Lost Opportunities

Again I’ve been so bad about blogging. Mostly because I’ve been bad about getting serious about losing this weight. I do want to lose weight I just don’t want to have to think about it all the time and work to lose the weight. I KNOW that’s WRONG and that it will do me NO good. If I don’t get serious about this SOON I will be back to the weight I was 8 years ago before Lar passed away. I really don’t want to be there.

I had some of my friends over last Saturday night and we sat around my new firepit and drank wine. They brought snacks to eat, humus & crackers. It was nice.

I should have gone for a walk at the park on Sunday but I used the excuses that I was too tired since we stayed up until the wee hours and no one wanted to do the walk with me. I remember a time (a few years ago) when this wouldn’t have stopped me. In fact I’ve always enjoyed walking by myself at my favorite park so I KNOW that I gave into my IC.

My neighbor “E” was suppose to come Saturday night but I got a call from her on Saturday telling me that she couldn’t come. I told her she had best have a really good excuse for not coming since I had just talked to her on Thursday night and she said she would love to come. She then told me that after she hung up from talking to me she started to have a pain in her stomach and that it got so bad that she called her Mom to take her to the hospital.

She had surgery on Friday for a perforated Colon and was in the hospital when she called me. Now that’s what I call a REALLY good excuse. She was told on Tuesday that she had a tumor and it was positive for cancer. The docs think they got it all but she has to do Chemo. I feel so bad that I have let our friendship fall to the side so much that she didn’t think to call me that night when she needed someone. When Lar was alive we saw each other a lot. Since his death we both have gone our own way, not seeing each other for weeks. Over the past few months we have been trying to get together more. I will watch her dog Morgan for her when she needs me. One of my new goals for this year is to be a better friend. I’ve never been good at keeping up friendships. I’ve always left it up to the other person to carry on, but I’m going to work on it with the rest of the stuff I have to work on..

I didn’t go to the gym at all last week for one reason or other. I did work in my yard raking for four hours on Monday and that’s about all the exercise I got all week. I really couldn’t tell you what I ate all week…except the box of Girl Scout Cookies (I remember those). I should have walked Morgan (my neighbors dog) but again I didn’t. A lost opportunity!
I did get off my  FB (in my case it's not FaceBook but Fat Butt) and signed up for 2 hikes this morning. The first on is this coming Monday afternoon.. I almost let my IC convince me that I couldn’t do it because I can’t afford the gas monies to get to the park..(it’s on the other side of town) and that with this extra weight I’ve gained this past couple of weeks I won’t be able to keep up with everyone. Then I looked over the description of the hike again this morning and it looks like one I can do (there are 5 other 60+ people on the hike so I WILL NOT use my age as an excuse). I’ll just have to figure out the monies because I really do want to go.

I went to the gym tonight and had a good workout. I pushed myself pretty hard. Did a lower body workout. I sure hope my legs don't hurt me on Monday...that's the risk I take going to the gym. I'm planning on working my upper body tomorrow night. I like going on Saturday night because I can workout in the weight room.  The last time I was there I had a really good looking guy "spot" for me. 

Life goes on! More later!

Thinner or Stronger?

It's rain here this morning and I'm feeling achey all over. Sometimes getting old isn't much fun. Am I complaining....NO just stating a fact.  I've got my gym bag packed for tonight and even if I'm still achey I know I will feel better after I work out. I probably won't do any cardio tonight as it is Monday and EVERYONE hits the gym on Monday, and it seems like they are all on the treadmill. I will not use that as an excuse Not to go (although I'm tempted and that's why I posted it here so I can't use it as an excuse..lol)

I did go to the gym last night and because it was Sunday I actually got to work out in the weight room. I love working with the free weights but I feel that since I'm not a "serious" weight lifter that I shouldn't take up a bench when there are "serious" guys there working out...For some reason Saturdays & Sundays there are only a few "serious" people there and I can always get a bench. I upped my weights last night on bench presses and felt better about my progress than I have in awhile. It's been tough since I've been back because I had to drop my weights back almost to where I was when I started 5 years ago..but I'm getting stronger every time I go in.  This is my favorite time at the gym..I figure I will be one of the oldest "STRONG" lady around..The problem with weight training is that muscle weighs more than fat so although I feel I'm getting stronger I'm not losing the weight like I should be. So Do I want to be thinner or do I want to be stronger?
I am doing some cardio at the gym (this should help with losing weight)..I like a good warm up of about 20 mins (this is about all I can stand doing on the treadmill) and I'm trying to get back into running. My knee has been giving me trouble lately but I dug out my knee brace and have been wearing it. I've gotten my time down on doing a mile to less than 14 mins (that's down from 18 mins). This is interval running and walking (mostly walking right now) on the random setting with an incline of 7. I've been working up a pretty damn good sweat doing this..and it's a good warm up before I go do the weights which is my main goal.

I did good on my eating yesterday..I had my oatmeal for breakfast..took a spinach salad with grapes for lunch. some crackers with my hummus/avocado dip for snack and when I got home I fixed myself some veggie soup for dinner. It was nice eating what I like and feeling satisfied.


Good news...starting the first of November I will be getting off work on Sundays and Mondays instead of Tues & Weds..this means that I will be able to get in some Sunday hikes with my AOC group. With the weather getting cooler I can't wait.  I probably won't get back into backpacking this year but hopefully by spring I will be able to get in at least one trip..it's a goal to work for.

The answer to my question of whether I want to be thinner or stronger is ....ta da...I want to be both...I want to be a thinner stronger person..that's what I was a couple of years ago and I want that back. I know with hard work I CAN DO IT!

So far it's working for me!

Taking pictures of what I'm eating everyday and posting it here has really helped me curb my "mindless" eating in the evening...also at work where for some reason he's has started to bring in junk foods...

I've had to fight (and win) with my IC every night but I'm determined if I'm going to do this I'm going to do it honestly and right...that means I will not give into my inner child who argues with me that I can still have just a few bites of something and not take a picture..especially in the evening when I want something sweet..Nope so far every bite of Food that I've eaten has had it's picture taken...And I've found a way to satisfy that sweet tooth of mine in the evening..I have a cup of hot tea with honey instead..I don't take a picture of it because I feel that my real struggle is with food not what I drink..If I'm having tea with my meal then it will be included other wise not.

The one thing I've found interesting is that by this Picture Taking..I've had to really think about what I'm eating...I want the picture to look good...No more eating out of the pan that I cooked it in or the package...
no more grab & eat...I actually have to wait a few minutes before stuffing food into my mouth..a lot of times this gives me time to realize I really don't want it..for instance I've had the one fudgesickle for over a week..a couple times in the evening I started to eat it when I realized a cup of hot tea would satisfy me just as well..
Last night when I came home from work I was hot and tired, didn't feel really good and wanted that fudgesickle...(even after I took the picture) so I decided to eat it without any guilt...It was good and just what I needed...
I may not be losing any weight but I feel better because I feel that I have CONTROL over what I'm eating now...with "mindless" eating there is no Control...

So on Weds I went "hiking" with my AOC group...I say "hiking" because it really was just a walk in the park and not a hike. We only did 2 1/2 miles at a local park and it was more like a "social" walk...but it was for beginners and Pam (the leader) had a lot of information to give new hikers.. I did my part in being the "sweeper" bringing up the rear of the group...It was fun..not sure how much exercise I really got though..

Tonight I'm headed over to my friend Lettie's for a Candlelight Party...There will be food I'm sure but I never have problems with that..Although I'm thinking I probably eat more than I realize just grazing on food..so I will have my handy dandy cell camera with me...and before it goes in my mouth there will be a picture taken...

Tomorrow morning (bright and early) is my 5K walk/run...I haven't done well on the Big Plan I had to get myself into running so I will most likely walk most of the way..I won't be surprized if I'm one of the last peoples to finish..but I know I'll finish...I'm not worried that I can't do it because I know I can do 3 miles pretty easy walking...My daughter says she's coming to cheer me on..I've got my new Knee Strap so that should help with my right knee which has been giving me a lot of pain in the morning...

On the Positive Side...I've been taking my vitamins & supplements all week...still hate it but I know that I need them...

Challenge for Me!

Last night I watched Season 10 The Biggest Loser first episode...Now understand that I'm not one of the shows "biggest" fans (lol)..I was faithful for the first 2 seasons but got tired of the unrealistic way they did the show and all the "drama"...but I do like to see the first episode to see who is going to "the Ranch"...to hear the contestants stories..how they got to thier size and what is motivating them...then I'll tune in every once in awhile just to see how they are doing..I say "unrealistic" because I don't believe that anyone can lose as much weight as they do on this show WITHOUT help...6 hrs of exercise a day..who can do that..you definately need a medical person on staff with you...
Anyway back to the show...TBL went to 7 cities (Atlanta included) and had 3 contestants from each city in competition against each other to see which 2 would go to "The Ranch" (I figure the 3rd person will eventually end up on the show sooner or later)..Now understand each of these contestants are at least 100 pounds overweight (if not more) and they expected them to either do a 1 mile run or 500 step-ups on a platform..That would be like a normal person doing it while carrying a 100 # bag of something...I cringe just to think about it...

I'm not sure I could do the 500 step-ups.(even without carrying anything)..so it got me to thinking about Challenging myself to see if I could..Since I don't have a Platform (and I don't want to do this at the gym) I looked around the house to see what I had that would work...and the closest thing I could find is step up out on the back patio. I've been doing the Stair"Monster" at the gym but I really don't pay any attention on how my steps I actually do..I just put my time (20 mins) in and then get off..It kicks my butt everytime..So MY

CHALLENGE to myself is to see IF I can do 500 step-ups and how long it takes me..I did do 100 pretty easy today just to see if the step would work but didn't time myself..I figure I'll do it in the morning before coming here and going to work...then as I get better at it..I'll move over to where it's a higher step..until I can do that..this is a great workout for the butt..and I've been b*tching lately (to myself)  about how WIDE and SAGGY my butt is...

Back to the show...one of the things that was said last night that made me stop and think(I think Bob said it) is that "Obesity has surpassed smoking as number one cause of preventable deaths in this country"..This is not only sad but SCARY...we are literally EATING ourselves to our deaths...Being a child of the 60's I can remember all the hoopla that came out when the Surgeon General declared smoking hazardous to our health and how everyone jumped on the bandwagon to quit..second hand smoking was and still is considered hazardous...I can see how Eating can be "hazardous" also but it's something we need for our bodies...so maybe we could say "UNHEALTHY"  EATING is Hazardous to our health..

I actually cried a couple of times during the show...(I know I'm really a softy at heart)..one was when Corey a 27 yr old man with dreadlocks (in Portland) actually collapsed 20 yds from the finish line of the 1 mile challenge..I was so cheering for him..he needs help so much..he weighs 391 pounds and is sooo young..to think that he couldn't even make 1 mile makes me cry for him...

The other was when a young mother Lisa in Oklahoma City was telling about having to take her young daughter to the emergency room because she couldn't see..She found out that her daughter was very dehydrated and was literally starving herself because she didn't want to be heavy like her mom..and the sad thing is the stats show that this child has a reason to worry...Jacksh*t blogged about this today. I know that when my daughter was growing up it was a BIG worry for me, but not enough for me to change our (my husbands and mine) way of eating..I used my husband as an excuse but that's exactly what it was..Now I see my daughter (who has gained extra weight in the last few years) doing the same thing..although her daughter isn't heavy (yet), my g'son has the potential to be heavy..this worries me that it's all my fault that she is heavy now and that the g'kids will carry that tradition into their lives..It's not a good thing..

Today is the first day of Fall...why is it still hot here in Atlanta...of course pretty soon I'll be bitching about the cold..so I guess I'll just go an enjoy the heat while I can..

I'm off to find something comfortable to wear this evening on my hike..Hopefully I'll see the moon again tonight...it was so pretty last night.

No Excuses and No Apologizes

Today is my day off and I haven't done anything that I can be proud of except play on the computer, think about what I can eat... and..Oh yeah..I read a book! No exercise at all...am I discouraged with myself..NOPE...I just felt like taking a day off..NO excuses..no apologizes..I just did it!

I weighed myself this morning and I've actually lost 2 pounds this past week...(I'm determined that I'm not going to find them next week)..to some 2 pounds may not sound like a lot but to me it's a start and so much better than I've been doing in the past few months (I've gained since I started blogging)
So No Excuses and No Apologizes..I say waaahooo here I go!

I've actually done good on eating today..although I've done a lot of thinking about Just what I can eat..knowing that I'm going to take a picture of anything that goes into my mouth has made me really AWARE of just what I'm going to eat...Made me have to stop and think..

Last night I almost listened to my IC (inner child) to not take the picture of the popcorn and just eat it..if no one knows that I ate it then it doesn't count..right? But I took a firm hand with IC and said that if this is going to work for me then I have to be HONEST..I still ate the popcorn but it was only a half of mini bag (I stopped the microwave before all of it popped..lots of kernels that I couldn't eat)..it was good and I figured I hadn't done all that bad on what I ate all day...so No excuses and No Apologizes to myself...Like I said before..I'm not going to deny myself foods but I will make sure that I don't go overboard!  
(I've taken pictures of EVERYTHING I've eaten so far today and will post it Before I go to bed..that way if I decide to have a snack it will be included)..

I'm going on a hike tomorrow evening across town with the AOC group..it's a beginners hike but since I work on weekends I can't be too picky..besides I'm taking my friend Lettie with me..she's been wanting to hike...also I know the trip leader, been backpacking with her a couple of times, and She's a hoot...I really like her..She's asked me to be the "sweeper" for the group so she can concentrate on all the "newbies"...Just in case you didn't know the "sweeper" is the last person on the trail to make sure there aren't any stragglers or that anyone gets lost..Since this is where I like to hike anyway it works out great..should be a nice nice for hiking...I just wish I hadn't lost my headlamp just in case it gets dark on us..I do have a small flashlight that I can take just in case..It should be fun and I can get some exercise in..I'm not worried about this hike like I was the last one I went on..I know that I will do all right..I've been doing the treadmill and the stair"monster" at the gym and feel much better about doing anything cardio..besides I've decided that I will just do what I can ...No excuses and No Apologies...

I'm off to steam me some veggies and grill some fish for dinner (and take a picture) then maybe watch some tv...continuing with my DAY OFF...and making NO excuses and No apologizes...

Hiking!

I've signed up for a hike Tuesday afternoon. It's suppose to be an easy D3 hike but the team leader mentioned in her description that since this is a fairly easy trail that the pace will be moderate to fast..Then I looked to see who signed up for the hike and it's all 40 year olds.  I know that I can do the hike but fast? Not sure about that..The reason I gave up hiking was not because I couldn't do it but because I'm so slow..That's me Slow & Steady..once I start I never stop to rest until I'm done..No matter what I'm going to do this hike but I can't help but worry! I remember hiking with people who couldn't do the hike and how it made everyone grumble..and I don't want to be the one that ruins the hike for everyone. I've been walking on the treadmill at the gym..which to me is harder than walking on the trail..at least the trail isn't so boring and hate having the mill move under my feet..at least on the trail it doesn't move..Well..I'm going to stop worrying and I'm just going to enjoy the hike. It's close to home..in fact it's at the park that I usually go walking at and I've been wanting to go off the main trail anyway..I'm not going to worry about my age because most of my friends are lots younger than me.

On the Positive Side...I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Haven't allowed myself any negative self talk for a while. :-) and tomorrow is Monday (my Friday because I'm off on Tuesday and Wednesday).

April Hike

Starting out strong here..I just signed up for my April Hike with Atlanta Outdoor Club (to be referred as AOC from here on) on April 18th..
 In the spirit of fun I signed up for Barefoot Hiking @ Ft Yargo which is just down the road from where I live..not sure how far I'll be hiking barefoot but it sounded fun and should give me time to toughen up my feet.
I do go barefoot around the house all the time but have become a sissy outside...besides I have too many SweetGum trees in my yard.

For exercise this weekend I plan on doing some yardwork! Mowing and maybe some raking but I think I'll wear my shoes..LOL.

9 pm (note to self)...just realized that I have the yearly April Party with All my THUS friends on the 17th..which will be an all nighter....What was I thinking?  So now I'm going to have to cancel the hike and look for another one...drat barefoot hiking sounds like so much fun.