Where does the time go?

Wow, It's been over 3 months since  I was last here. How time flies! I wish I could say I've been busy losing the extra weight but that would be a big fat lie...I've pretty much decided that the more I focus on my weight problem the more depressed I get so instead I've been focusing on other things...

Since the last time I was here I've had a birthday and turned 61 years young...I didn't go crazy over getting older. I've pretty much accepted that there isn't anything I can do to stop from getting old except to enjoy the life I have. My group Thus had our annual April Party where all of us (7 people) who have birthdays in April could celebrate. We had it at my friend's J house, who is spending the summer in Paris, and surprise, surprise, our theme this year was France...She had her house set up like we were in France..it was so much fun.

I'm still struggling to learn French. I think I've got it down and then I wake up in the morning and I can't remember hardly what I've learned. It's weird that I can read french but have a terrible time speaking it..I can remember what a word is when I read it but ask me what a word in English is and I can't remember...But I'm not giving up..The way I figure is that it took me many years to learn to speak English (as a child) and French is much harder...

I'm back playing racquetball (sort of). My friend "T" wanted to learn and she is also learning French and struggling with her weight so we decided to try something different. When we play racquetball we keep score in French and try to only talk in French..it can get pretty hilarious...

My younger sister came to Georgia for a month to visit her daughters (both live here) and see her new granddaughter. We visited a few times but probably not as much as we should have. I like seeing her but she also depresses me. She likes to live in the past and that's not what I am about anymore. She still acts like she is back in the 70's. I love her but I'm glad that she lives in Wyoming. I know that's not nice but that's me!

The job is going okay...Princess Val has her good days and her bad days...the worst part of my job is putting up with her Dad. He is so negative about everything that some days I just want to smack him in the head. I don't understand how people can live with that attitude...it's so hateful.

I'm headed for work now and then I'll hit the gym afterwards.
A la porchaine! Plus tard!

Social life!

                                                                                                                                                                                        I went to the High Museum last night with my two friends and we had so much fun. It was storming but we were inside so it didn't matter to us once we got downtown to the Museum.

My friends "T" and "J"..."J" on the right is the person who is planning on moving to Paris in the future! Maybe the next time I can post a picture of the real Eiffel Tower!

The event was the Dans le Moment and the artists was Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (French, 1864-1901)

I absolutely fell in love with this print ..I'm not sure why but it just speaks to me. I truly have no taste when it comes to art but every once in a while I will see something different that I really like..most of the pictures in my house are scenery type pictures (how boring!) .

Some of the artists models

Oh la la...these Mademoiselles knew how to dress for  the event!!!



Quirky hat..I loved it!



Keeping active!

I'm feeling so much better these day. I have a confession to make. I did something that I've always said I wouldn't do. I ordered some pills from the internet. I kept seeing this ad on FB for low thyroid so I checked it out and decided that I would order some just to see how they worked. Usually I don't believe all this quick fix scams but this one seemed to check out. So I started on the little yellow pill a week and half ago and I actually feel better. I lost 2 pounds and have more energy again. Whooohooo. It may just be all in my mind but for now I don't think it's hurting anything.

My friend "T" that I go walking with at the park is having car and money problems so I haven't been for a couple of weeks..I know I should go even without her..I guess I haven't been motivated enough because I accept the excuse that I can't afford the gas money..
I suggested to "T" if when her daughter graduates in 3 months and moves out if she would consider moving in with me and share the expenses. Not sure if it's the right thing for either of us but it would help both of us, even if it's only temporary.

I'm really getting immerged into learning the French. This past Monday night I went to a Meetup for French. It was fun meeting new people and listening to French being spoken in a regular setting, instead of tapes and cd's.  This coming Saturday, the High Museum is having an event called Dans le Moment, with music, burlecque dancers and Parisian street food, and "T", "J" and I are going. We're going to meet up with some of our new friends that we met this past Monday night. It should be a blast. I can't wait.

I've went to the gym on Tues night and really pushed myself. I did the treadmill and then lower body (legs) by the time I left I was soaking wet with sweat. That's how good I feel. I've got my gym bag packed to go tonight to work upper body (arms)..

I've been pretty good about not doing the "mindless eating" this past week. I seem to be satisfied when I eat my regular meals. Not sure if it's the little pill or not, but what ever works is good with me.

Got to head out for work now but I'll be back for More Later!

I need someone to be accountalbe to!

I see it's been almost a month since I've actually blogged my thoughts...cartoons don't really count! It seems like if I miss a couple of days it's harder to get back on track. I use the excuse that since no one really is reading this blog but me that it won't matter that I miss a few days. Then there are the days that  I just don't have anything I want to say. I haven't even been going to other blogs to get motivated and to see how everyone else is doing. I miss Grumpy..and wonder if she is having the same problem I am or if she just didn't want to "waste" her time blogging.

I wish I could say that in this last month my life has gotten better...but I can't...it hasn't gotten worse either.
I still haven't gone to the doctor to see if I have a Thyroid problem..not having any medical insurance or extra money is part of it but mostly because I have this adversion to doctors. I spent soo much time with Larry in the hospital and at doctors to no avail that I've come to believe that doctors may have alot of knowledge but mostly they can only guess at what the problem is and that the doctors of old who really cared for thier patients as people are no longer out there..now a days the medical profession is just that " profession". Doctors are out there only to make money..they don't even see you as a person..they certainly don't remember you as soon as they leave the room. Enough of the ranting..the question is Where does that leave me as far as my health goes? I'll have to get back to that after I've figured it out.

February being a short month (only 28 days) really hurt in my paychecks this month. I get paid only for the days I work so being shorted 2 days on my last paycheck of the month which i usually to pay my living expenses (electric, phones, water, etc) really hurt. My salary is pretty much at the bottom of the totem pole anyway. I tell myself that I am lucky that I have a job..there are so many people out there out of work right now...but it doesn't make it any easier for me when I have to figure out how to eat on $15 a week, because food is the only thing I am able to cut back on. This doesn't help when you are trying to eat healty and lose weight..I can eat on that amount and keep full but mostly it consists of garbage.

I have done something POSITIVE for myself this past month. I've taken up learning French again. I tried a couple of years ago and got discouraged because I just never got the "rolling of the R". But this time I have some friends who are helping me.  My friend "J" is actually planning on moving to France in a couple of years and my dream is to be able to go visit her when she does. I've joined a couple of French Clubs through Meetup.com. besides meeting up with 4 of my friends (J included) every Weds night at a french restruarant to go over what I have learned..I been signed up for About.com French for years and have been saving all my emails from them and am now going back and learning. I also have a set of tapes that I got years ago by Berlitz which I've dug out again and listen to in my truck on my way to work..as you can see..I am determined to learn this time. I just hope I can retain what I learn this time..

As far as my exercise is going...I was walking at the park with "T" for a couple of Sundays and it was nice, but she is having car problems and I'm using the excuse that I don't have the money for gas to drive all the way to the park right now.  I've hit the gym a couple of times a week but I know I need to go more often and get a real good workout. I just wish I could get motivated again. I'm fine once I get there and get started but I seem to find excused NOT to go. And I hate coming here writing about those excuses.

I haven't weighed myself this past month and I'm not sure when I will.

I hate that I sound so blah but that's how I feel today. At least I came here..
Last thought for the day...Why is it that when I'm at work on Saturday when I can't get out of the house (like yesterday),the weather is beautiful and then on Sunday (like today) when I can, it's cloudy and gloomy..I hate
it!
More later (I promise)

Still laughing!

A laugh for the day!

Choices

Change Begins with Choice, by Jim Rohn


Any day we wish, we can discipline ourselves to change it all.

Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity, and create a new Reality! Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.

We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause.

As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives.

And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life: If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life. And it all begins with your very own power of choice.

A friend sent this to me today. Good Stuff ! and oh so true!

ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE

I’m remembering what it was like to be “Obese” right after Lar passed away. All the pains and aggravations of being overweight and I’m realizing that that all the signs are there that I’m getting close to being right back where I was when I started this Long journey 8 years ago.

From July 2003 to October 2007 I went from weighing 235 pounds to 159 pounds (most of my weight loss I lost the first year and maintained for at least 2 years). I went from a size 22 pants to a size 10 (and they were getting too big). I felt so good.

Since October 2007 I have gained until I weighed-in today at 217 pounds and I put on size 16 pants…so although I’m not at my heaviest weight (which was 276 pounds back in 1998) I weigh more than I want to at this time in my life. If I don’t stop and change things today all the signs are there that I’m headed in the wrong direction.
REMEMBERING BACK TO 2003…. I hurt all over (especially my feet).
I could hardly walk…I remember going into WalMart using the cart from the parking lot to support myself because my feet and ankles hurt so much to walk. (My feet have started to hurt again, not as bad as then but still the Signs are there.)
My thighs rubbed together so bad that all of my pants had holes in the inseams, and I couldn’t were shorts or a skirt because then I would get a rash between the legs from sweating. (I’m back to this NOW..the Sign is There.)
When I looked down my belly was bigger than my boobs.
I wore "Granny Panties” and they would roll under my belly. (I’m back to this and I hate it…I want my sexy undies back)
I couldn’t catch my breath when I walked.
Going up a few stairs was pure agony on my knees.
Having the steering wheel up as far as it would go so I would fit behind it.

WHAT I DID IN 2003 TO CHANGE
I think the two things that helped me the most once I made up my mind that I wanted a new life was First, I signed up for a gym and hired a personal trainer. AND I stuck to it! I made myself go even when I didn’t want to. I started out easy, taking one day at a time. Second, I went on line and signed up for a support group (eDiets). I also started taking vitamins and supplements. I had a protein drink for breakfast every morning and drank at least 100 oz of water daily.

I'm hoping that by looking back at what I learned the last time I took off weight that I can do the same again.
I need to find WHY I gained this weight back this time..What I didn't do to keep it off...and WHY it isn't coming off this time although I've gone back to exercising at the gym.  I won't hire a PT this time..no monies, altho I think they are great for keeping a person on track and making sure my form is correct but after having one for 2 years, I feel that I pretty much know what I need to be doing at the gym..
I do know that my diet has changed..not so much of WHAT I eat but When I eat. When I lost the weight I was eating 5 small meals a day..now I eat 1-2  meals a day and snack in the evenings..

Need to pay attention to the signs and get my life back on track.
More later

Lost Opportunities

Again I’ve been so bad about blogging. Mostly because I’ve been bad about getting serious about losing this weight. I do want to lose weight I just don’t want to have to think about it all the time and work to lose the weight. I KNOW that’s WRONG and that it will do me NO good. If I don’t get serious about this SOON I will be back to the weight I was 8 years ago before Lar passed away. I really don’t want to be there.

I had some of my friends over last Saturday night and we sat around my new firepit and drank wine. They brought snacks to eat, humus & crackers. It was nice.

I should have gone for a walk at the park on Sunday but I used the excuses that I was too tired since we stayed up until the wee hours and no one wanted to do the walk with me. I remember a time (a few years ago) when this wouldn’t have stopped me. In fact I’ve always enjoyed walking by myself at my favorite park so I KNOW that I gave into my IC.

My neighbor “E” was suppose to come Saturday night but I got a call from her on Saturday telling me that she couldn’t come. I told her she had best have a really good excuse for not coming since I had just talked to her on Thursday night and she said she would love to come. She then told me that after she hung up from talking to me she started to have a pain in her stomach and that it got so bad that she called her Mom to take her to the hospital.

She had surgery on Friday for a perforated Colon and was in the hospital when she called me. Now that’s what I call a REALLY good excuse. She was told on Tuesday that she had a tumor and it was positive for cancer. The docs think they got it all but she has to do Chemo. I feel so bad that I have let our friendship fall to the side so much that she didn’t think to call me that night when she needed someone. When Lar was alive we saw each other a lot. Since his death we both have gone our own way, not seeing each other for weeks. Over the past few months we have been trying to get together more. I will watch her dog Morgan for her when she needs me. One of my new goals for this year is to be a better friend. I’ve never been good at keeping up friendships. I’ve always left it up to the other person to carry on, but I’m going to work on it with the rest of the stuff I have to work on..

I didn’t go to the gym at all last week for one reason or other. I did work in my yard raking for four hours on Monday and that’s about all the exercise I got all week. I really couldn’t tell you what I ate all week…except the box of Girl Scout Cookies (I remember those). I should have walked Morgan (my neighbors dog) but again I didn’t. A lost opportunity!
I did get off my  FB (in my case it's not FaceBook but Fat Butt) and signed up for 2 hikes this morning. The first on is this coming Monday afternoon.. I almost let my IC convince me that I couldn’t do it because I can’t afford the gas monies to get to the park..(it’s on the other side of town) and that with this extra weight I’ve gained this past couple of weeks I won’t be able to keep up with everyone. Then I looked over the description of the hike again this morning and it looks like one I can do (there are 5 other 60+ people on the hike so I WILL NOT use my age as an excuse). I’ll just have to figure out the monies because I really do want to go.

I went to the gym tonight and had a good workout. I pushed myself pretty hard. Did a lower body workout. I sure hope my legs don't hurt me on Monday...that's the risk I take going to the gym. I'm planning on working my upper body tomorrow night. I like going on Saturday night because I can workout in the weight room.  The last time I was there I had a really good looking guy "spot" for me. 

Life goes on! More later!

More on Memory

 I'm realizing that my diet needs a drastic change so am looking at what I should be eating and what I am eating....I think that due to my yoyo dieting  (gaining and losing weight) over the years I first need to adjust my metabolism.

Per Jillian I need to do the following:
 " What you'll need to do is the exact opposite of what we call shocking the metabolism; you have to allow your body time to adapt to a new metabolic set point — by being consistent, you'll force your body to adapt.

Okay, here's the game plan: First, set your daily caloric intake at 12 calories per pound of body weight. (For example, my weight is 217; 217 x 12 = 2,604 calories a day.) Then stick like glue to that calorie allowance for at least one to two months, depending on your metabolism. This will allow your body time to readjust your metabolic set point accordingly."

I know that 2600 calories a day sounds like a lot..but not if I eat the right foods...I'm not sure how many calories a day I am eating right now..but truthfully it's probably more. So here's MY plan..
First I have to start tracking how many calories I consuming a day..
(One step at a time for me)

Also I found this article this morning as a reminder of WHAT I should be eating and if it helps my memory all the better!

Get a Memory Boost From Food
Worried about declining memory and brain health? Feed your brain memory food to help improve your cognition.
By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
You exercise your body and your mind with regular workouts and challenges like sudoku and crossword puzzles. You learn memory tips and tricks to improve recall, and teach your brain new things all in an effort to boost mental fitness. But don't forget what your brain really needs to help keep memory strong — memory food.

Memory Boost: How Food Supports Your Brain
Your entire body needs the right nutrients to keep it healthy, and your brain is no exception. Your brain benefits from a variety of nutrients, including fats, proteins, vitamins, and sugars, to help keep it sharp, offer protection against cell damage, and help it function properly. What’s more, the right foods also can provide the perfect fuel to improve memory.
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Health Benefits of Smart Nutrition
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Memory Boost: Build a Diet With Memory Foods
Here are the nutrients that can give your brain a memory boost:

Unsaturated fatty acids. These healthy fats can help reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and are found in foods like olive and sesame oil, avocados, peanuts, walnuts, and pecans.

Omega-3 fatty acids. These fatty acids also help protect your brain from dementia and improve your memory. They’re found in fatty fish that swim in cold water, like trout, mackerel, and salmon.

Brightly colored fruits. Give yourself a memory boost with dark berries that help keep blood vessels in the brain clear and protect brain cells from damage. Eat fruits like blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries. Blueberries and similar foods have been shown to actually reverse age-related memory shortfalls in humans and animals. Oranges, cherries, plums, and red grapes are also great memory food.

Leafy and colorful vegetables. Vegetables also protect the brain from damage and deteriorating memory, so eat lots of bright greens in the form of broccoli, spinach, kale, sprouts, bell peppers, and asparagus. Eggplant, corn, and even onions are also good memory food veggies.

Essential vitamins. Vitamin E, C, B12, and folic acid are belong in a brain-healthy diet to improve memory. A diet rich in a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, as well as legumes (like beans), can provide you with plenty of vitamins for a good memory boost. But you may also want to consider taking a supplement to make sure you get all of the vitamins you need.

Glucose. Your body needs glucose for energy, and studies have shown that a little bit of natural sugar can help boost memory and cognitive function — just don't feast on high-fat cakes or processed foods, which can slow down the energy glucose offers your brain.

Whole grains. Eat whole-wheat breads, pastas, and brown rice to give your brain energy to improve memory and also maintain heart health.
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Most of this I already eat now but it does me good to have a reminder now and then.

Need to Improve my Memory

I've started back on my French lessons..the problem is I have forgotten most of what I had learned a couple of years ago when I started. I have the Berlitz tapes (they are really old) but my tape player is giving me trouble...but at least I have the books. I do have several friends that speak French but they lose me everytime because of my memory..so I'm looking into finding ways to improve my memory. I found the following article that gives some good tips.

10 Tips to Improve Your Memory

Try the ideas on this memory tip list to give yourself a brain boost.
By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH


Having trouble remembering appointments, items you need at the grocery store, or where you put your keys? Everyone has moments when something slips their mind. If this has been happening to you with increasing frequency, try doing a few easy brain exercises each day to help improve memory.

Luckily, mental workouts can be just as effective for your brain as physical workouts are for your body.
Memory Tip: 10 Ways to Improve Memory
Start with the first tip and then add one more idea each day to help improve your memory:

1. Focus on what you're trying to remember. Take time to think about what you need to remember, whether it's a list of names, chores, or items to buy. Spending a few moments actively processing your thoughts can make it easier to recall what you need to remember in the future.

2. Link your list. Try to remember several things or ideas at once by linking them together in your mind. If you want to memorize your grocery list, for instance, connect the items you need together with a specific image or action in your head. Imagine you're in your laundry room holding a container of detergent, then walk into your kitchen to get some bread and milk, then move to the bathroom to replenish the toilet paper. ****I guess who ever wrote this doesn't realize that I can go to a room and not remember WHY I'm there...LOL

3. Personalize your list. Organize lists into short, manageable sections, and try to connect items to something that's easier for you to remember. Improve memory by linking lists of numbers, for example, to personally relevant dates like your birthday or interesting historical dates.

4. Create a visual image. If you're trying to remember someone's name, visualize an object that will help remind you in the future. Think of summer for a woman named June or a cat for someone named Catherine.

5. Create an acronym. Train your brain to remember items in a specific sequence by creating a word to represent the objects. Try using the first letter of each item on your shopping list to form a word. For instance, MOST can stand for milk, oranges, soap, toilet paper. *** This may work for some but I can never remember what acronym I gave it. I don't need more to remember.

6. Use all of your senses to help improve memory. Afraid you're going to forget your next hair appointment or dinner with a friend? Verbally list your appointments out loud and then think about the softness of your hair after a salon visit and the aroma of the food at your favorite restaurant to help solidify the dates in your mind.

7. Write it down. Even if you don't actually use your list or a note to remind you of an appointment, simply writing the information down will help your brain retain it.


8. Create a rhyme. How did you learn the alphabet or the number of days in each month when you were little? You probably learned them with the help of a song or rhyme. Try doing the same thing with names, appointments, and lists. ****Again I don't need MORE to remember!!!!! I have never been able to remember the words to songs..even nursery rhymes I always got wrong!

9. Make it manageable. Organize a long list into shorter lists that are easier to remember. Instead of trying to remember a dozen different items, create four mini-lists with only three things you need to remember from each.

10. Be positive. Don't doubt yourself — our brains can often do more than we realize. Regularly practice these tips to help improve memory, and you'll be amazed by how much more you can remember.

Memory Tip: 4 Brain Exercises
There are a number of other ways you can strengthen your memory. Try these strategies and exercises to keep your brain and memory sharp:

1. Be organized. Keep lists and notes, and maintain an appointment book.

2. Challenge your mind and body. Try new physical and mental activities like yoga, ballroom dancing, tai chi, or chess.

3. Play mind games. Do crossword puzzles, read as much as possible, and play games like Scrabble or sudoku.


4. Keep yourself guessing. Stimulate your brain by taking an unusual route to work or by using your opposite hand to do simple activities like placing your key in the door, putting on makeup, stirring your food, or brushing your teeth. ****I don't think so...I'm confused enough without adding to it!

Forgetting things can make you feel flustered and disorganized. But regular workouts for your mind can improve memory and boost your overall brain power. Once you figure out which memory tips work best for you, it’s possible that you’ll never forget a name, birthday, or that last item on your grocery list ever again.
Learn more in the Everyday Health Healthy Living Center.

Food for thought today!

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be. ~Robert Brault,

My right upper arm

is sore today...I did get outside yesterday and I raked my yard for 4 hrs. It whooped my butt! The sad thing is I only got about 1/4 of my yard done..I did get the back yard and part of the side yard done and it looks so "pruty". I'm surprised that it's my arm is sore and not my legs...there was a lot of bending over and squats going on as I picked up all the piles of leaves and pinestraw..I put the pinestraw around my trees in the front yard which saves me monies (and who isn't all about saving monies these days) because I don't have to go and buy pinestraw. It's not as clean as the pinestraw that you buy but hey it works. I used to spend lots of time on my yard when Lar was alive but in the past 8 years I have really let it go. 

I'm thinking with the cost of gas that I might buy this reel mower.
Home Depot has them for $139. It would be good exercise for me and I couldn't use the excuse that I don't have money for gas this week.
This one has a catcher which I like.  There are cheaper ones but I like this one. I remember when my daughter was little I lived in an apartment building where I maintained the yard for money off my rent and I only had a reel mower then (of course this was over 20 years ago) and the yard was on a hill. It was work but I did it and the yard looked good.
The only thing that concerns me is that I have a lot of pine cones and those stupid little Sweetgum balls in my yard and I'm not sure that the blades won't be stuck on them all the time. I guess this will give me the incentive to make sure I finish with the raking of the yard.

I feel like I had a pretty good weekend. I've got 3 hikes lined up for Feb 28, Mar 6 & Mar 20th with my AOC group. Not sure if I'm going to end up doing all 3 but for sure I'm going to do the one on the 28th, it is on a Monday and if there is time we will visit an old cemetery (which I love doing..I know weird). I'm trying to talk some of my Thus friends on doing the one on the 6th because it's close. So far no takers on this one..They'll walk at a park with me but no hiking..

I've got my lunch and my gym bag packed for the day. I've gotten my daily read of Jack Sh*t and am ready to go to work.

More later!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've never been one to "celebrate" Valentine's Day. I do like Valentine's Day because I know that it means Spring is just around the corner. My Daffodils and Crocus's are popping through the ground and before you know it I will have flowers. I can see out my window here in the office that it is a beautiful day. The sun is shining. I love this time of year!

I went for my Sunday walk at the park yesterday with two of my friends. It was a leisurely walk with lots of talking and laughing but we did take the more strenuous route (with all the hills) so I'm not going to feel guilty about not pushing myself. I needed the time with my friends! They talked me into having a little get together next Saturday night at my house to break in my fire pit that I got for Christmas. I was going to have one a couple of weeks ago but then we got the BIG snowstorm and I cancelled.

I keep telling myself that I need to get the yard raked and then I go out and I'm too cold so I come right back into the house and then do nothing. I did this last weekend and yesterday. So today I'm going to bundle up and see if I can at least get the back yard done..That's where we will be having the "get together".  No excuses for me today..

More later!

Age!

Truthfully I've never had a problem with my age until this year...Getting older has not bothered me and I've always been one to not be afraid to tell how old I am. I know that most women freak when they turn 50 years old..I didn't!!!  I don't know what it is about turning 60 that has got me obsessing about age.

I don't know how I'm suppose to dress or act now that I am a "senior citizen"..And WHY it all makes a difference! .I don't feel "OLD" most of the time unless I stop and think about it or I look at myself in mirror and see all the wrinkles and how much older I look now than I did just a year ago and I don't know WHY I aged so fast..It's scary when I look down at my hands and see old hands or I see the age spots appearing on my arms. I keep telling myself they are just BIG freckles and believe me I have always had a lot of freckles (they go with the red hair)...Then I worry about whether I'm looking like one of those "old ladies" that are trying to look young.

I spoke to my Mom who is in her 80 tonight (my weekly call to her) in Wyoming. She was the most active person I've ever known until about 5 years ago, and know she uses a walker and has short term memory loss due. She has always been a "Character"..
In fact my sister who checks on her daily posted this story on Face book:
I went over to my Moms and she didn't have her glasses on. When I asked where her glasses were, she said, "Oh! I wear glasses? I was seeing just fine until you told me I wear glasses."

This is how I feel about being old...I feel fine until I'm reminded that I'm old!!!

I worry that I shouldn't dye my hair so dark but when I've tried lighter colors in the past I've hated it...I felt drab and ugly..Let me just say that my hairdresser who I go to to get my hair cut loves the color that I dye my hair...and I do get a lot of compliments from strangers telling me they love the color. I've always been the type to go for bright and colorful colors..I love being different from everyone else..not that I want to stand out but hey if you have it "flaunt" it.  At least I'm not doing the "Flaming Red" hair anymore..but I do still drive a "Raspberry" (pink) color truck.

I went by the blogging name of Sexy Sue for years and just changed it to Lady Sue this past year because I'm uncomfortable with being Sexy right now...it's hard to be sexy when you weigh over 200 pounds and are 60 years old.

I think that's one of the reasons I've been lurking at other blogs, trying to find if there are any other 60+ olds out there going through the same thing I am. I do find a lot of 50 year olds, which is something I didn't find 5 years ago when I was blogging and I do enjoy their blogs..But..there's a big difference from being in your 50's and being in your 60's. I know 5 years ago I didn't have any of these worries. I figured that if people didn't like how I looked or how I acted they didn't have to look at me.  I now worry that I will embarrass my family..although I really think  I've broken them in years ago to expect the unexpected from me. The stories they tell.....Not going there!

Not sure where I'm going with this blog..just something that is bothering me so thought if I put it in writing I could get myself over the obsessing...Not sure it worked! LOL
I'm off to bed...More later!

Looking for Motivation

I've spent all my time this morning "lurking" at other blogs looking for motivation and now I don't have time to blog myself...OH NO! I can't believe how fast time goes when you are having fun!

I've added two new sites and hopefully friends (even if they don't know it) to my blog. Janelle @ Simply Healthy  and Jane @ Jane Is Weighing In.

I'm off work tomorrow and am planning on going to the park for a nice walk with friends (hopefully)..
For now I've got my gym bag and lunch packed and am off to work..Fun Fun!

More Later

Motivation?

I need to get myself together and start pushing to do the things I know I need to. I've been letting myself ride on exercise and eating healthy. Just can't seem to push myself to the point I need to. I went to the gym last night but used the excuse that there were too many people there to really push myself. I didn't give into the "inner child" who was pouting because there wasn't a treadmill or elliptical available. I did 20 mins on the bike instead..I hate the bike..it hurts my a$$...not good on the hymroids (MITN)..and then although I should have done lower body, I did upper body instead. I haven't done lower body forever...I hate leg workouts..I love the feeling of being strong by pushing my weights up on upper body...
This morning I drugged myself out of bed and did my own Ab workout...
This is the same workout I did last week...but then I didn't do anything else the rest of the week..I need to break this routine and get in more days of exercise.
The only exercise I get at work is going up and down the stairs to check on Princess Val.. Most of the day I sit and read my book.
Need to go and get ready for work...
Took my supplements this morning!
Got my gym bag packed.
Got my soup for lunch ready.
More Later

It's the little things in life that matter!

Pretty good day so far. I got up first thing this morning, put on my Mountain Serenity CD and did my AB workout and some nice relaxing stretches. I love this CD..it has birds chirping and waterfalls in the background of flute music. I bought it years ago and forgot all about it..

 Then I took my supplements/vitamins. I bought this pillbox which has really helped me in remembering to take them.
This has been one of my better buys lately..And it was cheap!

I had an egg with spinach and a cup of tea for breakfast (sorry no picture I ate it before I thought of getting my cell phone out to take one).
It was good. I did use one whole egg and one egg white and some spinach that is getting wilted..

I went to the gym last night and did a mile on the treadmill and then worked my upper body to failure. It felt good. I even got one of the guys to spot me so I could up my weights on the bench press. I may not be losing weight but I will definitely reshape my body and get strong.
I'll probably be the OLDEST STRONG FAT Lady around the gym soon...

Off to work...More later!

Work in progress!

"All the scars of my life, both physical and emotional, are but brush strokes on the masterpiece that is me. I am a work in progress"  Darkwroth

I made it through Monday which was Lar's B'day. Sometimes it feel like just yesterday he was here with me and then days like Monday it feels like forever ago that he was able to hold me in his arms. Nine years is just a drop in the bucket unless you are living them without the one you love. I know that I will always miss him and that life does go on for me so I need to keep focused on making myself the best that I can. I will give myself a little time to grieve because I've found that when I bury those feelings they only grow bigger.
 
Sunday I went for a walk in the park with my friend Tee. It was such a beautiful sunny day. I had asked a few of my friends but Tee was the only one who made it. She and I are planning on making it a weekly (Sunday) thing.  We are both about the same size and both of us love the outdoors. She walks a little slower than me so I didn't have to worry about slowing her down.  Tee has a teenage daughter that she has to do a lot of running around for so she doesn't get much time for herself. She does go the the same gym as I do (that's where we met years ago) but she goes at a different time than I do and she does the step class (which I don't). I would like to include a couple more of our friends and make this more social. I've realized that I've been keeping myself away from my friends because of my money situation.  I hate not having the monies to do all the things they do..but Tee is pretty much in the same situation so we will find things that we can afford to do...her biggest problem right now is finding time for herself. Her daughter will be graduation from high school this year so she has big plans on what she will do after her daughter leaves for college.
 
I find that I have good days when I feel that I can accomplish anything and then I have days when all I want to do is fold up into a ball and hide. I've been struggling with the changes I feel with aging. I know that 60 years old isn't all that old but some days my body tells me that it is. When I look in the mirror I can see the changes..I guess we always expect to look young (or at least dream that we will)...I just have to find a way to live with these changes...Everything seems to be going south on me...I'm afraid of what I will look like when (not if) I do lose weight..what if all this sagging skin only gets worse? I guess the only way to find out is to do it.
 
Do not worry about Tomorrow.
For Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each Day has enough troubles of it's own.
After All Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday.
 
More later I'm off to work!

Jeans

So I've been wearing these baggy stretchy pants (on the right) because I thought they looked more "age appropriate" and I also thought they were more comfortable than my regular jeans that got too tight on me.  With my reflux I have to be careful not to wear tight clothes around my stomach because it causes the acids to back up on me and I cough more than I normally do. The thing is with these pants I feel sloppy and fat.

The other day I found these stretchy jeans (in the same size) at WalMart on sale (on the left) which are form fitting. I love them but am worried that at my age I should be wearing the baggy pants. With these pants I find myself holding in my stomach and standing up straighter. I love the way the feel on my legs. They do have a stretch waistband so they are not tight on my stomach (YAY) so no more reflux than usual...

 So I decided to take a picture (with my cell phone) of me in both with everything the same except the pants to compare and  see which one I feel looks better. I really tried to get the same position and I think I got close but WOW what a difference. I don't care if it isn't "age appropriate" to wear the tighter (I like to call them my skinny jeans) ones and I want to buy another pair in blue jean color.  I think it's important to feel good about what you are wearing. (I like my calves in the tighter pants)...
More Later

Not giving up

just haven't been able to organize my mind enough to sit down and actually type up a blog.  When I'm in my truck I can think of all kinds of things (not boring) to write but when I sit down to my computer it's all gone..my mind is blank or there is so much jumbled in there that I can't get  a coherent sentence out.

I still haven't gone to the doc to check out to see if it is my Thyroid but I have gone to the gym a few times and I did a Abs workout this morning while listening to an old CD that I found..Mountain Serenity...cool music with bird calls and waterfall sounds..very relaxing. I feel better today than I have been. That could be because I've been going to bed early..I've been so cold that it seems the only place I can get warm is in my bed...I do have a tv in my bedroom so I've been watching it in the evenings.

My friend C gave me his old laptop that he had dropped and #1 niece fixed it for me so the plan is for me to take it to work with me and maybe I can come up with some good blogs and post them. We'll see how that works...no promises...I did call the phone company and sign up for DSL service so no more dial up..that should make my life easier?

More later!

I just don't get it!

Last week I didn't do a bit of exercise...No gym, no TaeBo workout & none of the new workout program.
I was discouraged because the week that I did ALL I gained ...true it was only .5 pounds but come on, here I was sweating my butt off morning and night and I still couldn't even get a .5 pound loss...instead I gained...So when the snowstorm hit I was depressed..couldn't get out to the gym if I wanted too...and I just couldn't find the motivation to pop in the TaeBo workout and definitely didn't want to do the new workout with the dreaded "Inchworm"...So for 3 days I stayed home and did absolutely nothing...just sat around and watched the news on tv...oh yeah I did clean up my spare room the first day of the storm but truthfully that only took me about a half hour and there wasn't all that much "exercise" to it. It felt good knowing the room was clean enough so that IF I had company and they saw it they wouldn't think me a "slob". The 4th day of the storm I did go out and shovel my driveway..that was a workout and it took me 3 hours...but otherwise there was NO exercise all last week....
Anyway I decided that I would weigh myself this morning....a scary thing...I said my little prayer that I didn't gain but at least stayed the same weight...Would you believe I LOST 2 pounds...I just don't get it!

I've been checking into Hypothyroidism....I'm thinking that I might have a thyroid problem...from the article I read it seems that women 60 yrs and older are at the highest risk. What is hypothyroidism?

Hypothyroidism means your thyroid is not making enough thyroid hormone. The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck. It makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy.

Most of the signs are there for me...
weight gain, dry skin & brittle nails, depression, bothered by cold,  & memory problems. It's been weird for me that I never had any problem losing weight 5 years ago doing the same things I'm doing now. I noticed my nails about a month ago and figured I wasn't getting enough nutrients in my diet. I've dealt with depression all my life but lately it seems to hit me more often and is harder for me to control. This past summer I noticed that I'm always cold at night...I've always loved going backpacking in the winter more than summer but I just couldn't face the cold this past winter, I figured it was due to the weight I'm carrying but now I'm thinking maybe there is something physically wrong with me...It would be nice if my memory loss is something physical too...it worries me that I have such a hard time remembering things...especially since I love to learn. I know that I'm in line for Alzheimer's and worry about it but knowing that there really isn't anything I can do about that now I just try to live my life to the fullest I can. And to do that I need to be as fit as I can get. There are so many things I still want to do NOW...and my weight is keeping me from doing it...so what is the answer?
Since I don't have health insurance I'm going to check into one of these "minute clinics" to see if they can do the blood test to test for Hypothyroidism. In ways it would be nice to have an answer and know that there is a treatment for it...My #1 niece is on medication for it...so I know it runs in the family...


I did do my new workout this morning...not because I think it's going to help me lose this weight but because I feel better if I exercise...I made a commitment to doing this 12 week workout program and I'm not going to let a little setback stop me from completing it.
As always I go forward...never letting obstacles get in my way...leaping over tall building here...see my cape flying in the sky. LOL

Day 6 of Atlanta Snowstorm

 Tip:There's no such thing as failure. There's only feedback. Stop judging yourself & start recognizing it for what it is, an entry point for learning. The truth is, if you're not failing then you're not really reaching & really trying. If you don't like the outcome of a situation, learn from it, make corrections & reap...proach wiser & stronger until you achieve your goals. Success is in big part a matter of attrition. Jullian Michaels on FB

Day 4 the sun is finally shining and I make it to work!



Let it snow....someplace else!

 It hasn't been a good past week for me...I'm still having trouble getting motivated and am still not feeling well.
More later!

Why?

Why is it so easy to get discouraged and so hard to stay motivated?
Still have this headache (might be from too much reading) and achy feeling all over this morning. Didn't do any exercise.
I'm on my way over to a friends (an that all he is "a friend") place maybe he can cheer me up and help me get motivated. He has an old laptop he's giving me. He dropped it and it isn't working so he got a new one instead of getting it fixed. All I have to do is see about getting it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take much to fix. Will let my #1 niece look at it..she's good at that kind of thing.

I like my new look on the blog...but still not in the mood to be witty or insightful..maybe tomorrow will be better.
More later

not feeling good about myself

I did a no no yesterday and weighed myself.(instead of waiting til Monday)..I was hoping for maybe a .5# loss but instead I've gained .5#..
Not sure what is going on with my body...it might be something medically wrong with me (like a thyroid problem) but since I don't have any medical insurance I won't be going to a doctor to find out. I'll just have to keep trying my own way. I didn't do any workout yesterday because I'm still dealing with a headache and some bowel problems (also being discouraged), still not feeling too good today so didn't workout again this morning. I still have my 3rd workout for this week to do and I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow (my day off) so I can get it done. I will say that if this workout didn't have the dreaded "Inchworm" I would have probably done it no matter how I felt this morning (haha so I tell myself)...

I need an attitude adjustment today...good thing I'm off work tomorrow...We are expecting a big snow storm to come in latter tomorrow so I need to get to the store to buy "whatever" I need in case I get snowed in...LOL...Atlanta is so funny about that...I do have firewood, candles and my books (and 3 headlamps just in case) so I am ready...
More later

Running late AGAIN!

But I did do my TaeBo (really pushed myself and sweated up a storm..whoohooo), Vitamins & Supplements taken, did my dishes and paid my bills on line so I think I might be forgiven today.

I didn't go to the gym last night.I had tummy problems and a terrific headache but am feeling better this morning so still have my gym bag packed and plan on going tonight.

Having my yummy veggie soup for lunch today again.
No time for words of wisdom today..maybe tomorrow...lol
More later

Not letting my inner voice rule the day!

When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed and thought about how much I hate the "inchworm" and almost had myself convinced that I couldn't do it today...but I know that if I give into that inner voice today, it will just be that much harder tomorrow. So I got out of bed and did my 2nd day of the new workout. It wasn't easy to get my mind set but by the  time I got to the "inchworm" I knew that I would do all 10 of them no matter what.. I Can't let that inner voice control me anymore. I'm determined to make it through the next 4 weeks keeping to my plan. I will do the new workout 3 times a week. I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, if not more. I will get cardio everyday (except my rest day). I know that it won't be easy and there will be lots of excuses that my inner voice will come up with but if I give up on this program then I will fail myself. I know I can do this and I WILL.

I did go to the gym last night after work..almost let the inner voice talk me out of it when I saw all the cars in the parking lot. All the New Year Resolutioners were there in full. I did 20 mins on the treadmill (had to use one of the ones that the incline doesn't work on because they were all busy)..and I did an upper body workout with the weight machines. No way was I going to go into the weight room to work with the free weights..I've got my gym bag packed for tonight!

Added some dark red kidney beans to my homemade veggie soup to take to work with me for lunch. The thing I love about making homemade veggie soup is that I can add something differant to it each day...

So today so far I've done my morning exercise workout, taken my vitamins & supplements, packed my gym bag and lunch and gave myself a pat on the back...Not Bad..
Feeling pretty darn good!
More later!

Running late today!

I did my TaeBo tape this morning and got all sweaty..took my shower and checked my emails...now I'm out of time for anything else..Good thing I packed my gym bag and lunch last night...
Feeling good today!

Damage Control!

I've been afraid to weigh myself the last couple of weeks. I just knew with eating the way I have and not getting as much exercise as I should that I was back up to where I was when I began this blog.
So I "bit the bullet" and got on the scale this morning (after making sure I emptied my bladder because we all know that make a big difference...LOL). I did gain but not as much as I thought I had. I weighed in at 215.2 pounds..a 3 pound gain...not good but better than I thought. My goal is to be under 200 by my birthday...

I've done my "new" exercise program this morning. It took me 30 mins, which I'm okay with but as the weeks progress they will take longer..I'm not sure about this but I'm going to give it my "all". I did work up a good sweat doing them even though they are pretty simple exercises..The one I hate the most is the "Inchworm".
Step 1
Starting Position: From a standing position with your feet together or slightly apart, stiffen (“brace”) your abdominal muscles to stabilize your spine. (This I can do)
Step 2
Gently exhale and bend forward from your hips ("hip hinging"), keeping your knees extended (but not locked), and extend your arms in front of your body while slowly lowering your torso towards the floor until you can place your fingers or palms of your hands on the floor in front of your body. Maintaining a flat spine and a soft bend in your knees during this movement is acceptable.
Step 3
Slowly begin to walk your hands forward (6-12” or 12 ½ - 25 cm steps) without moving your feet (your heels will begin to rise off the floor). Continue walking yourself forward until you reach a full-push-up position where your spine, hips and head are level with the floor (plank position).
Step 4
Perform one full push-up (HA), lowering your chest and hips simultaneously to the floor while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards during this downward phase. Continue to lower yourself until your chest or chin touch the floor (No way..if I go all the way I can't get back up). Allow your elbows to flare outwards during the lowering phase.
Step 5
Press upwards through your arms while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards. Continue pressing until the arms fully extend at the elbows. Slowly begin walking your feet forward towards your hands, taking 6-12” steps without moving your hands. Maintain a flat spine throughout and continue walking until your feet are close to your hands.
Step 6
Repeat this movement and continue for 10 – 15 yards (9-13 m).
I never did get a "full" push-up. I thought that I would have more trouble getting down but it was getting back up from the down position that caused me problems..My arms are too short! I always say this and no one ever believes me..LOL. I had to do 10 and by the last one I was moaning.. The only good thing about it was this is the last exercise before cool down. I wanted to quit at 3 but made myself do all 10 just to prove that I could do it. What makes it worse is that my daughter can do this one easy..she makes it look like a "cake walk"...I'll just keep working at it until I get right!

Well enough fun..I'm off to get my hair cut this morning...and of course it looks good today..never fails..but I'm still getting it cut short! Short for me is so much better.. I don't have to mess with it in the morning..gives me more time to do my exercise...hmmmmm!

More later

I have all the tools!

There is no reason for me not to reach my goal. I have only myself to answer to if I fail (and I hate failure). As this new year begins I'm taking a look at what I need to do to get motivated to get fit and to stay that way once I get there.

I've set a goal to be able to fit into my size 12/14 pants (the ones I've packed away) by my birthday in April. To accomplish this I'm adding a new 12 week workout program (found online with ACE) to what I'm already doing as I feel that I haven't pushed myself as much as I can. Friday night I went over to my daughters and we went through the exercises & cool down stretches. I find that although I am "freakish" strong I am still very out of shape, especially as far as my core/abs and being able to do "floor" exercise (which I hate). We had a lot of laughs because my body just doesn't want to do some of these things. For instance the "Child Pose" which I've never been able to keep my butt down on my heels even when I was doing Pilate's at my "goal" weight. I just have too big of a butt! Today I typed up a workout sheet to help me keep on track for the next 4 weeks. My plan is to do these exercises & stretches 3 times a week in the morning alternating with a couple of days of doing my TaeBo tape. I will treat myself with going to the gym and lifting weights after work. I love feeling strong especially when I'm lifting weights. Like I said I think I'm "freakishly" strong. I can bench press 95-100 pounds.

The pants won't be my only motivation/reward. I've got my sight set on a 4 hr "Wild Edibles" class to learn the basics of identifying, collecting & preparing wild plants. It will also cover poisonous plants to avoid. This is something I've always been interested in but never had a chance to do. My outdoor group is doing this and a hike on my birthday in April but the sign up isn't until the first of March. The class is on a Saturday which I'm suppose to work but I'm promising myself that if I can stay on "plan" then I will take the day off and do this as a reward.

To reach my goal I know that what I really have to get under control is my diet/foods. For the past couple of weeks I've been out of control. Not just eating sweets but constantly putting something in my mouth whether I was hungry or not. I have the knowledge on what I can eat and get healthy. I have lots of cookbooks and am constantly looking for new healthy vegetarian recipes on line. The biggest challenge will to be to get back to eating fresh veggies and stay within my budget of $30-$40 a week for groceries.  I know for me it works best if I eat 5 instead of 3 small meals a day. I may not be able to afford the organic foods that I ate when I lost the weight before but I think I can still eat healthy with what I can afford..fresh & frozen veggies are good too.

I know that I get to discouraged when I TRY to keep written track of what I eat and calories but I'm pretty good at reading labels so I don't buy high calorie foods. I do have to watch my portion control. This morning I cleaned out my fridge and threw into my mulch bin all of the left over sweets (from Christmas) which included the rest of the brownies, eggnog fudge, eggnog/cherry/pecan quick bread and mini cheesecakes. I did save the small candy canes which I plan on sucking/eating when I have a craving to eat in between meals.
Hopefully by the time I run out of them I will have this mindless eating under control.

I still get emails from SparkPeople which gives me recipes & motivational articles. Also I check out daily other blogs for motivation. My daughter is trying to lose weight too and is doing the new workout also. So we will give each other motivation.

I can't think of anything else I need or could use (except more money) to get to my goal.