Where did the time go?..I see it's been a full week since I've Blogged...
Food ...I still haven't conquered the food tracking...truthfully I'm not even trying. I am trying to watch WHAT I eat but I know I've got a long ways to go before I get it right. Not going to give up though..I just have to find a way that works for me..
Exercise..The gym...I love it..I've been taking it slow and building up..because I didn't want to be so sore that I couldn't move...but I do know that I have to be a little sore or I'm not going to build the muscle back like I want. I went last night and pushed myself on doing legs...second time since I've joined back. It felt good..my legs were tired when I left the gym but they don't feel to bad today. I still haven't done the treadmill...but tonight I will..I want start off with interval jogging (can't truthfully call what I do running)...to see if I can build myself back up to running... I still want to do a 5K in the future...looking at the one @ the end of September.
First I'll see how my knees do on the treadmill and then maybe I'll go back to the park next time I'm off work and see how I do..I know if I keep pushing myself a little bit at a time I can get to where I want...just not sure about the time line...I refuse to get discouraged..if running isn't something I can do..then I'll find something else that I can do.
Motivation..I've been invited to go a Wedding in September with some friends...I would like to lose some of this excess fat around my belly by the time I go so the skirt I'm planning on wearing will fit me better..I know I won't be skinny by then (if ever)..but I want to feel good about myself. I know all my friends support me and do not judge me..I do enough of that myself...but I don't want to embarrass them..
I'm getting my hair cut on Aug 10th..keep your fingers crossed it turns out good..at least if not I'll have a couple of weeks for it to grow out before the wedding..LOL..
Excuses...I still keep making them...Didn't go to the gym a couple of times because I was too sore...or it was raining..and one other was I visited my daughter instead..Ok maybe that one was a good reason not excuse...I need to commit to the gym..and stick to it...I know once I get to the gym and start my workout that all is good and then I'm glad I went..
As for eating..I bought ice cream this week because it's hot here in Georgia..now I know ice cream makes me cough for at least an hour after..and the sugar tears up my stomach...also keeps me awake all night..so why do I keep eating it?.The Evil part of me tells me I deserve it and it taste sooo good....and that I have cut back on the scoops and etc. etc..etc..I'm not going to beat myself up about it because it's not the end of the world if I have some ice cream..it's just that I feel I'm not getting control of what I eat. This IS the biggest problem I have. I'm addicted to food...I know I need to find a way to keep from sabotaging myself..I need to take a close look at WHY I do it..just not today...(not good)...
Journaling or blogging...need to figure out why it's so hard to come here some days and easy other days..
I'm still struggling with making myself go out and do things..I've been advoiding some of my friends...not because I don't want to see or hear from them..but because I'm ashamed of what I've let myself become..
It's so easy just to pick up a book and escape into a fantasy world.
So on the Positive Side...What I did right this past week.....I went to the gym 4 times...I met with my freind Cory and got caught up with him since he's gotten back from his summer trips..I spent time with my Daughter and Granddaughter..even went out to supper with them. Last night I spoke on the phone with my friend D (who talks forever on the phone). As I've always said..I'm taking it one step at a time..
More later
Weight loss goal
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Trying NOT to be frustrated here
The keeping track of calories has never been easy for me because I don't know how many calories is in the simple things..like for instance today I'm having 1/2 cantaloupe for breakfast with my cup of tea. You would think with all the books I have in this house I could find one of the calorie counter books I used to have..No such thing..I've looked. Yesterday I went on line to find a tracking system I could use. I finally (after hours of frustration) settled on using Fitday.com. It's the one I used years ago..not bad but since I couldn't find my old account I have to start all over with the set up. I hate setting up a new food diary because I don't eat packaged foods (much) mostly I cook from scratch and I change the way I make things as the mood hits me..OK I'm starting to get upset again..I can feel the frustration coming.
Anyway Fitday does have a calorie counter but cantaloupe is not in it. I've decided I'll just write down exactly what I'm eating and the time I eat it for now..not to worry about the calories yet. Get used to journaling what I eat first then give Fitday another chance..maybe next week on my day off when I have more time to fool around with it. The one thing I do know is that I'm not going to journal WHAT I eat here!
The good news is that yesterday I went to the gym..I feel so good..I did the Elliptical and then worked out with the machines on my upper body...I'm a little sore in the pec area but other than that I feel good. I took a hot shower this morning and it took out most of the soreness. I thought my tri's would really hurt because I had them burning..I still feel a little burning in them when I tighten them but not bad. I'll go again tonight and work on my lower body.. I really thought I would have to start all over with the lower weights but it was like I had never left the gym. I felt so proud of myself and of course I ran into an instructor that I used to know and she was so supportive of me..I definitly feel this is a step in the right direction for me.
Anyway Fitday does have a calorie counter but cantaloupe is not in it. I've decided I'll just write down exactly what I'm eating and the time I eat it for now..not to worry about the calories yet. Get used to journaling what I eat first then give Fitday another chance..maybe next week on my day off when I have more time to fool around with it. The one thing I do know is that I'm not going to journal WHAT I eat here!
The good news is that yesterday I went to the gym..I feel so good..I did the Elliptical and then worked out with the machines on my upper body...I'm a little sore in the pec area but other than that I feel good. I took a hot shower this morning and it took out most of the soreness. I thought my tri's would really hurt because I had them burning..I still feel a little burning in them when I tighten them but not bad. I'll go again tonight and work on my lower body.. I really thought I would have to start all over with the lower weights but it was like I had never left the gym. I felt so proud of myself and of course I ran into an instructor that I used to know and she was so supportive of me..I definitly feel this is a step in the right direction for me.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Finding my "Happy"!
This week I've been thinking about signing back up with my gym. I cancelled my membership over a a year ago because I wasn't going for several reasons. No motivation, no gas monies and it was out of the way. When I had been going every day it was because the gym was on my home..so I didn't have any excuses then. I was (and still am) short of monies and figured since I wasn't utilizing the gym I was wasting that money. My new job is close to the gym so there goes that excuse. In thinking about what really made me happy a few years ago my mind goes to all the times I had at the gym...I actually loved it...I miss playing racquetball, doing the hip hop or kickboxing classes and just plain working out with the weights. I felt so good about myself when I was going to the gym. Many of my friends now are ones I met at the gym. I am a very social person and with my current job it is just Princess Val, her Dad, and sometimes Sandi (his girlfriend) all day and then I come home to just me. I find that I need people around me. As for the monies..I figure if I go 5 times a week it will cost me $1.82 a day, less than $2..I'm saving that much or more on gas with the new job..so I think I can swing the cost. Where else can I go and enjoy myself for such little monies.
So yesterday I went for a tour at Lifetime Fitness..it's a big gym that a lot of the peoples from my old gym went over to. It was nice, had a lot to offer (mostly for families) but the monthly cost was more than I wanted to pay and I just didn't feel comfortable there. It was too fancy..besides they didn't have a racquetball court, which is a biggie for me! And there were a lot of kids running around..Now don't get me wrong I like kids, just not when I'm working out.....I'm glad I checked it out because now I know I'm not missing anything!
SO...I went back over to my old gym and talked to the General Manager and got signed back up. The funny thing is while I was waiting for Aaron (the GM) I ran into 3 different people I knew and talked to them and this was in the off time, in the afternoon and a weekday!!! I remember that no matter what time I went to this gym I always ran into at least one person I knew. I have been a member since 2003 and I pretty much used to go everyday ...in fact I had worked at a different location for LA Fitness for a year (but I found out that I wasn't good at being a Sales Counselor, not aggressive enuff). Walking into my old gym, It felt like I had come "home"..I looked at all machines and in my mind I was figuring out what work out I would do first. I will be going today, altho it's my day off, because I have to go over that way to take care of my daughters animals while they are out of town. No excuses here.
I'm actually looking forward to it..I know that tomorrow I'll probably be sore all over but I also know that's part of getting back to where I want to be and it won't last forever (the pain!)..
The other thing I'm going to attempt to start doing today is keeping track of what I eat. I have never been good at counting calories or writing down what I eat...I hate it! I don't want to do it! I'll usually start out good for a couple of days and then give it up..I've tried using the on line tracking systems..they don't work for me..I get too frustrated with them...It's hard!!!! and I'm lazy! I just want to eat and then forget it..Oh.. I know, I've read all the books and articles how being aware of each bite you put in your mouth will help you lose weight...What with starting out with the weights again, I know that I need to not only watch the amount of what I eat but also that I get enough proteins and carbs so I can get the full benefit of my workout, and that's where tracking what I eat will help. Also When I am honest and write down EVERY BITE I'm eating, it keeps me from eating those things I know I don't need to be eating. I have to be honest with myself here...I'm not so worried about calories (altho it might surprize me how many I really eat in a day!), but more that I'm balancing my foods. More on all this at a later date when I've had time to think it over more..and also to see if I can get a tracking system that works for me everyday.
So yesterday I went for a tour at Lifetime Fitness..it's a big gym that a lot of the peoples from my old gym went over to. It was nice, had a lot to offer (mostly for families) but the monthly cost was more than I wanted to pay and I just didn't feel comfortable there. It was too fancy..besides they didn't have a racquetball court, which is a biggie for me! And there were a lot of kids running around..Now don't get me wrong I like kids, just not when I'm working out.....I'm glad I checked it out because now I know I'm not missing anything!
SO...I went back over to my old gym and talked to the General Manager and got signed back up. The funny thing is while I was waiting for Aaron (the GM) I ran into 3 different people I knew and talked to them and this was in the off time, in the afternoon and a weekday!!! I remember that no matter what time I went to this gym I always ran into at least one person I knew. I have been a member since 2003 and I pretty much used to go everyday ...in fact I had worked at a different location for LA Fitness for a year (but I found out that I wasn't good at being a Sales Counselor, not aggressive enuff). Walking into my old gym, It felt like I had come "home"..I looked at all machines and in my mind I was figuring out what work out I would do first. I will be going today, altho it's my day off, because I have to go over that way to take care of my daughters animals while they are out of town. No excuses here.
I'm actually looking forward to it..I know that tomorrow I'll probably be sore all over but I also know that's part of getting back to where I want to be and it won't last forever (the pain!)..
The other thing I'm going to attempt to start doing today is keeping track of what I eat. I have never been good at counting calories or writing down what I eat...I hate it! I don't want to do it! I'll usually start out good for a couple of days and then give it up..I've tried using the on line tracking systems..they don't work for me..I get too frustrated with them...It's hard!!!! and I'm lazy! I just want to eat and then forget it..Oh.. I know, I've read all the books and articles how being aware of each bite you put in your mouth will help you lose weight...What with starting out with the weights again, I know that I need to not only watch the amount of what I eat but also that I get enough proteins and carbs so I can get the full benefit of my workout, and that's where tracking what I eat will help. Also When I am honest and write down EVERY BITE I'm eating, it keeps me from eating those things I know I don't need to be eating. I have to be honest with myself here...I'm not so worried about calories (altho it might surprize me how many I really eat in a day!), but more that I'm balancing my foods. More on all this at a later date when I've had time to think it over more..and also to see if I can get a tracking system that works for me everyday.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Self Image
I took this picture this morning with my cell phone while I was looking in the mirror. In my mind I had this really great smile and my eyes were twinkling and I felt like I looked good. I'm not sure what other people see. I do know that most people tell me I don't look my age..not sure if they are just saying that to be nice or if it's true..I'm not so concerned about looking my age...I just want to go back to looking good like I did a couple of years ago.. I know that I will never be a skinny model type..my body just won't accept that and it won't be me..SO WHO AM I?
Lady Sue's Self Image goals. I want to be someone who's face shows that she is happy (I am a lot happier now than I was a couple of months ago). I also want to be active..to be able to do the things that I like..such as...not to be afraid to jump on the trampoline with my grandkids if I want.. (my Daughter's MIL, who is older than me, did this a couple of weeks ago at her house and I was so jealous but still afraid to make a fool of myself)..or worry about slowing people down on a hike. And of course I want a body that I don't have to be ashamed of when I look in the mirror.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I'm not losing any weight BUT
I still feel good about myself.
This last week has been a roller coaster for me but I'm not beating myself up for it. After I posted here last I actually went to the refrigerator and instead of eating anything I could find..I cleaned it out instead..throwing away anything I knew that I didn't need...Didn't leave much but it worked for me..got my mind off from "mindless eating" and gave me something positive to do.
Sad to say but Tommy passed away the next morning. You hear all the words that people say to make it better..like "now he's in heaven and not in pain anymore" but it my heart still aches for his parents.
I went to the Funeral...lord how I hate funerals...but again it wasn't about me..I wanted to say my last good bye to Tommy.
My new job is GREAT! In my mind I've named my "client" Princess Val..We are still on the "honeymoon". She has alot of problems..Turner Syndrome, which affects her size..she's 4'3" and weighs about 60-70 lbs. She's about the size of my Granddaughter who is 7 yrs old..It's hard to remember that she is in her 30's because she is also Autistic and has Tourettes Syndrome..Her days mostly consist of being in her rooms upstairs (like a princess in a tower), and I stay downstairs, (like a ogre or maybe a guard, a nice one I hope) checking on her regularly. Which is where I came up with her nickname...This past week she actually came downstairs to watch her movies with me a couple of times..Her favorite is "Sleeping Beauty". I love to hear her laugh...it's very infectious..She has tried to "play" me against her Dad already..I'm learning that she has a little "imp" in her..but I think I can handle her..It is so much better than my last job. The house is clean and organized. I eat my lunch there because they actually eat healthy. There are a couple of things that aren't perfect but I think I can handle it after the last year.
I worked out with Billy Blanks Tae Bo tapes a couple of times this past week...was happy with the results..I was afraid that since I haven't done them for so long that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the tapes or do all of the exercises..but I did...Whooo hooo....I've come to the conclusion that I do better if I have a man instructor (except Gilad..yech)...I've tried some of the programs on FIT TV but I just get irritated at the womens voices. What's with that?
I'm still working on making a plan for my "diet"..I know that the one thing that will help me get my eating under control is to journal...I always do good for a day or two then find excuses not to do it...this time I'm having a hard time convincing myself to even get started..I'm defeating myself before even starting..Something to work on...Looking for a good program that I can stick to..the ones I've tried in the past just didn't work..
I took my truck into the shop to get some work done on it today and instead of sitting there waiting for it I took a walk to the park..actually I was going to go to the library but they didn't open up till 11 am....which was only about an half mile away...I sat under an old oak tree and just listened to the birds and enjoyed the breeze through the trees...it was so nice and relaxing..I realized that this is something I need to do more of..Funny thing was that on my walk I had a guy pull over in his truck to see if I was broke down and needed help..you have got to love small towns....LOL....
Overall I'm pretty happy with myself...I feel that I've come a long way over the last couple of months...
This last week has been a roller coaster for me but I'm not beating myself up for it. After I posted here last I actually went to the refrigerator and instead of eating anything I could find..I cleaned it out instead..throwing away anything I knew that I didn't need...Didn't leave much but it worked for me..got my mind off from "mindless eating" and gave me something positive to do.
Sad to say but Tommy passed away the next morning. You hear all the words that people say to make it better..like "now he's in heaven and not in pain anymore" but it my heart still aches for his parents.
I went to the Funeral...lord how I hate funerals...but again it wasn't about me..I wanted to say my last good bye to Tommy.
My new job is GREAT! In my mind I've named my "client" Princess Val..We are still on the "honeymoon". She has alot of problems..Turner Syndrome, which affects her size..she's 4'3" and weighs about 60-70 lbs. She's about the size of my Granddaughter who is 7 yrs old..It's hard to remember that she is in her 30's because she is also Autistic and has Tourettes Syndrome..Her days mostly consist of being in her rooms upstairs (like a princess in a tower), and I stay downstairs, (like a ogre or maybe a guard, a nice one I hope) checking on her regularly. Which is where I came up with her nickname...This past week she actually came downstairs to watch her movies with me a couple of times..Her favorite is "Sleeping Beauty". I love to hear her laugh...it's very infectious..She has tried to "play" me against her Dad already..I'm learning that she has a little "imp" in her..but I think I can handle her..It is so much better than my last job. The house is clean and organized. I eat my lunch there because they actually eat healthy. There are a couple of things that aren't perfect but I think I can handle it after the last year.
I worked out with Billy Blanks Tae Bo tapes a couple of times this past week...was happy with the results..I was afraid that since I haven't done them for so long that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the tapes or do all of the exercises..but I did...Whooo hooo....I've come to the conclusion that I do better if I have a man instructor (except Gilad..yech)...I've tried some of the programs on FIT TV but I just get irritated at the womens voices. What's with that?
I'm still working on making a plan for my "diet"..I know that the one thing that will help me get my eating under control is to journal...I always do good for a day or two then find excuses not to do it...this time I'm having a hard time convincing myself to even get started..I'm defeating myself before even starting..Something to work on...Looking for a good program that I can stick to..the ones I've tried in the past just didn't work..
I took my truck into the shop to get some work done on it today and instead of sitting there waiting for it I took a walk to the park..actually I was going to go to the library but they didn't open up till 11 am....which was only about an half mile away...I sat under an old oak tree and just listened to the birds and enjoyed the breeze through the trees...it was so nice and relaxing..I realized that this is something I need to do more of..Funny thing was that on my walk I had a guy pull over in his truck to see if I was broke down and needed help..you have got to love small towns....LOL....
Overall I'm pretty happy with myself...I feel that I've come a long way over the last couple of months...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Feeding the Ache!
I have this ache in my chest that I keep trying to feed..altho I know that will not help!
We have friends that are going through a bad time right now. Their son who has cancer is losing his fight for life. No matter how prepared I think I am for these things or how I try to distance myself..it still affects me.
My heart aches for this family so much. I wish I could make it better for them but I know they will have to find their own way. Luckily they have some really good friends (my daughter is one of them) and support from their family..They are not alone.
Right this moment I am thinking about what I can find to eat to make this ache go away....or to just feel good for a minute. I've been where they are and know how hard it is! It brings back all the feelings and memories of the last days of my son Jason and my husband Larry. All those feelings I thought I've learned how to deal with. I know it's NOT all about ME..but that doesn't stop it!
Food has always been a comfort for me! Whenever I've needed it, it has been there! Although the feeling doesn't last at least it stops the pain for a bit. Instead I've come here to journal these feelings..I would go for a walk at the park but it is too hot out right now. I know I need to focus on dealing with these feeling I have and to learn that food is NOT my friend..it will not make everything all right! In fact if will only make me feel worse in the long run.
I did good on eating all day yesterday until I spoke with my daughter last night who told me that Tommy has taken a turn for the worse and not expected to make it to the week end. Then I started to eat....and eat..until I was sick. I beat myself up for giving into "old bad habits" and here I am today thinking about doing the same all over again..You would think that I would learn! Well maybe I have..just because I gave in last night doesn't mean that I will give up. I will conquer this and learn by my mistakes!
We have friends that are going through a bad time right now. Their son who has cancer is losing his fight for life. No matter how prepared I think I am for these things or how I try to distance myself..it still affects me.
My heart aches for this family so much. I wish I could make it better for them but I know they will have to find their own way. Luckily they have some really good friends (my daughter is one of them) and support from their family..They are not alone.
Right this moment I am thinking about what I can find to eat to make this ache go away....or to just feel good for a minute. I've been where they are and know how hard it is! It brings back all the feelings and memories of the last days of my son Jason and my husband Larry. All those feelings I thought I've learned how to deal with. I know it's NOT all about ME..but that doesn't stop it!
Food has always been a comfort for me! Whenever I've needed it, it has been there! Although the feeling doesn't last at least it stops the pain for a bit. Instead I've come here to journal these feelings..I would go for a walk at the park but it is too hot out right now. I know I need to focus on dealing with these feeling I have and to learn that food is NOT my friend..it will not make everything all right! In fact if will only make me feel worse in the long run.
I did good on eating all day yesterday until I spoke with my daughter last night who told me that Tommy has taken a turn for the worse and not expected to make it to the week end. Then I started to eat....and eat..until I was sick. I beat myself up for giving into "old bad habits" and here I am today thinking about doing the same all over again..You would think that I would learn! Well maybe I have..just because I gave in last night doesn't mean that I will give up. I will conquer this and learn by my mistakes!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Enjoying Breakfast
Yesterday I fixed the breakfast I said I was BUT then I brought it in here and ate it while I was on the computer...afterwards I barely could remember what I ate. This is a BAD habit I've gotten into the last couple of years and It's probably going to be one of the hardest to break. I will fix a good meal but instead of enjoying it, I will be doing something else while eating it..even when I do eat at the table it's usually while reading a book. Lately I've been bad about bringing my food into the office and eating while on the computer. The problem with this is that I'm not satisfied...half the time I feel that I haven't even eaten so I go looking for something else to eat. Sometimes, especially if I eat while watching tv, I can't even remember what I ate. The other thing that is bad, is that although I love to cook and try new recipes, lately I've been only eating what only takes a couple of mins to either nuke in the micro wave.
So this morning I fixed an white egg omlete with mushrooms/onions, turkey bacon, cataloupe and a glass of mango juice AND made myself sit at the table and eat it. I took my time eating it and enjoying the flavors. Looked out my windows and enjoyed my yard..Just plain had some ME time...I did not rush through it so I could get on the computer or start reading my book. And I feel full and satisfied.
Good way to start the morning..:-)
So this morning I fixed an white egg omlete with mushrooms/onions, turkey bacon, cataloupe and a glass of mango juice AND made myself sit at the table and eat it. I took my time eating it and enjoying the flavors. Looked out my windows and enjoyed my yard..Just plain had some ME time...I did not rush through it so I could get on the computer or start reading my book. And I feel full and satisfied.Now this isn't something new, something I didn't know..in fact it's a habit I had when I lost the weight before..sometimes it's not easy to make myself sit at the table and enjoy because I've got so much on my mind or something else I would rather be doing...but I know that "Mindless eating" is one of the reasons I did not keep the weight off this time.
I can make excuses for why I fell back to not minding HOW I ate, and What I ate, But again they are only EXCUSES! But I'll try to remember just how Nice it was to sit there and enjoy my breakfast..Good way to start the morning..:-)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
I am ready to get serious!
I'm not done analyzing why I didn't/haven't maintained my weight loss but I feel that I've gotten to a point where I am ready to get serious about starting "My Program" to get myself fit again.
Saturday July 3rd is as good as any day to start!
I got up and made my bed, put a load of laundry in the machine and then weighed myself...(ouch). I weigh
216.0# ...not good but when I weighed myself last week I weighed 219.6#...I'm not going to count that as a loss until we see if I don't gain it back this week. Seriously I don't judge myself on "NUMBERS" ...I refuse to beat myself up if I don't lose a certain amount of weight each week. WHEN (not IF) I get control of my life I know it will come off...I had originally set a date of October 1st to lose 50#s...I now realize that is an unrealistic goal for me...I don't want to be tied to the scale...as long as I am losing I will know that I am doing good!
I'm starting back on supplements..I would rather not take them but I know I need them. I don't eat meat or dairy products. More on this later!
I then put a Billy Blanks Tae Bo tape in and worked out with him for 45 mins...I'm surprized but I did better than I thought I would..I took Kickboxing at the gym for 2 years and used to be pretty good (or at least I thought I was). I had some trouble with the kicks...but otherwise I'm pleasantly proud of myself...And all this time I've been telling myself that I can't keep up or do most of the moves...hmmm...again I need to believe in myself! My plan is to do a tape at least every other morning...With the new job I have a couple of hours in the morning to myself and I have several differant exercise tapes to chose from..or I'll do one of the ones on FIT TV (not Gilad...he's creepy to me..worse than Richard Simmons..yech)...
I'm still planning on working out in the gym at the house where I work but first I want to get settled in with Val (the girl I'm taking care of)...and then it will be working with the weights..I can do cardio at the park on my days off and also doing the tapes..I do feel for me EXERCISE is the most important thing...I know that I feel better when I exercise..I still want to get back in shape enough to do a 5K and my dream of hiking/backpacking (and keeping up with everyone) will help me keep motivated.
After exercising I checked my emails and read Stop Dieting & Start Living! by Dean Anderson at SparkPeople (my motivation for the day). Now I'm journaling for the day..I feel pretty darn good about myself this morning..ready to meet the world..
My plans for the rest of the day is to eat breakfast..I had to wait for 30 mins after taking 1 oz of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (more on this later too). I am going to have 1 whole wheat waffle (instead of my usual 2) some cantaloupe and a glass of mango juice which I WILL eat at the table not here at the computer or in front of the tv (which I've gotten into doing)... this should last me until lunch at work where I will have a tomato/spinach sandwich. Not sure what I will have for dinner since I'm going with my daughter and family to watch fireworks tonight.
One of my goals is to have FUN..not to take everything so serious...
Saturday July 3rd is as good as any day to start!
I got up and made my bed, put a load of laundry in the machine and then weighed myself...(ouch). I weigh
216.0# ...not good but when I weighed myself last week I weighed 219.6#...I'm not going to count that as a loss until we see if I don't gain it back this week. Seriously I don't judge myself on "NUMBERS" ...I refuse to beat myself up if I don't lose a certain amount of weight each week. WHEN (not IF) I get control of my life I know it will come off...I had originally set a date of October 1st to lose 50#s...I now realize that is an unrealistic goal for me...I don't want to be tied to the scale...as long as I am losing I will know that I am doing good!
I'm starting back on supplements..I would rather not take them but I know I need them. I don't eat meat or dairy products. More on this later!
I then put a Billy Blanks Tae Bo tape in and worked out with him for 45 mins...I'm surprized but I did better than I thought I would..I took Kickboxing at the gym for 2 years and used to be pretty good (or at least I thought I was). I had some trouble with the kicks...but otherwise I'm pleasantly proud of myself...And all this time I've been telling myself that I can't keep up or do most of the moves...hmmm...again I need to believe in myself! My plan is to do a tape at least every other morning...With the new job I have a couple of hours in the morning to myself and I have several differant exercise tapes to chose from..or I'll do one of the ones on FIT TV (not Gilad...he's creepy to me..worse than Richard Simmons..yech)...
I'm still planning on working out in the gym at the house where I work but first I want to get settled in with Val (the girl I'm taking care of)...and then it will be working with the weights..I can do cardio at the park on my days off and also doing the tapes..I do feel for me EXERCISE is the most important thing...I know that I feel better when I exercise..I still want to get back in shape enough to do a 5K and my dream of hiking/backpacking (and keeping up with everyone) will help me keep motivated.
After exercising I checked my emails and read Stop Dieting & Start Living! by Dean Anderson at SparkPeople (my motivation for the day). Now I'm journaling for the day..I feel pretty darn good about myself this morning..ready to meet the world..
My plans for the rest of the day is to eat breakfast..I had to wait for 30 mins after taking 1 oz of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (more on this later too). I am going to have 1 whole wheat waffle (instead of my usual 2) some cantaloupe and a glass of mango juice which I WILL eat at the table not here at the computer or in front of the tv (which I've gotten into doing)... this should last me until lunch at work where I will have a tomato/spinach sandwich. Not sure what I will have for dinner since I'm going with my daughter and family to watch fireworks tonight.
One of my goals is to have FUN..not to take everything so serious...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
#8 Allow for Setbacks
from SparkPeople To 10 Strategies for Success by Mike Kramer
Accept the fact right now that you will make mistakes, and that it can be a positive thing. We are usually harder on ourselves that we are on anyone else we know. Be your own #1 fan. That means being supportive (instead of critical) when you stumble, and enjoy your wins (rather than ignoring your accomplishments) when you succeed.
Yesterday was my last day with Mike and surprizingly I find that I'm going to miss Mike! I've spent the last year with him and although there were days that he drove me absolutly bonkers, there were also times when we had a lot of fun. I won't miss the hours, the house, the smell, the temper tantrums or the rest of the reasons I quit (which there were too many to list). I do feel like I improved Mike's life when I was there and this last year wasn't a setback but a learning experience (a win). It gave me focus on what I want to do with my life as far as a career..I probably wouldn't have realized that I am a caregiver and this is what I am good at if not for Mike. I think I made the right choice in taking this new job/position and it's a step in the right direction for me. If it turns out to be a mistake/set back (which I don't feel it will be) then I will need to accept it and move on from there.
Right now I need to focus on Finding myself again and learning how to become my own #1 fan.
Accept the fact right now that you will make mistakes, and that it can be a positive thing. We are usually harder on ourselves that we are on anyone else we know. Be your own #1 fan. That means being supportive (instead of critical) when you stumble, and enjoy your wins (rather than ignoring your accomplishments) when you succeed.
Yesterday was my last day with Mike and surprizingly I find that I'm going to miss Mike! I've spent the last year with him and although there were days that he drove me absolutly bonkers, there were also times when we had a lot of fun. I won't miss the hours, the house, the smell, the temper tantrums or the rest of the reasons I quit (which there were too many to list). I do feel like I improved Mike's life when I was there and this last year wasn't a setback but a learning experience (a win). It gave me focus on what I want to do with my life as far as a career..I probably wouldn't have realized that I am a caregiver and this is what I am good at if not for Mike. I think I made the right choice in taking this new job/position and it's a step in the right direction for me. If it turns out to be a mistake/set back (which I don't feel it will be) then I will need to accept it and move on from there.
Right now I need to focus on Finding myself again and learning how to become my own #1 fan.
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