Motivation?

I need to get myself together and start pushing to do the things I know I need to. I've been letting myself ride on exercise and eating healthy. Just can't seem to push myself to the point I need to. I went to the gym last night but used the excuse that there were too many people there to really push myself. I didn't give into the "inner child" who was pouting because there wasn't a treadmill or elliptical available. I did 20 mins on the bike instead..I hate the bike..it hurts my a$$...not good on the hymroids (MITN)..and then although I should have done lower body, I did upper body instead. I haven't done lower body forever...I hate leg workouts..I love the feeling of being strong by pushing my weights up on upper body...
This morning I drugged myself out of bed and did my own Ab workout...
This is the same workout I did last week...but then I didn't do anything else the rest of the week..I need to break this routine and get in more days of exercise.
The only exercise I get at work is going up and down the stairs to check on Princess Val.. Most of the day I sit and read my book.
Need to go and get ready for work...
Took my supplements this morning!
Got my gym bag packed.
Got my soup for lunch ready.
More Later

Work in progress!

"All the scars of my life, both physical and emotional, are but brush strokes on the masterpiece that is me. I am a work in progress"  Darkwroth

I made it through Monday which was Lar's B'day. Sometimes it feel like just yesterday he was here with me and then days like Monday it feels like forever ago that he was able to hold me in his arms. Nine years is just a drop in the bucket unless you are living them without the one you love. I know that I will always miss him and that life does go on for me so I need to keep focused on making myself the best that I can. I will give myself a little time to grieve because I've found that when I bury those feelings they only grow bigger.
 
Sunday I went for a walk in the park with my friend Tee. It was such a beautiful sunny day. I had asked a few of my friends but Tee was the only one who made it. She and I are planning on making it a weekly (Sunday) thing.  We are both about the same size and both of us love the outdoors. She walks a little slower than me so I didn't have to worry about slowing her down.  Tee has a teenage daughter that she has to do a lot of running around for so she doesn't get much time for herself. She does go the the same gym as I do (that's where we met years ago) but she goes at a different time than I do and she does the step class (which I don't). I would like to include a couple more of our friends and make this more social. I've realized that I've been keeping myself away from my friends because of my money situation.  I hate not having the monies to do all the things they do..but Tee is pretty much in the same situation so we will find things that we can afford to do...her biggest problem right now is finding time for herself. Her daughter will be graduation from high school this year so she has big plans on what she will do after her daughter leaves for college.
 
I find that I have good days when I feel that I can accomplish anything and then I have days when all I want to do is fold up into a ball and hide. I've been struggling with the changes I feel with aging. I know that 60 years old isn't all that old but some days my body tells me that it is. When I look in the mirror I can see the changes..I guess we always expect to look young (or at least dream that we will)...I just have to find a way to live with these changes...Everything seems to be going south on me...I'm afraid of what I will look like when (not if) I do lose weight..what if all this sagging skin only gets worse? I guess the only way to find out is to do it.
 
Do not worry about Tomorrow.
For Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each Day has enough troubles of it's own.
After All Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday.
 
More later I'm off to work!

Not letting my inner voice rule the day!

When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed and thought about how much I hate the "inchworm" and almost had myself convinced that I couldn't do it today...but I know that if I give into that inner voice today, it will just be that much harder tomorrow. So I got out of bed and did my 2nd day of the new workout. It wasn't easy to get my mind set but by the  time I got to the "inchworm" I knew that I would do all 10 of them no matter what.. I Can't let that inner voice control me anymore. I'm determined to make it through the next 4 weeks keeping to my plan. I will do the new workout 3 times a week. I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, if not more. I will get cardio everyday (except my rest day). I know that it won't be easy and there will be lots of excuses that my inner voice will come up with but if I give up on this program then I will fail myself. I know I can do this and I WILL.

I did go to the gym last night after work..almost let the inner voice talk me out of it when I saw all the cars in the parking lot. All the New Year Resolutioners were there in full. I did 20 mins on the treadmill (had to use one of the ones that the incline doesn't work on because they were all busy)..and I did an upper body workout with the weight machines. No way was I going to go into the weight room to work with the free weights..I've got my gym bag packed for tonight!

Added some dark red kidney beans to my homemade veggie soup to take to work with me for lunch. The thing I love about making homemade veggie soup is that I can add something differant to it each day...

So today so far I've done my morning exercise workout, taken my vitamins & supplements, packed my gym bag and lunch and gave myself a pat on the back...Not Bad..
Feeling pretty darn good!
More later!