because I'm still dealing with a headache and some bowel problems (also being discouraged), still not feeling too good today so didn't workout again this morning. I still have my 3rd workout for this week to do and I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow (my day off) so I can get it done. I will say that if this workout didn't have the dreaded "Inchworm" I would have probably done it no matter how I felt this morning (haha so I tell myself)...

I need an attitude adjustment today...good thing I'm off work tomorrow...We are expecting a big snow storm to come in latter tomorrow so I need to get to the store to buy "whatever" I need in case I get snowed in...LOL...Atlanta is so funny about that...I do have firewood, candles and my books (and 3 headlamps just in case) so I am ready...
More later

Mixed feelings today!

Anxious...As usual monies have a lot to do with how I'm feeling today. I am short of it this coming month and I'm trying NOT to let it rule me. I will find a way to deal with it WITHOUT turning to food for comfort. I dread the next couple of months due to the holidays..Mainly because if I don't work I don't get paid. With my type of work I don't get any benefits..no Paid Holidays...In October the family I work for will be taking a vacation to the seaside..I'm happy for them but since I live on a very tight budget the three days I won't be working mean that I will be really strapped for monies. Not sure how I'm going to handle it but I know that EATING anything I can get my hands on is not the answer..

Happy...I weighed myself this morning and I'm down another 2 pounds..Whoohooo..I've been doing pretty good on eating..not that I'm on a "DIET" but I've been trying to balance my meals and to limit my snacks.
I've found that when I eat a good supper/dinner with protein and carbs I'm not so hungry at night..I still have the urge to "graze" as soon as I get home but have found that is more of a reflex than real hunger...usually a cup of hot tea take care of the problem..Been pretty much on with taking pictures (this seems to really work for me) except on Sunday..(I'm not going to "beat" myself up over it but TRY not to let it happen to often,...and make sure I get right back on track..(which I did yesterday).

Hopeful...My goal for October is to get down below 210 pounds. I goal for 2010 is by Christmas to weigh less than 200 pounds..I know that this shouldn't be all that hard because I've 3 months to lose 15 pounds but every time I set a timeline for a goal I seem to sabotage myself and I don't want to set myself up for that so I'm going to go month my month...October will be a challenge because of the monies but I will find a way..If determination is all I have then I will use that to the full extent..I may end up eating soups most of the month but hey..I like soups..NO Halloween candies for this girl!..

Proud..this past week I accomplished 2 of my goals...I went hiking and I walked/ran in a 5K..I'm not sure what I will do for an exercise goal for October yet but I'm looking out for something.  I would love to do some backpacking but since I work weekends and don't have the monies to take off, it looks like I will have to wait on this one..I'm going to set new goals for October!

Jealous..I see my friends doing things I would love to be doing..like backpacking, going out to nice restaurants...etc..all things that I can't do right now because of MONIES...but I'm not letting it eat me up..I know there are things I CAN do and I will find them..

Thankful....that I have a place that I can come and put all my feeling out there with out the fear of being judged...and to know that I'm not alone in this stuggle to find myself.