Jeans

So I've been wearing these baggy stretchy pants (on the right) because I thought they looked more "age appropriate" and I also thought they were more comfortable than my regular jeans that got too tight on me.  With my reflux I have to be careful not to wear tight clothes around my stomach because it causes the acids to back up on me and I cough more than I normally do. The thing is with these pants I feel sloppy and fat.

The other day I found these stretchy jeans (in the same size) at WalMart on sale (on the left) which are form fitting. I love them but am worried that at my age I should be wearing the baggy pants. With these pants I find myself holding in my stomach and standing up straighter. I love the way the feel on my legs. They do have a stretch waistband so they are not tight on my stomach (YAY) so no more reflux than usual...

 So I decided to take a picture (with my cell phone) of me in both with everything the same except the pants to compare and  see which one I feel looks better. I really tried to get the same position and I think I got close but WOW what a difference. I don't care if it isn't "age appropriate" to wear the tighter (I like to call them my skinny jeans) ones and I want to buy another pair in blue jean color.  I think it's important to feel good about what you are wearing. (I like my calves in the tighter pants)...
More Later

Not giving up

just haven't been able to organize my mind enough to sit down and actually type up a blog.  When I'm in my truck I can think of all kinds of things (not boring) to write but when I sit down to my computer it's all gone..my mind is blank or there is so much jumbled in there that I can't get  a coherent sentence out.

I still haven't gone to the doc to check out to see if it is my Thyroid but I have gone to the gym a few times and I did a Abs workout this morning while listening to an old CD that I found..Mountain Serenity...cool music with bird calls and waterfall sounds..very relaxing. I feel better today than I have been. That could be because I've been going to bed early..I've been so cold that it seems the only place I can get warm is in my bed...I do have a tv in my bedroom so I've been watching it in the evenings.

My friend C gave me his old laptop that he had dropped and #1 niece fixed it for me so the plan is for me to take it to work with me and maybe I can come up with some good blogs and post them. We'll see how that works...no promises...I did call the phone company and sign up for DSL service so no more dial up..that should make my life easier?

More later!

I just don't get it!

Last week I didn't do a bit of exercise...No gym, no TaeBo workout & none of the new workout program.
I was discouraged because the week that I did ALL I gained ...true it was only .5 pounds but come on, here I was sweating my butt off morning and night and I still couldn't even get a .5 pound loss...instead I gained...So when the snowstorm hit I was depressed..couldn't get out to the gym if I wanted too...and I just couldn't find the motivation to pop in the TaeBo workout and definitely didn't want to do the new workout with the dreaded "Inchworm"...So for 3 days I stayed home and did absolutely nothing...just sat around and watched the news on tv...oh yeah I did clean up my spare room the first day of the storm but truthfully that only took me about a half hour and there wasn't all that much "exercise" to it. It felt good knowing the room was clean enough so that IF I had company and they saw it they wouldn't think me a "slob". The 4th day of the storm I did go out and shovel my driveway..that was a workout and it took me 3 hours...but otherwise there was NO exercise all last week....
Anyway I decided that I would weigh myself this morning....a scary thing...I said my little prayer that I didn't gain but at least stayed the same weight...Would you believe I LOST 2 pounds...I just don't get it!

I've been checking into Hypothyroidism....I'm thinking that I might have a thyroid problem...from the article I read it seems that women 60 yrs and older are at the highest risk. What is hypothyroidism?

Hypothyroidism means your thyroid is not making enough thyroid hormone. The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck. It makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy.

Most of the signs are there for me...
weight gain, dry skin & brittle nails, depression, bothered by cold,  & memory problems. It's been weird for me that I never had any problem losing weight 5 years ago doing the same things I'm doing now. I noticed my nails about a month ago and figured I wasn't getting enough nutrients in my diet. I've dealt with depression all my life but lately it seems to hit me more often and is harder for me to control. This past summer I noticed that I'm always cold at night...I've always loved going backpacking in the winter more than summer but I just couldn't face the cold this past winter, I figured it was due to the weight I'm carrying but now I'm thinking maybe there is something physically wrong with me...It would be nice if my memory loss is something physical too...it worries me that I have such a hard time remembering things...especially since I love to learn. I know that I'm in line for Alzheimer's and worry about it but knowing that there really isn't anything I can do about that now I just try to live my life to the fullest I can. And to do that I need to be as fit as I can get. There are so many things I still want to do NOW...and my weight is keeping me from doing it...so what is the answer?
Since I don't have health insurance I'm going to check into one of these "minute clinics" to see if they can do the blood test to test for Hypothyroidism. In ways it would be nice to have an answer and know that there is a treatment for it...My #1 niece is on medication for it...so I know it runs in the family...


I did do my new workout this morning...not because I think it's going to help me lose this weight but because I feel better if I exercise...I made a commitment to doing this 12 week workout program and I'm not going to let a little setback stop me from completing it.
As always I go forward...never letting obstacles get in my way...leaping over tall building here...see my cape flying in the sky. LOL

Day 6 of Atlanta Snowstorm

 Tip:There's no such thing as failure. There's only feedback. Stop judging yourself & start recognizing it for what it is, an entry point for learning. The truth is, if you're not failing then you're not really reaching & really trying. If you don't like the outcome of a situation, learn from it, make corrections & reap...proach wiser & stronger until you achieve your goals. Success is in big part a matter of attrition. Jullian Michaels on FB

Day 4 the sun is finally shining and I make it to work!



Let it snow....someplace else!

 It hasn't been a good past week for me...I'm still having trouble getting motivated and am still not feeling well.
More later!

Why?

Why is it so easy to get discouraged and so hard to stay motivated?
Still have this headache (might be from too much reading) and achy feeling all over this morning. Didn't do any exercise.
I'm on my way over to a friends (an that all he is "a friend") place maybe he can cheer me up and help me get motivated. He has an old laptop he's giving me. He dropped it and it isn't working so he got a new one instead of getting it fixed. All I have to do is see about getting it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed that it won't take much to fix. Will let my #1 niece look at it..she's good at that kind of thing.

I like my new look on the blog...but still not in the mood to be witty or insightful..maybe tomorrow will be better.
More later

not feeling good about myself

I did a no no yesterday and weighed myself.(instead of waiting til Monday)..I was hoping for maybe a .5# loss but instead I've gained .5#..
Not sure what is going on with my body...it might be something medically wrong with me (like a thyroid problem) but since I don't have any medical insurance I won't be going to a doctor to find out. I'll just have to keep trying my own way. I didn't do any workout yesterday because I'm still dealing with a headache and some bowel problems (also being discouraged), still not feeling too good today so didn't workout again this morning. I still have my 3rd workout for this week to do and I'm hoping I will feel better tomorrow (my day off) so I can get it done. I will say that if this workout didn't have the dreaded "Inchworm" I would have probably done it no matter how I felt this morning (haha so I tell myself)...

I need an attitude adjustment today...good thing I'm off work tomorrow...We are expecting a big snow storm to come in latter tomorrow so I need to get to the store to buy "whatever" I need in case I get snowed in...LOL...Atlanta is so funny about that...I do have firewood, candles and my books (and 3 headlamps just in case) so I am ready...
More later

Running late AGAIN!

But I did do my TaeBo (really pushed myself and sweated up a storm..whoohooo), Vitamins & Supplements taken, did my dishes and paid my bills on line so I think I might be forgiven today.

I didn't go to the gym last night.I had tummy problems and a terrific headache but am feeling better this morning so still have my gym bag packed and plan on going tonight.

Having my yummy veggie soup for lunch today again.
No time for words of wisdom today..maybe tomorrow...lol
More later

Not letting my inner voice rule the day!

When I woke up this morning, I laid in bed and thought about how much I hate the "inchworm" and almost had myself convinced that I couldn't do it today...but I know that if I give into that inner voice today, it will just be that much harder tomorrow. So I got out of bed and did my 2nd day of the new workout. It wasn't easy to get my mind set but by the  time I got to the "inchworm" I knew that I would do all 10 of them no matter what.. I Can't let that inner voice control me anymore. I'm determined to make it through the next 4 weeks keeping to my plan. I will do the new workout 3 times a week. I will go to the gym at least 3 times a week, if not more. I will get cardio everyday (except my rest day). I know that it won't be easy and there will be lots of excuses that my inner voice will come up with but if I give up on this program then I will fail myself. I know I can do this and I WILL.

I did go to the gym last night after work..almost let the inner voice talk me out of it when I saw all the cars in the parking lot. All the New Year Resolutioners were there in full. I did 20 mins on the treadmill (had to use one of the ones that the incline doesn't work on because they were all busy)..and I did an upper body workout with the weight machines. No way was I going to go into the weight room to work with the free weights..I've got my gym bag packed for tonight!

Added some dark red kidney beans to my homemade veggie soup to take to work with me for lunch. The thing I love about making homemade veggie soup is that I can add something differant to it each day...

So today so far I've done my morning exercise workout, taken my vitamins & supplements, packed my gym bag and lunch and gave myself a pat on the back...Not Bad..
Feeling pretty darn good!
More later!

Running late today!

I did my TaeBo tape this morning and got all sweaty..took my shower and checked my emails...now I'm out of time for anything else..Good thing I packed my gym bag and lunch last night...
Feeling good today!

Damage Control!

I've been afraid to weigh myself the last couple of weeks. I just knew with eating the way I have and not getting as much exercise as I should that I was back up to where I was when I began this blog.
So I "bit the bullet" and got on the scale this morning (after making sure I emptied my bladder because we all know that make a big difference...LOL). I did gain but not as much as I thought I had. I weighed in at 215.2 pounds..a 3 pound gain...not good but better than I thought. My goal is to be under 200 by my birthday...

I've done my "new" exercise program this morning. It took me 30 mins, which I'm okay with but as the weeks progress they will take longer..I'm not sure about this but I'm going to give it my "all". I did work up a good sweat doing them even though they are pretty simple exercises..The one I hate the most is the "Inchworm".
Step 1
Starting Position: From a standing position with your feet together or slightly apart, stiffen (“brace”) your abdominal muscles to stabilize your spine. (This I can do)
Step 2
Gently exhale and bend forward from your hips ("hip hinging"), keeping your knees extended (but not locked), and extend your arms in front of your body while slowly lowering your torso towards the floor until you can place your fingers or palms of your hands on the floor in front of your body. Maintaining a flat spine and a soft bend in your knees during this movement is acceptable.
Step 3
Slowly begin to walk your hands forward (6-12” or 12 ½ - 25 cm steps) without moving your feet (your heels will begin to rise off the floor). Continue walking yourself forward until you reach a full-push-up position where your spine, hips and head are level with the floor (plank position).
Step 4
Perform one full push-up (HA), lowering your chest and hips simultaneously to the floor while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards during this downward phase. Continue to lower yourself until your chest or chin touch the floor (No way..if I go all the way I can't get back up). Allow your elbows to flare outwards during the lowering phase.
Step 5
Press upwards through your arms while maintaining a rigid torso and head aligned with your spine. Do not allow your low back to sag or your hips to hike upwards. Continue pressing until the arms fully extend at the elbows. Slowly begin walking your feet forward towards your hands, taking 6-12” steps without moving your hands. Maintain a flat spine throughout and continue walking until your feet are close to your hands.
Step 6
Repeat this movement and continue for 10 – 15 yards (9-13 m).
I never did get a "full" push-up. I thought that I would have more trouble getting down but it was getting back up from the down position that caused me problems..My arms are too short! I always say this and no one ever believes me..LOL. I had to do 10 and by the last one I was moaning.. The only good thing about it was this is the last exercise before cool down. I wanted to quit at 3 but made myself do all 10 just to prove that I could do it. What makes it worse is that my daughter can do this one easy..she makes it look like a "cake walk"...I'll just keep working at it until I get right!

Well enough fun..I'm off to get my hair cut this morning...and of course it looks good today..never fails..but I'm still getting it cut short! Short for me is so much better.. I don't have to mess with it in the morning..gives me more time to do my exercise...hmmmmm!

More later

I have all the tools!

There is no reason for me not to reach my goal. I have only myself to answer to if I fail (and I hate failure). As this new year begins I'm taking a look at what I need to do to get motivated to get fit and to stay that way once I get there.

I've set a goal to be able to fit into my size 12/14 pants (the ones I've packed away) by my birthday in April. To accomplish this I'm adding a new 12 week workout program (found online with ACE) to what I'm already doing as I feel that I haven't pushed myself as much as I can. Friday night I went over to my daughters and we went through the exercises & cool down stretches. I find that although I am "freakish" strong I am still very out of shape, especially as far as my core/abs and being able to do "floor" exercise (which I hate). We had a lot of laughs because my body just doesn't want to do some of these things. For instance the "Child Pose" which I've never been able to keep my butt down on my heels even when I was doing Pilate's at my "goal" weight. I just have too big of a butt! Today I typed up a workout sheet to help me keep on track for the next 4 weeks. My plan is to do these exercises & stretches 3 times a week in the morning alternating with a couple of days of doing my TaeBo tape. I will treat myself with going to the gym and lifting weights after work. I love feeling strong especially when I'm lifting weights. Like I said I think I'm "freakishly" strong. I can bench press 95-100 pounds.

The pants won't be my only motivation/reward. I've got my sight set on a 4 hr "Wild Edibles" class to learn the basics of identifying, collecting & preparing wild plants. It will also cover poisonous plants to avoid. This is something I've always been interested in but never had a chance to do. My outdoor group is doing this and a hike on my birthday in April but the sign up isn't until the first of March. The class is on a Saturday which I'm suppose to work but I'm promising myself that if I can stay on "plan" then I will take the day off and do this as a reward.

To reach my goal I know that what I really have to get under control is my diet/foods. For the past couple of weeks I've been out of control. Not just eating sweets but constantly putting something in my mouth whether I was hungry or not. I have the knowledge on what I can eat and get healthy. I have lots of cookbooks and am constantly looking for new healthy vegetarian recipes on line. The biggest challenge will to be to get back to eating fresh veggies and stay within my budget of $30-$40 a week for groceries.  I know for me it works best if I eat 5 instead of 3 small meals a day. I may not be able to afford the organic foods that I ate when I lost the weight before but I think I can still eat healthy with what I can afford..fresh & frozen veggies are good too.

I know that I get to discouraged when I TRY to keep written track of what I eat and calories but I'm pretty good at reading labels so I don't buy high calorie foods. I do have to watch my portion control. This morning I cleaned out my fridge and threw into my mulch bin all of the left over sweets (from Christmas) which included the rest of the brownies, eggnog fudge, eggnog/cherry/pecan quick bread and mini cheesecakes. I did save the small candy canes which I plan on sucking/eating when I have a craving to eat in between meals.
Hopefully by the time I run out of them I will have this mindless eating under control.

I still get emails from SparkPeople which gives me recipes & motivational articles. Also I check out daily other blogs for motivation. My daughter is trying to lose weight too and is doing the new workout also. So we will give each other motivation.

I can't think of anything else I need or could use (except more money) to get to my goal.

Choices

As this old year ends and a new year begins I think about the choices I've made and the choices I need to make in the future.

WORK...I chose to not go back into the office environment and to do what I've been doing most of life and become a Home Health Caregiver. Altho it doesn't pay any where near what I would be getting in the office, for me it's a lot less stressful and something I know I can do. I don't have to worry that my memory will fail me and that I won't be able to learn the new things I needed to in the office.

DATING....I'm choosing Not to go out of my way to find another mate.  I've pretty much given up on this one...I tried in the past 5 years but have found that I really like being by myself. I have enough "friends" to keep me company when I feel that I need it. If some day I meet someone that makes me feel right then so be it..until then I'm happy being by myself.

FITNESS...going back to the gym a few months ago was one of the best choices for me that I've made in a long time.  It's a stretch some months as far as the money goes but in the long run it is worth it to me. I feel so much better about myself knowing that I can go to the gym and work out. I also have the park, AOC, and TaeBo that I can do...The gym is a treat for myself that I think I deserve and need.
For the New Year I'm thinking about doing a 12 Week Starter Program that http://truth2beingfit.com/ mentioned in her blog yesterday. I think I've talked my Daughter into doing it with me. This will be in addition to the gym and my other activities..the only problem I can foresee is that I HATE floor exercises...but if I'm going to commit to getting back into shape this year then I going to have to do some things that I don't like...the good thing is that starting out it's only 3 days a week...I can do it in the morning before going to work right after getting up. No promises on this one..but I'm going to at least give it a try. If it's not a good fit for me then I will keep looking for something that is..I don't give up!

Everyday Choices are:
Getting out of bed and facing the day no matter what I'm feeling..
Not over eating or starving myself...either one of these DO NOT Work! I need to get back into eating 5 small meals a day.
To keep in touch with my friends and family (it's so easy for me to hide away in my house with a good book ALL of the time).
To blog no matter even if I'm not having a good day or staying on plan!

I didn't go to the gym last night, I ended up staying with Princess Val while her Dad went out with some friends..PV wasn't feeling well and we decided she didn't need to go out. Any way I earned a few extra dollars and this morning I was thinking of what I could spend those extra dollars on. My choices were
(a) a new pair of pants/jeans (I'm down to only 3 pairs that I can wear comfortably) (b) extra groceries or (c) get my hair cut (it's out of control and I hate looking at it in the mirror everyday...I could just chop it off myself)... I decided on C to get my hair cut..I really don't want to spend more money on clothes that I won't be wearing after I lose weight...(talk about motivation) and I already have money set aside for groceries  so I called my hairdresser/friend who I haven't been to in 3 months and made an appt for Monday (my day off)...It was good to talk to her and I'm excited to see her. I know I will feel better about myself after I get this mess my head trimmed up.

Now I'm off to work...More later
Happy New Year!

It's Thursday and I'm so not in the mood!

Yes I did make it to the gym last night. I did the treadmill for 1 mile and then did a leg workout. I know that I need to up my cardio but my right foot was cramping..I haven't been taking my supplements and I can tell it.

So today is a new day and I've already eaten my oatmeal/cranberries and taken my supplements. Now all I have to do is pack my bag for the gym and figure out what I'm going to have for lunch. I haven't been grocery shopping for me in 2 weeks (I did go last week and shop for Xmas Eve dinner and Holiday snacks) and my healthy choices are getting limited..no fresh veggies in the fridge..but I do still have the last of the pizza I had the other night (at least it's spinach & mushroom) and a couple of clematis's (which I absolutely love). I hate grocery shopping when I've got a limited amount of money. As usual It will be a tight month as far as money goes..but no sense in moaning about it..that's just my life anymore.

I wish I could get myself out of this mood I'm in today...I feel like the other shoe needs to drop...not sure what that really means.

I wish

I could say that I've been good this past week...but truthfully I've been VERY bad...I went to the gym only once..I didn't do TaeBo at all and I've eaten everything that I shouldn't have...LOTS and LOTS of sweets!

I feel like sh*t! My reflux is out of control..this from eating so much sugar..I'm coughing up a lung all the time (from the reflux)..eating tons of Tums for heartburn...and I have a constant headache (from the sugar again and not enough veggies)...

I did fix the ham ring for the kids on Xmas Eve and didn't eat it but had some ham left over and added it to my bean soup on Christmas Day...big mistake..one of the reasons I don't eat meat is that it doesn't like me...gives me diarrhea...well I spent most of Saturday night & Sunday morning on the toilet. still dealing with that problem some...it comes and goes... At least I'm getting cleaned out...LOL..

I still have sweets left in the house..I know that I should just throw it out..I did give most of what I made away but then my niece gave me a big tray that she had made up..she's going to school to be a chef...I've pretty much ate everything off that tray and keep telling myself that she went to all the trouble to make it for me I should just enjoy it (BTW she is very very skinny....doesn't have to worry about EVER gaining weight and eats like a pig). I'm not sure what happened to my Will Power this past week...It Totally disappeared...

I had my bag packed for the gym yesterday but could feel another attack of the diarrhea hitting me so I came home instead...and once I'm home that's where I stay...I fixed the frozen Spinach & Mushroom pizza that has been in my freezer for awhile and instead of only eating one piece I ate two!  I felt so stuffed afterwards!
At least I put the rest of it away in the fridge so I wouldn't be tempted later in the evening..I hate cold pizza!

I should be able to get back on track with my exercise today (I hope)...I miss the gym when i don't go but for some reason I've been giving into the inner voice a lot lately...My bag is still packed...I'm fixing veggie soup for lunch and trying to get my head back into the game...

I'm afraid to weigh myself but will do it before the end of the year...I promise! I know from how my clothes feel that I'm probably right back where I started a couple of months ago...I will not let this set back stop me though...I'll just start over again...and I'm not going to wait for the New Year!

A White Christmas in Georgia!



Christmas 2010

 Being from Wyoming and Colorado I grew up with snow on Christmas but I moved here to Georgia in 1986 and have probably seen snow on Christmas here maybe once. I got that good feeling inside me looking out the window this morning, mostly because I knew that I didn't have to go out and drive in it. I'm off work today and tomorrow so I plan on enjoying this gift to the max.

Last night I built a fire in the fireplace and watched a couple of old movies I had and thought about Larry and some of the good times we had together.



Christmas Blizzard 1982

 Christmas Eve 1982 Lar, Robbi, I and our dog Charlie were living in Lakewood Colorado and we had a blizzard. The next morning I got out and shoveled the walk so Lar could come outside. Being from N. Dakota he loved snow, but being in a wheelchair, it was hard for him to get around in snow. One of the reasons we chose Georgia to move to..we thought it would be easier in the winter. I know the picture is blurry but you can at least get an idea of how much snow we had. This is one of my favorite memories! I couldn't believe he came outdoors without his shirt..but he had an inner furnace those days and never seemed to get cold..he would drive his car with the heater blasting and his window down..Did I say that he loved snow! (at least  Robbi dressed warm..yes those are socks on her hands..best mittens ever). Later on that day Lar's best friend Warren came over and we had a snowball fight in the house...Crazy! Lots of Good Memories!

My life now is so quiet compared to when Lar was alive. The thing I love most about him was that you never knew what was going to happen. Each day was an "adventure" with him. There were no "rules"! He was an "one of a Kind of guy" and I miss him as much today as I did 7 years ago when he died. He will always be in my heart!
Altho I miss him I know he wouldn't want me to "mourn" him..he would want me to get out there and live life..which is what I try to do.

I'm off to build another fire in my fireplace, relax with a glass of wine and a good book! My kind of snowy day..no adventures for me today!

More later! Oh yeah...Happy Holidays!  Merry Christmas!

I feel so Righteous!

I went to the gym last night and there was hardly anyone there....It felt like a Saturday night at the gym..I guess everyone is out doing their last minute Christmas Shopping. That is one advantage to having very little money to spend, It doesn't take long to do your shopping.

I've got all my presents (what there is of them) wrapped and ready to give out tomorrow night. I've got most of my meal planned (I'm cooking) and even though I don't eat meat, I'm fixing my kids favorite Ham Ring with Cheese Sauce (for me I'm fixing the little salmon filled pretzels that I came up with a couple of weeks ago)....

I'm not working tomorrow so I will have the whole day off to finish cleaning my house before the kids come over for the annual Christmas Eve get together. This is a good way for all of us to get together and enjoy watching the kids unwrap Christmas presents.  But first we torture them by making them eat a dinner and then the kids read the the Story about Jesus being born on Christmas. We started this when about 13 years ago and it is now tradition. I think Traditions are good!

For today..I've got my gym bag packed and my Wild Rice & Mushroom soup all ready to take with me.
Not sure that I will actually go to the gym but if I have my bag with me that will be one less excuse I can use.

For now that's all I've got..so more later!

My Christmas list!

OK there are material things I want for Christmas (like a digital camera and a fire pit) but the things I really NEED are:
Willpower to get off sugar totally (again) and to stay off from it. I'm so addicted to sugar all it takes is one taste and then I crave it all the time. I've tried the substitutes, they either give me diarrhea, are too costly or don't satisfy my need. Honey comes the closest and I do use it in somethings.

Core Strength.. I find myself slouching all the time and I am constantly reminding myself to pull my shoulders back and sit up straight. It feels good to stretch out my back by sitting up straight and I'm not sure why I end up slouching. I see myself in pictures and I realize that I'm slouching and it makes me look all that much fatter.
When I stand or sit straight I actually look and feel thinner.

Positive Self Image... enough said!

Commitment...and not to the loony bin..I need to find the commitment that I had in 2003 to lose this weight and get myself fit. It was hard work but I did it then and I know I can do it again.

A short list (I'm not greedy) but I so wish I could wake up in the morning and find all of them in my life!

Wait a minute!!!!  I know that somewhere in me I have ALL of these things already. I just have to dig deep,  take them out of storage, dust them off and use them....

Fears Conquered!

Ok..I made it through the hike on Sunday and actually had a really good time.
As for my fears..well here's the list
You'll be the fattest person on the hike.... I was but it didn't seem to bother anyone else so I didn't let it bother me.


You're too out of shape to hike....Although I was really slow going uphill, I kept up with the group on the flats and downhills. We climbed up to the top of the mountain and then back down while it was snowing..
When we started there was just a little snow on the ground but by the time we got back to the cars there was at least 3 inches of snow. The temp was in the low 20's.

You're too old to hike ...Again I was the oldest in the group..but not too old to hike. There were 14 people signed up for this hike. 5 of us showed. The snow flurries scared most people off. Dirk & Peggy are in their 50's, Bill turned 59 on Sunday (I think going for a hike is a great way to celebrate your 59th birthday) and Dunkir (from India) was in his late 30's ...It was a fun group.

You'll wet yourself because your bladder can't wait anymore...used the restroom at the beginning of the hike and never even thought about it after that.

You'll get leg cramps....although I could feel my quads tightening up after about 2 hrs of climbing the hills I never got a leg cramp, I took my calcium and vitamin D before I left to go on the hike.

You won't be able to climb the hills...I just took it slow and steady uphill (and believe me there were a lot of them since we climbed to the top of the mountain) and my trekking poles really helped. I kept telling the others to go ahead and I would meet them at the top because I am so slow but they chose to pretty much stay with me.. We were ALL enjoying the hike and company too much.

You're going to make a fool out of yourself....Didn't happen

You're going to fail (AGAIN)... Didn't happen!

So again I wonder why I put myself through the self doubts before I do something. 

Monday night I went and got re certified for my CPR/AED and I left my cell phone at the fire station where we did the training. Didn't realize it until the next morning. It's weird how I've come to depend on having my phone with me while driving anywhere. I had to go 90 miles just to pick it up so was late to work. TG I have an understanding client. I ended up working late so didn't make it to the gym on Tuesday night.

Last night Atlanta had an ice storm so I chose to come straight home from work rather than push my luck and go to the gym then drive home later. Good thing too...I had just gotten home (which took me about a half hour longer than usual) and they close the road behind my house (the road I take to come home). It has a steep hill with a curve. When I drove it, I geared down, put on my flashers and took it really slow but I still slid most of the way down the hill. I could see the police lights from my kitchen window when I got home so I knew that they had closed it. There were a lot of accidents on the roads last night due to icy roads.
What I don't understand is how it can rain when it's below freezing...It's suppose to snow. I will take snow any day over ICE...I'm lucky that I don't have to go to work until after 10 am so hopefully by then the roads will be in good shape..The weather is suppose to warm up today.

Since I haven't been to the gym for a while, I woke up this morning and decided to get off my fat butt and do my TaeBo tape. My inner voice tried to tell me it's too cold but I didn't listen. I always feel better if I get my body to moving. I've still got my gym bag packed and in the truck but will wait to see if I go tonight or not.

Eating is out of control...I know that I need to get it under control but for some reason I just can't get my head into it right now. Lot's of sweets! I'm afraid to weigh myself...I think my scale is broken (LOL)..I know that I will NOT lose the weight until I can get portion control and the sweets out of my life, just not right now..PLEASE. 

One day at a time!

Why do I do this to myself?

I'm going on a hike today with the AOC (Atlanta Outdoor Club) and as usual I'm nervous about it. I didn't sleep well and I had a dream about going on a hike, kind of like the dream you have where you go back to high school and can't remember your locker combination...this one I get to the meet up and I go to grab my daypack but all that is in it is my sleeping bag..so I leave it and go grab my poles and all I can find is my walking stick, which I figure will work...as I am walking it turns into a broom..that's just the parts that I can remember..

Now don't get me wrong..I love hiking..it's just that I worry so much that I won't be able to do it...that I'll be late getting to the meet up. (I've been there before but it's on the other side of town) or that I will slow everyone up or I will fall and won't be able to get up...I know it's dumb to worry about it but I just can't seem to stop.

I so want to get back into hiking but I have all these negative thoughts going through my mind:
You'll be the fattest person on the hike
You're too out of shape to hike
You're too old to hike
You'll wet yourself because your bladder can't wait anymore
You'll get leg cramps
You won't be able to climb the hills
You're going to make a fool out of yourself
You're going to fail (AGAIN)...

OK..I've got to conquer those fears and JUST DO IT... and if any of my fears are realized I will live with that too...but if I don't try then I will Fail myself...
More Later

Christmas Temptation!

Chocolate Covered Cherries! OMG!...I've been patting myself on my back because every time I go to the store I've passed up buying any CCC...This has always been one of my biggest downfalls in life. I could eat a whole box by myself in one sitting.

I think my obsession with CCC started when I was a kid. I grew up very poor. My Mom was a single mother with four kids...Not easy in the 50's & 60's...We were on welfare in a small town. I have to say this for my Mom..she did her best..We always had a Christmas! My Mom's one weakness was CCC...she loved them..but when you have 4 kids who also loved any thing sweet any time there were CCC in the house, she was lucky if she got even one....So she would buy herself a box at Christmas and hide it...I don't know if my siblings knew that she did this..but I knew...usually because she sent me out to buy them...I would dream about those CCC...I would have traded my toys for a box...And probably for that reason CCC & Christmas seem to go together for me..I never crave them any other time...oh If I see them at the store I think to myself it would be nice to have a box..but I can pass them up without too much trouble.

Another funny CCC story is one that happened when my daughter was a teen and we had just moved to Atlanta. I had bought a box of CCC and brought them home..That box of CCC hardly made it through the door before it was devoured (not just by me)...So I figured it would be a good present if I bought each of us our own box and wrap it up and put it under the tree...Well, as Christmas got closer, I noticed that there were a lot more than the three boxes that I had put there in the same shape...It seems that Robbi, her Boyfriend & Larry had the same idea...When we opened the boxes on Christmas morn there were 16 boxes of CCC...Now you think this would have cured me of my CCC obsession..(and truthfully it did for a couple of years) but this year it seems to be in full force...

But as I said I've been doing real good restraining myself, reminding myself that all that sugar tears up my stomach...makes me cough and I REALLY don't need it..also I can use the money on something else...

So tonight I stopped over to my daughters for (supposedly) a moment...(it actually ended up longer) and my SIL tries to give me a box of CCC..it seems like there was sale and he bought 4 boxes...NOW you can be proud of me...because I said NO...I really wanted to say YES, YES & Yes....but I know me I couldn't just eat one piece of candy I would end up eating that whole box (probably in my truck on my way home).

One thing that helped me control myself is that I signed up for a hike on Sunday and I've got to stay Totally away from ALL sugars this next 3 days or I will end up coughing and with heartburn..and I hate that..

But I'm determined that the Christmas Temptation will not win this year!

Wish me Luck because it seems that they (CCC) are everywhere!