some times all it takes is knowing that you aren't alone..thanks to Grump and her comments on my last blog!
I woke up this morning thinking to myself.."I don't know why I keep struggling with this when I know I can't do it...I have no will power when it comes to food...I'm going to be busy this week and I won't get any exercise so I'll probably just put back on the weight that's taken me this long to take off...So why keep trying! Why don't I just Accept that I'm destined to be "Old and Fat"...Talk about feeling sorry for myself!!!
Well...thanks to Grump who got me going this morning I'm not going to Accept it. I deserve to be "fit & healthy" I want to feel good about myself..It's when I stop caring that I defeat Myself! One thing that can be said about me is that I'm not a Quitter... What I really want to defeat is this feeling that I don't deserve to be what I know I can be..I just wish that it wasn't so hard to do.
Well, Nothing has ever been easy in my life, from my childhood, to losing a son and a husband...I've struggled with not having money before (you would think I would be good at it by now) and I've been by myself this past 8 years (really missing Larry today)..and will probably be by myself the rest of my life...So do I accept that all the bad things happening in my life and ignore all the good things I do have...NOT ON YOUR (or MY) LIFE!
Sure I don't have extra money to spend on presents for my family this year BUT I will still have Christmas at my house on Christmas Eve..I know that the kids all understand that I'm not be able to give expensive gifts but I do have lots of LOVE to give to each of them. And although Larry isn't with me for Christmas (you would think after 8 years it would get easier), he's in my heart as always.
I'm determined I will get to the gym at least 2X this week. I will eat my soup (which is already made for the week) for lunch. I will not give into this Self pity party! Even if I don't lose weight this week I will NOT give up, there is always next week!
On the Positive Side...My bills are paid for this month..I have groceries in my house..I always have a book I can read..and I have family and friends out there that care about me...what else could a person want in life?
Hey Sue - I know we live a long, long way away from each other, but I so understand how sometimes it is so easy to focus on our losses, life's unfairness and all we don't have. I am full of admiration for you after reading this post.
ReplyDeleteLike you I have been worrying about not being able to provide much in terms of 'stuff' for my family this year. I only have enough to pay the bills and there is little left over. It plays on my mind a lot. However, like you, I can provide a home full of love and warmth, and when all is said and done, happy times, not things, make memories.
I am so sorry you lost your son and then your husband. It must be very hard not to dwell on the harshness of those losses. I sympathise, but I am also full of admiration for your positive approach to a life which remains hard.
I am going to pinch a bit of your positivity for myself if you don't mind. Thank you for the inspiration Sue. I must look more often to all that I do have.
I must also ensure that I also cherish that great gift...the bonus of good health. I have lots of ailments, and really, to keep them at bay I have to keep fit. I have keep-fit and dance DVDs which gather dust in the home, and a bike sitting in front of my TV which rarely gets used these days. You make yourself exercise. I shall try to follow your lead.
Thanks for that post. You gave me so much to think about x x