Working on changing my life

not just physically but mentally also. 

I've been doing a part time job for the past year that I felt that I had to stick it out although in many ways it was making me miserable.  I kept telling myself that I was Lucky to have the job. I did not believe in myself enough to really go out and find a better one. I've been living on a shoe string for the past 4 years and I'm scared to step out and take a chance on myself.  I talk big about how I want to improve myself and my situation but believing in myself enough to actually do it is another thing.

For the last month or so I've been looking on line at differant jobs...even applied for some but never heard back from them... I was looking at warehouse jobs, working at bookstores, any entry level job that I could find..but then one day while driving it came to me...obviously someone is trying to tell me something (god?).
My whole adult life has been about caregiving for special needs...First my son and then Larry...then when I was driving the school bus the part I enjoyed the most was when I did Community Skills with the special needs kids..in fact I want to be a special needs driver but you have to drive the regular bus for 3 years (I only made it 2 years)..and for the past year I have worked part time with Mike (who has CP and is mentally challenged). So why was I fighting it...I know I'm not certified but I am definatley experienced!

In the most part I liked working with Mike..I hate the hours (which is a split shift..working in the morning and going back at night) and the never knowing if his Grandmother (who has custody of him) will call me 10 mins before I am getting ready to leave the house to tell me they don't need me that day. (this has happened several times)..The most hours I could get is 30 but most of the times it runs from 20-26 hrs...and I only get paid for the hours I work..There are other things that really bother me about this job personally but I've dealt with them for the past year so feel that if I had to I could..but I really don't want to.

So anyway after preaching to myself here about believing in myself I found a site Care.com that helps find people to take care of special needs clients..It's free and has a lot of information on it..so I took the plunge and applied for the one that I know that I can be good at..the hours are good..I won't have weekends but I do get Tues & Weds off each week and it is full time...not part time..I went for an interview on Weds and was offered the job...I've accepted and gave notice at my part time job..so now I'm waiting for approval from the Medicaid Provider that will actually be paying me and then I will start anew again..

The job will be challenging because I will be taking care of a young woman who has Turner Syndrome (I had never heard of this before but I've gone on line and checked it out) and some other disablities but I believe in myself enough to say I CAN DO THIS...

More later...