Lost Opportunities

Again I’ve been so bad about blogging. Mostly because I’ve been bad about getting serious about losing this weight. I do want to lose weight I just don’t want to have to think about it all the time and work to lose the weight. I KNOW that’s WRONG and that it will do me NO good. If I don’t get serious about this SOON I will be back to the weight I was 8 years ago before Lar passed away. I really don’t want to be there.

I had some of my friends over last Saturday night and we sat around my new firepit and drank wine. They brought snacks to eat, humus & crackers. It was nice.

I should have gone for a walk at the park on Sunday but I used the excuses that I was too tired since we stayed up until the wee hours and no one wanted to do the walk with me. I remember a time (a few years ago) when this wouldn’t have stopped me. In fact I’ve always enjoyed walking by myself at my favorite park so I KNOW that I gave into my IC.

My neighbor “E” was suppose to come Saturday night but I got a call from her on Saturday telling me that she couldn’t come. I told her she had best have a really good excuse for not coming since I had just talked to her on Thursday night and she said she would love to come. She then told me that after she hung up from talking to me she started to have a pain in her stomach and that it got so bad that she called her Mom to take her to the hospital.

She had surgery on Friday for a perforated Colon and was in the hospital when she called me. Now that’s what I call a REALLY good excuse. She was told on Tuesday that she had a tumor and it was positive for cancer. The docs think they got it all but she has to do Chemo. I feel so bad that I have let our friendship fall to the side so much that she didn’t think to call me that night when she needed someone. When Lar was alive we saw each other a lot. Since his death we both have gone our own way, not seeing each other for weeks. Over the past few months we have been trying to get together more. I will watch her dog Morgan for her when she needs me. One of my new goals for this year is to be a better friend. I’ve never been good at keeping up friendships. I’ve always left it up to the other person to carry on, but I’m going to work on it with the rest of the stuff I have to work on..

I didn’t go to the gym at all last week for one reason or other. I did work in my yard raking for four hours on Monday and that’s about all the exercise I got all week. I really couldn’t tell you what I ate all week…except the box of Girl Scout Cookies (I remember those). I should have walked Morgan (my neighbors dog) but again I didn’t. A lost opportunity!
I did get off my  FB (in my case it's not FaceBook but Fat Butt) and signed up for 2 hikes this morning. The first on is this coming Monday afternoon.. I almost let my IC convince me that I couldn’t do it because I can’t afford the gas monies to get to the park..(it’s on the other side of town) and that with this extra weight I’ve gained this past couple of weeks I won’t be able to keep up with everyone. Then I looked over the description of the hike again this morning and it looks like one I can do (there are 5 other 60+ people on the hike so I WILL NOT use my age as an excuse). I’ll just have to figure out the monies because I really do want to go.

I went to the gym tonight and had a good workout. I pushed myself pretty hard. Did a lower body workout. I sure hope my legs don't hurt me on Monday...that's the risk I take going to the gym. I'm planning on working my upper body tomorrow night. I like going on Saturday night because I can workout in the weight room.  The last time I was there I had a really good looking guy "spot" for me. 

Life goes on! More later!

Motivation?

I need to get myself together and start pushing to do the things I know I need to. I've been letting myself ride on exercise and eating healthy. Just can't seem to push myself to the point I need to. I went to the gym last night but used the excuse that there were too many people there to really push myself. I didn't give into the "inner child" who was pouting because there wasn't a treadmill or elliptical available. I did 20 mins on the bike instead..I hate the bike..it hurts my a$$...not good on the hymroids (MITN)..and then although I should have done lower body, I did upper body instead. I haven't done lower body forever...I hate leg workouts..I love the feeling of being strong by pushing my weights up on upper body...
This morning I drugged myself out of bed and did my own Ab workout...
This is the same workout I did last week...but then I didn't do anything else the rest of the week..I need to break this routine and get in more days of exercise.
The only exercise I get at work is going up and down the stairs to check on Princess Val.. Most of the day I sit and read my book.
Need to go and get ready for work...
Took my supplements this morning!
Got my gym bag packed.
Got my soup for lunch ready.
More Later

Not letting my inner voice rule the day!

When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed and thought about how much I hate the "inchworm" and almost had myself convinced that I couldn't do it today...but I know that if I give into that inner voice today, it will just be that much harder tomorrow. So I got out of bed and did my 2nd day of the new workout. It wasn't easy to get my mind set but by the  time I got to the "inchworm" I knew that I would do all 10 of them no matter what.. I Can't let that inner voice control me anymore. I'm determined to make it through the next 4 weeks keeping to my plan. I will do the new workout 3 times a week. I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, if not more. I will get cardio everyday (except my rest day). I know that it won't be easy and there will be lots of excuses that my inner voice will come up with but if I give up on this program then I will fail myself. I know I can do this and I WILL.

I did go to the gym last night after work..almost let the inner voice talk me out of it when I saw all the cars in the parking lot. All the New Year Resolutioners were there in full. I did 20 mins on the treadmill (had to use one of the ones that the incline doesn't work on because they were all busy)..and I did an upper body workout with the weight machines. No way was I going to go into the weight room to work with the free weights..I've got my gym bag packed for tonight!

Added some dark red kidney beans to my homemade veggie soup to take to work with me for lunch. The thing I love about making homemade veggie soup is that I can add something differant to it each day...

So today so far I've done my morning exercise workout, taken my vitamins & supplements, packed my gym bag and lunch and gave myself a pat on the back...Not Bad..
Feeling pretty darn good!
More later!

Starting the day off right!

It's my day off today..and I've work up a good sweat with Billy Blanks Tae Bo. I feel full of energy now! I had a glass of juice and in a little while I'll fix me my oatmeal. I NEVER eat before I exercise because I would get reflux.  It takes awhile for me to feel hungry after I exercise. I like to relax so when I do eat it will stay down. I hate having stomach problems but that's life for me and I've learn how to deal with it.

I did NOT listen to my inner child last night and I DID go to the gym...I will admit that I called my Daughter to push me into going. My inner child was giving me lots of EXCUSES not to go but I didn't give in and as usual once I was there I did fine. In fact although I didn't do the treadmill for cardio, one of the Stair Monsters was free and just waiting for me so I did 20 mins on it..It kicked my butt...by the time I was done I was soaking wet with sweat but it felt good..I kept my form (no leaning over and holding onto the front of the machine as I see so many peeps doing) and upped my level. Then I did a good leg work out..(gripping here).one of the things that really bugs me about the gym is those people who sit on a machine (especially if there is only one, like the abductor machine) and visit with their friends while I'm waiting to use that machine. I will usually ask (politely) how many more sets they have and hope they take the hint...and if they don't then I move onto another machine until they leave..but it still upsets me when peeps use the gym for social hour...when I talk with others I try not to hog a machine at the same time. But I still love going to the gym.  I haven't seen the older lady that I talked with last week but I'm hoping that she is coming at a different time than me.

Still not as on track with eating as I would like to be but I am working on it. It's not that I eat food that I shouldn't, more like that I don't balance my meals like I know I need to be doing. It's hard for me to get in enough protein in my diet. I would be happy just eating Vegetables only all day long!
On the Positive side..I am doing better at controlling my sugar intake..in fact I had to ask my daughter to bring sugar ( for those people who use it in their coffee or tea) to my candle party because I didn't have any in the house and didn't want to buy any and have it here in the house. I'm using honey in my tea or drinking the loose leaf tea that my friend Corey brought me from Germany..it has dried fruit in it so I don't need any sweetener. I do so love my tea!

I finally faced the dreaded scale today and I've lost another pound for a total of six. Although I wish it was more I'm not discouraged. I know for me it just going to take time..I guess I would rather lose it slow than fast..I've done it both ways before and I need time to adjust my thinking so once I do lose it I will NOT gain it back...I want off this yo yo merry go round...

I don't have any plans on what to do with my 2 days off right now. I'm still short on money this week so don't want to burn gas running around so looks like I'll stay home. I'll probably end up reading one of my new (used) books...good thing I worked out this morning...

So far it's working for me!

Taking pictures of what I'm eating everyday and posting it here has really helped me curb my "mindless" eating in the evening...also at work where for some reason he's has started to bring in junk foods...

I've had to fight (and win) with my IC every night but I'm determined if I'm going to do this I'm going to do it honestly and right...that means I will not give into my inner child who argues with me that I can still have just a few bites of something and not take a picture..especially in the evening when I want something sweet..Nope so far every bite of Food that I've eaten has had it's picture taken...And I've found a way to satisfy that sweet tooth of mine in the evening..I have a cup of hot tea with honey instead..I don't take a picture of it because I feel that my real struggle is with food not what I drink..If I'm having tea with my meal then it will be included other wise not.

The one thing I've found interesting is that by this Picture Taking..I've had to really think about what I'm eating...I want the picture to look good...No more eating out of the pan that I cooked it in or the package...
no more grab & eat...I actually have to wait a few minutes before stuffing food into my mouth..a lot of times this gives me time to realize I really don't want it..for instance I've had the one fudgesickle for over a week..a couple times in the evening I started to eat it when I realized a cup of hot tea would satisfy me just as well..
Last night when I came home from work I was hot and tired, didn't feel really good and wanted that fudgesickle...(even after I took the picture) so I decided to eat it without any guilt...It was good and just what I needed...
I may not be losing any weight but I feel better because I feel that I have CONTROL over what I'm eating now...with "mindless" eating there is no Control...

So on Weds I went "hiking" with my AOC group...I say "hiking" because it really was just a walk in the park and not a hike. We only did 2 1/2 miles at a local park and it was more like a "social" walk...but it was for beginners and Pam (the leader) had a lot of information to give new hikers.. I did my part in being the "sweeper" bringing up the rear of the group...It was fun..not sure how much exercise I really got though..

Tonight I'm headed over to my friend Lettie's for a Candlelight Party...There will be food I'm sure but I never have problems with that..Although I'm thinking I probably eat more than I realize just grazing on food..so I will have my handy dandy cell camera with me...and before it goes in my mouth there will be a picture taken...

Tomorrow morning (bright and early) is my 5K walk/run...I haven't done well on the Big Plan I had to get myself into running so I will most likely walk most of the way..I won't be surprized if I'm one of the last peoples to finish..but I know I'll finish...I'm not worried that I can't do it because I know I can do 3 miles pretty easy walking...My daughter says she's coming to cheer me on..I've got my new Knee Strap so that should help with my right knee which has been giving me a lot of pain in the morning...

On the Positive Side...I've been taking my vitamins & supplements all week...still hate it but I know that I need them...

No Excuses and No Apologizes

Today is my day off and I haven't done anything that I can be proud of except play on the computer, think about what I can eat... and..Oh yeah..I read a book! No exercise at all...am I discouraged with myself..NOPE...I just felt like taking a day off..NO excuses..no apologizes..I just did it!

I weighed myself this morning and I've actually lost 2 pounds this past week...(I'm determined that I'm not going to find them next week)..to some 2 pounds may not sound like a lot but to me it's a start and so much better than I've been doing in the past few months (I've gained since I started blogging)
So No Excuses and No Apologizes..I say waaahooo here I go!

I've actually done good on eating today..although I've done a lot of thinking about Just what I can eat..knowing that I'm going to take a picture of anything that goes into my mouth has made me really AWARE of just what I'm going to eat...Made me have to stop and think..

Last night I almost listened to my IC (inner child) to not take the picture of the popcorn and just eat it..if no one knows that I ate it then it doesn't count..right? But I took a firm hand with IC and said that if this is going to work for me then I have to be HONEST..I still ate the popcorn but it was only a half of mini bag (I stopped the microwave before all of it popped..lots of kernels that I couldn't eat)..it was good and I figured I hadn't done all that bad on what I ate all day...so No excuses and No Apologizes to myself...Like I said before..I'm not going to deny myself foods but I will make sure that I don't go overboard!  
(I've taken pictures of EVERYTHING I've eaten so far today and will post it Before I go to bed..that way if I decide to have a snack it will be included)..

I'm going on a hike tomorrow evening across town with the AOC group..it's a beginners hike but since I work on weekends I can't be too picky..besides I'm taking my friend Lettie with me..she's been wanting to hike...also I know the trip leader, been backpacking with her a couple of times, and She's a hoot...I really like her..She's asked me to be the "sweeper" for the group so she can concentrate on all the "newbies"...Just in case you didn't know the "sweeper" is the last person on the trail to make sure there aren't any stragglers or that anyone gets lost..Since this is where I like to hike anyway it works out great..should be a nice nice for hiking...I just wish I hadn't lost my headlamp just in case it gets dark on us..I do have a small flashlight that I can take just in case..It should be fun and I can get some exercise in..I'm not worried about this hike like I was the last one I went on..I know that I will do all right..I've been doing the treadmill and the stair"monster" at the gym and feel much better about doing anything cardio..besides I've decided that I will just do what I can ...No excuses and No Apologies...

I'm off to steam me some veggies and grill some fish for dinner (and take a picture) then maybe watch some tv...continuing with my DAY OFF...and making NO excuses and No apologizes...