Time to get Serious!

I'm feeling pretty good this morning! I've got my bag packed for the gym tonight, figured out what I'm going to take to work for lunch (although my boss has agreed to supply me with lunch his fridge yesterday didn't hold anything I wanted, so I will take my own today) and I actually took my Vitamin & Supplements today..

Vitamins & Supplements...The cramp in my foot the other day and the aches in my knee and hip joints tells me that I need to Seriously look at my diet and to start back on my Vitamins and Supplements...I'm so bad about taking them and I know that I need them and feel better when I take them. I used to (in the good ole days) take a variety of supplements and a protein drink every morning before going to the gym. But for some reason (mostly monies) I decided 2 years ago to stop all. First all let me tell you I've ALWAYS HATED taking pills..they get stuck on the way down...The vitamins I take with IRON repeat on me..just the smell of IRON makes me sick.which probably dates back to when I was a kid and had to take this liquid iron medicine everyday...I had rickets due to a poor diet...I know now that My Mom did her best but trying to bring up 4 kids by yourself on welfare in the 50's had to be really Tough..I could blame my Mom on my eating habits and the reason I got fat in the first place but It wouldn't serve any purpose now because I can't change what happened then only what happens NOW. 

(Warning Tangent coming)
Like any one who has ever been fat and lost and gained it back (yoyoyoyoing) I've tried many differant "diets", bought & read alot of books on what I'm "suppose" to be eating and even joined the support groups..eDiets & SparkPeople so I KNOW what is " right"  and what is "wrong" to eat..I KNOW what I need to be doing NOW and I know that I can take the weight off (once I really set my mind to it)..I've done it before..but what really worries me is that I won't keep it off..that something deep down inside me WANTS to be FAT...it's where my "Comfort Zone" is..I thought I had all this figured out the last time I lost the weight..I thought I had fought all my demons and won...but obviously I didn't or I won't have fallen back when things went "bad" for me. The thing is I also KNOW that this HAS to be the last time I do this Battle because I don't have any time left...For Pete's Sake I'm 60 years old...I think I'm am the oldest "Dieter" in Blogland...I'm just too Old to keep doing this..As Susan Powers Said ..I need to "STOP THE INSANITY"..
I need to Stop making excuses and get serious about What I am eating! I want to feel good about myself with the time I do have left.

So I'm taking a good hard look at every bite of food I take (I hate this part) and make sure that I'm getting all of the nutrients I need. I already know that I don't get enough protein and Calcium...I'm looking for a good protein drink that doesn't need milk, soy or other..I can't handle anything thick, it makes my chest congested and I spend about an hour coughing afterwards..The good thing is.this does keep me from having any ice cream or milk shakes (I would die for a Blizzard) ...I can tell you right now that I haven't been eating enough fresh greens..I use the excuse that I hate "packaged" greens.(which is all that WallyWorld where I get most of my groceries from carries, especially spinach which I love)... I know that I can go to the Farmers Market (something I still haven't done because there isn't one conveniently close to me) but truthfully I don't see that happening soon....The other thing I know that I WON'T do is count calories..I know it works for a lot of people but for me it is just too frustrating and I can only do it for a couple of days..I've tried tracking (writing down) what I eat and that doesn't work for me either...OK I know what I Won't do now I have to find what I WILL DO...I do know that I need to be AWARE of what I'm eating..(mindless eating is one of my biggest faults) then I can use all this knowledge I've gained over the years and eat what I know I should be eating..I read somewhere recently .."Food is not the enemy" (I'll blog more on this later..running out of time this morning)..

So the Positive Side...Although I  know that I have a ways to go yet I feel that I've improved my life so much over the past few months.  I am feeling GOOD about myself..I'm getting exercise (yay the gym, 5K's and hiking)..I've brought myself out of "seclusion" and have started taking pride in How I look (love my new color and haircut)...