Work in progress!

"All the scars of my life, both physical and emotional, are but brush strokes on the masterpiece that is me. I am a work in progress"  Darkwroth

I made it through Monday which was Lar's B'day. Sometimes it feel like just yesterday he was here with me and then days like Monday it feels like forever ago that he was able to hold me in his arms. Nine years is just a drop in the bucket unless you are living them without the one you love. I know that I will always miss him and that life does go on for me so I need to keep focused on making myself the best that I can. I will give myself a little time to grieve because I've found that when I bury those feelings they only grow bigger.
 
Sunday I went for a walk in the park with my friend Tee. It was such a beautiful sunny day. I had asked a few of my friends but Tee was the only one who made it. She and I are planning on making it a weekly (Sunday) thing.  We are both about the same size and both of us love the outdoors. She walks a little slower than me so I didn't have to worry about slowing her down.  Tee has a teenage daughter that she has to do a lot of running around for so she doesn't get much time for herself. She does go the the same gym as I do (that's where we met years ago) but she goes at a different time than I do and she does the step class (which I don't). I would like to include a couple more of our friends and make this more social. I've realized that I've been keeping myself away from my friends because of my money situation.  I hate not having the monies to do all the things they do..but Tee is pretty much in the same situation so we will find things that we can afford to do...her biggest problem right now is finding time for herself. Her daughter will be graduation from high school this year so she has big plans on what she will do after her daughter leaves for college.
 
I find that I have good days when I feel that I can accomplish anything and then I have days when all I want to do is fold up into a ball and hide. I've been struggling with the changes I feel with aging. I know that 60 years old isn't all that old but some days my body tells me that it is. When I look in the mirror I can see the changes..I guess we always expect to look young (or at least dream that we will)...I just have to find a way to live with these changes...Everything seems to be going south on me...I'm afraid of what I will look like when (not if) I do lose weight..what if all this sagging skin only gets worse? I guess the only way to find out is to do it.
 
Do not worry about Tomorrow.
For Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each Day has enough troubles of it's own.
After All Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday.
 
More later I'm off to work!